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apologize for flirting?

MsBeverlyHills

MsBeverlyHills

New member
the other night i was waiting at a bar for my date to show up & he calls saying hes gonna be a little late (like 20 minutes). Since im already there, i grab a beer & notice this guy from my gym is also there. Well, we start talking & down a few beers & we're both pretty flirty & you can figure out the rest...

so now 40 minutes have passed & my gym buddy says lets go to another bar. So, as we're getting ready to leave- who shows up? my date! 40 minutes late. I say a quick bye to gym buddy & leave w/date who is pissed at me for flirting while waitng for him, and I dont even bring up how late he is.

hes still pissed (its been a few days) & he thinks I should apologize. I dont think so, becuse I did know the other guy & it wasent really flirting.

help? what should I do?
 
So you were actually going to leave with the other guy?

Your first date at least called and said he was going to be late. At least he had the common decency to do that. You should have been expecting him then.

Apologize to him.
 
If the guy says he's going to be 20 minutes late then he should be there 20 minutes late; if not he owes you another call saying he'll be another 20 minutes late. After a certain point you have the right to assume he's not coming and 20-30 minutes w/no call is about it. He owes you an apology for not adjusting his arrival time.
 
HumorMe said:
So you were actually going to leave with the other guy?

Your first date at least called and said he was going to be late. At least he had the common decency to do that. You should have been expecting him then.

Apologize to him.
Click to expand...


.
 
no need to aplogize. your not serious or married to him, he should build a bridge and jump. the other guy was just a friend
 
HumorMe said:
So you were actually going to leave with the other guy?

Your first date at least called and said he was going to be late. At least he had the common decency to do that. You should have been expecting him then.

Apologize to him.
Click to expand...

so I should of just sat there 40 minutes waiting for hiim? maybe it would of been better if i left instead of talking to another guy?
 
HumorMe said:
So you were actually going to leave with the other guy?

Your first date at least called and said he was going to be late. At least he had the common decency to do that. You should have been expecting him then.

Apologize to him.
Click to expand...


I agree. Flirting while sitting at the bar waiting is one thing, but actually leaving with another guy while waiting for a guy you made plans with is wrong. If I was the date guy, that would have been our last date, I don't have time for inconsiderate people. Were you even going to call him to tell him that you were leaving with someone else, or were you just going to let him figure it out on his own?
 
yeah, i guess she should be expected to just sit there like an ass for a full hour...or maybe till the place closed, just to be absolutely sure he wasn't gonna show up
 
Forge said:
I agree. Flirting while sitting at the bar waiting is one thing, but actually leaving with another guy while waiting for a guy you made plans with is wrong
Click to expand...

I agree... but logic sorta flies out the window after 3 guiness (black & tans actually).
 
$20 says these opinions all change when they get left standing for 40 minutes.
 
Since you knew Guy B already, why does being friendly & hanging out count as flirting in the 1st place??

Why was Guy A 20 min LATER than he said in the 1st place....for a total of 40 min late??

I wouldn't have waited 40 mins for a guy I wasn't "involved" with....
 
MsBeverlyHills said:
so I should of just sat there 40 minutes waiting for hiim? maybe it would of been better if i left instead of talking to another guy?
Click to expand...


I didn't say you couldn't talk to anybody. I was just saying that he did call you and say he was going to be late.

You were making the effort to leave with another guy knowing your first date was going to be late. Were you going to call your first date and tell him that you left with someone else cause you couldn't wait a few minutes more for him? Probably not.

I don't think you put your best foot forward in this situation so you should at least apologize to him unless he is not worth it. If I was that guy, I would have been furious and I probably would have let you just walk out the door with the other guy.
 
jenscats5 said:
Since you knew Guy B already, why does being friendly & hanging out count as flirting in the 1st place??

Why was Guy A 20 min LATER than he said in the 1st place....for a total of 40 min late??

I wouldn't have waited 40 mins for a guy I wasn't "involved" with....
Click to expand...

friendly/hanging out= flirting in my book

never got a reason for him being late.

I wasent going to wait- iwas going to leave w/gym guy..LOL!
 
MsBeverlyHills said:
friendly/hanging out= flirting in my book

never got a reason for him being late.

I wasent going to wait- iwas going to leave w/gym guy..LOL!
Click to expand...

Well I don't count talking to someone/being friendly/chatting as flirting myself.....

I don't see any reason to apologize....
 
MsBeverlyHills said:
I agree... but logic sorta flies out the window after 3 guiness (black & tans actually).
Click to expand...


Eh, women blame so many things on being drunk. Being irresponsible is still being irresponsible no matter what the reason.

I take it you aren't too interested in this date guy? Because if you are, then you really should apologize ASAP.



By the way, why WAS he so late? Did he at least have a good excuse?
 
HumorMe said:
I don't think you put your best foot forward in this situation so you should at least apologize to him unless he is not worth it. If I was that guy, I would have been furious and I probably would have let you just walk out the door with the other guy.
Click to expand...

He wasn't exactly putting his best foot forward either, being 40 minutes late for a date. He was probably playing Playstation with the fellas. LOL
 
Dial_tone said:
He wasn't exactly putting his best foot forward either, being 40 minutes late for a date. He was probably playing Playstation with the fellas. LOL
Click to expand...


:lmao: He probably was. He did call though. I think he was pissed that she was leaving with someone else and that is what he wants an apology for not the flirting.

I never dated a woman that was ever on time either. Always putting on make up or some shit.

I did date one though that was always ready at the exact time I was picking her up. I married her.:D
 
HumorMe said:
:lmao: He probably was. He did call though. I think he was pissed that she was leaving with someone else and that is what he wants an apology for not the flirting.

I never dated a woman that was ever on time either. Always putting on make up or some shit.

I did date one though that was always ready at the exact time I was picking her up. I married her.:D
Click to expand...

Yeah, but he called & said he would be 20 mins late....but was actually 40 mins late......he was rude to be twice as late as intended.....I would not have waited either....
 
The last two girls I've been out with haven't worn makeup at all....a change of shirts and they're ready to roll.
 
HumorMe said:
:lmao: He probably was. He did call though. I think he was pissed that she was leaving with someone else and that is what he wants an apology for not the flirting.

I never dated a woman that was ever on time either. Always putting on make up or some shit.

I did date one though that was always ready at the exact time I was picking her up. I married her.:D
Click to expand...

he was prob more pissed that the someone else was like 6', 200 & about 5% bodyfat! ha...kidding maybe 8% :p
 
jenscats5 said:
Yeah, but he called & said he would be 20 mins late....but was actually 40 mins late......he was rude to be twice as late as intended.....I would not have waited either....
Click to expand...


I know but at least he called. I understand he was 20 minutes later than he said but maybe he had a good explanation but I guess we will never know unless Beverly finds out.
 
Forge said:
I agree. Flirting while sitting at the bar waiting is one thing, but actually leaving with another guy while waiting for a guy you made plans with is wrong. If I was the date guy, that would have been our last date, I don't have time for inconsiderate people. Were you even going to call him to tell him that you were leaving with someone else, or were you just going to let him figure it out on his own?
Click to expand...


She shouldn't have to wait 20 extra minutes on top of the other 20 that the guy was already late. He could've rescheduled or something since he was so late.
 
HumorMe said:
I know but at least he called. I understand he was 20 minutes later than he said but maybe he had a good explanation but I guess we will never know unless Beverly finds out.
Click to expand...

She said he had no reason.....And it's great that he called & said he would be 20 mins late.....after 30 mins went by & no show, shows over dude, you lost out....I'm gone....
 
jerkbox said:
yeah, i guess she should be expected to just sit there like an ass for a full hour...or maybe till the place closed, just to be absolutely sure he wasn't gonna show up
Click to expand...



Exactly. I myself would be embarrassed to keep a date waiting that long, and would feel like just saying forget it. It's disrespectful either way, and is grounds for either a bad first date or no second date. One would have to go far out of their way to make up for such lateness.
 
MBH,

Your 'date' sounds way too insecure. The only thing you did wrong was not go out with the gym guy and bang his brains out, lol.

A babe like you shouldn't be left waiting.
 
Maybe so but if my date was walking out the door with another guy because I was 20 minutes later than I stated then I would say that I haven't lost much.
 
You can be pissed off to have waited for those 20 additional minutes

But is it a reason to go away with another guy ?
If you care about the 1st guy, you'd better apologize
 
Anthrax said:
You can be pissed off to have waited for those 20 additional minutes

But is it a reason to go away with another guy ?
If you care about the 1st guy, you'd better apologize
Click to expand...

she didn't go away with the other guy.........she said goodbye to him and stayed with the date who was late........or at least that's the way i read it.
 
vinylgroover said:
she didn't go away with the other guy.........she said goodbye to him and stayed with the date who was late........or at least that's the way i read it.
Click to expand...


Read again. She was getting ready to leave with him.
 
at the end of the day, is your budding relationship with date guy salvageable? if so, i would probably level with him, but leave out the "i was about to leave with gym guy" part. id just say "i was there, i was tipsy, and i was getting along well with him. there was no sleazy intent, it was just a nice chat and a nice time"

but honestly, if you have some sort of history with date guy then i think you did the wrong thing by progressing so fast with gym guy.

depending on how insecure/indignant date guy is, it might be best to bail - if i was kinda seeing someone or was clicking with them well, but the same scenario happened, i would reduce that girl to "physical only, unless lightning strikes" status and thats that. if you cant be considerate and wait a few minutes for me, then i flat out dont want you in my life except to scratch an itch. maybe something went wrong? or he underestimated the time it was going to take?
 
HumorMe said:
Read again. She was getting ready to leave with him.
Click to expand...

but she didn't leave that's the whole point. After 40 minutes she was entitled to think that her date had stood her up. However, as they were leaving, he came in and she decided to stay with him. She could have easily said to the late guy 'sorry, you've blown your chance' and left with the other guy. To me, that shows alot of consideration on her part.
 
you never get a 2nd chance to make a first impression, and he sure blew his.
 
GoldenDelicious said:
at the end of the day, is your budding relationship with date guy salvageable? if so, i would probably level with him, but leave out the "i was about to leave with gym guy" part. id just say "i was there, i was tipsy, and i was getting along well with him. there was no sleazy intent, it was just a nice chat and a nice time"

but honestly, if you have some sort of history with date guy then i think you did the wrong thing by progressing so fast with gym guy.

depending on how insecure/indignant date guy is, it might be best to bail - if i was kinda seeing someone or was clicking with them well, but the same scenario happened, i would reduce that girl to "physical only, unless lightning strikes" status and thats that. if you cant be considerate and wait a few minutes for me, then i flat out dont want you in my life except to scratch an itch. maybe something went wrong? or he underestimated the time it was going to take?
Click to expand...

actually i did say somthing like that- I just didnt say I was sorry about it.

The gym guy really is a buddy, nothing more, even after a few beers, I would party w/him but no sex... alot of women hit on him at the gym & hes kind of a big attention whore.. not my type & my date knows this.
 
Last edited:
Hell NO don't say sorry and kick that 40 minute late ass to the curb. It his own dam fault he left you waiting there.
 
Beverly

Here's my 2 cents and I do want change

It seems like you may like the guy (or else why are you still talking) in which case be practical and offer some kind of apology.

Even if you dont like him, it saeems like you want to have good relations with the person (perhaps you knowhim from somewhere) in which case the same applies.

You used the word "flirt" and only you know what it entailed. You acknowledge you were about to leave with the guy, apparently wiht no word to your "date." I dont even know the reason for his delay. That seems like it would merit some kind of apology/acknowledgement. Were it reversed I imagine most here would feel the same
 
MsBeverlyHills said:
The gym guy really is a buddy, nothing more, even after a few beers, I would party w/him but no sex... alot of women hit on him at the gym & hes kind of a big attention whore.. not my type & my date knows this.
Click to expand...
thats fair enough, but by the language you used, and the tone of your original post, i got another impression. especially the posts where you said you had 3 drinks or whatever, and said you were going to leave with gym guy

at the end of the day your feelings are your own, but if you do acknowledge that you really were flirting with gym guy to date guy, imo it will lower his regard for you. so imo, its probably best to stand your ground, deny deny deny, and maybe salvage it. if its worth it to you.

cheerios
 
First, I'm not the kind of person that judges another for their decisions. Since I wasn't there, I can't say what *you* did was or wasn't acceptable.

But, my first thought was ...... what if the situation was reversed? I would be mad as hell if my date was leaving a bar with another girl. Maybe theyare just friends, maybe not. It is hard for your date to read the intentions of an under-the-influence girl at a bar, having fun with, and then leaving with another guy. Again, situation reversed, I would be PISSED at him if he was leaving with a girl. And I am a firm believer in treating others the way I expect to be treated.

Yes, he was late. Yes, he should have called again and again when he was delayed further. That is rude and inconsiderate of him. But leaving with another guy? Not sure why he SHOULDN'T be mad.......
 
MsBeverlyHills said:
I agree... but logic sorta flies out the window after 3 guiness (black & tans actually).
Click to expand...


If you were coherent enough to make the decision to leave, you were coherent enough to have enough consideration to let the guy know you were going to ditch him.

Personally, I would have told you to fuck off on the spot and left.

Though I wouldn't have been 40 minutes late either.
 
If he had been on time this wouldn't have happend and that's the bottom line.
 
Daisy_Girl said:
First, I'm not the kind of person that judges another for their decisions. Since I wasn't there, I can't say what *you* did was or wasn't acceptable.

But, my first thought was ...... what if the situation was reversed? I would be mad as hell if my date was leaving a bar with another girl. Maybe theyare just friends, maybe not. It is hard for your date to read the intentions of an under-the-influence girl at a bar, having fun with, and then leaving with another guy. Again, situation reversed, I would be PISSED at him if he was leaving with a girl. And I am a firm believer in treating others the way I expect to be treated.

Yes, he was late. Yes, he should have called again and again when he was delayed further. That is rude and inconsiderate of him. But leaving with another guy? Not sure why he SHOULDN'T be mad.......
Click to expand...

This is exactly what I was going to type.
 
and people wonder why the world is in trouble.

here, while the entire planet is burning, the pressing issues get ignored and trivial shit like, 'was i wrong for not being able to last 20 minutes without being all over some guy's nuts?' is all the buzz.

we are doomed.
 
AristotleBC said:
That's doesn't make much sense DT. You could use that line of 'reasoning' to justify anything.
Click to expand...

How about this one.....if he had called again like a gentleman and said "I'm gonna be another 20 minutes, can you wait?" this wouldn't have happened.
 
Assuming she's not exagerating (hey, she said she was too drunk to take responsibility for leaving w/ the other guy) and he was not say, only 10 extra minutes late, perhaps he was in traffic?

Either way, both made errors.

And that's enough discussion about that.
 
Dial_tone said:
If he had been on time this wouldn't have happend and that's the bottom line.
Click to expand...
dont agree with you DT. the issue for me would be that there is the potential for this to happen with a partner (in this case, ms beverly). if i was to forge a lasting relationship with someone, id want them to be considerate /kind enough to give me the benefit of the doubt at least, in the beginning

this isnt meant to slag ms beverly; like i said, the nature of her relationship and her own emotional state/dating status is her business, and im not judging her in any way...but im tolerant enough to wait for an hour, just in case something went wrong, or if someone was to say they were going to be late, i wouldnt automatically downgrade their importance in my life and move on to the next one - i would wait and see what happened
 
p0ink said:
and people wonder why the world is in trouble.

here, while the entire planet is burning, the pressing issues get ignored and trivial shit like, 'was i wrong for not being able to last 20 minutes without being all over some guy's nuts?' is all the buzz.

we are doomed.
Click to expand...
and whats the point of this comment? big things are made of little things, and the way people treat each other on a personal level is integral to how whole societies interact

whether or not ms beverly had a nice time on the weekend and did the right thing is as important, in its way, as any of the issues you like to litter the boards with in your constant news threads.

by the way, your choice of words could have been better. if you have a sister i dont think youd appreciate someone saying that she was "all over her boyfriends balls" or something like that

cheers
 
If it was me you were flirting with, you should have ditched Mr. Tardypants by telling him politely that it's dangersous to keep a lady waiting, to chill until next time and hopped into the DeVille with Cheffy Smoove for a ride up the Côte d'Amour.
 
it wasn't wrong to be talking with the other guy, just getting ready to leave with him, imo.
yes, your date was very late, but he did call, even if he was wrong about how late.
but, it doesn't sound like the relationship would go anywhere anyway- it started on a bad note and you'd probably both be leary of trusting the other person at this point.
 
I have never wanted to quote so many posts in a single thread, ever! Just quote, nothing else, because the posts say EXACTLY what I`m thinking.

So freaking many of them.

Damn you flirter! jk

Darn you.
 
MsBeverlyHills said:
the other night i was waiting at a bar for my date to show up & he calls saying hes gonna be a little late (like 20 minutes). Since im already there, i grab a beer & notice this guy from my gym is also there. Well, we start talking & down a few beers & we're both pretty flirty & you can figure out the rest...

so now 40 minutes have passed & my gym buddy says lets go to another bar. So, as we're getting ready to leave- who shows up? my date! 40 minutes late. I say a quick bye to gym buddy & leave w/date who is pissed at me for flirting while waitng for him, and I dont even bring up how late he is.

hes still pissed (its been a few days) & he thinks I should apologize. I dont think so, becuse I did know the other guy & it wasent really flirting.

help? what should I do?
Click to expand...

I wait for 15 minutes. If they're not there within that time, I'm gone. If they call telling me they're going to be late I wait unitl 15 minutes after that time, then I"m gone. If I'm not important enough to be on time for or at least keep me posted on what's happening, then there is no sense in me wasting my time waiting on someone so completely inconsiderate.
 
MsBeverlyHills said:
the other night i was waiting at a bar for my date to show up & he calls saying hes gonna be a little late (like 20 minutes). Since im already there, i grab a beer & notice this guy from my gym is also there. Well, we start talking & down a few beers & we're both pretty flirty & you can figure out the rest...

so now 40 minutes have passed & my gym buddy says lets go to another bar. So, as we're getting ready to leave- who shows up? my date! 40 minutes late. I say a quick bye to gym buddy & leave w/date who is pissed at me for flirting while waitng for him, and I dont even bring up how late he is.

hes still pissed (its been a few days) & he thinks I should apologize. I dont think so, becuse I did know the other guy & it wasent really flirting.

help? what should I do?
Click to expand...

I guess he'll not be late next time.
I don't think you should apologize and if he makes an issue out of it he's not the man for you.
 
OH POO HOO.

What if she ran into a girl buddy from the gym and flirted with the whole bar and got "caught" leaving together when "late date boy" ran into them?

It's the same thing except for the "late date boy" feeling intimidated by the "other" penis.

If this was a first or second date and wouldn't even remember that he existed after that.

Uh.
 
strongsmartsexy said:
I wait for 15 minutes. If they're not there within that time, I'm gone. If they call telling me they're going to be late I wait unitl 15 minutes after that time, then I"m gone. If I'm not important enough to be on time for or at least keep me posted on what's happening, then there is no sense in me wasting my time waiting on someone so completely inconsiderate.
Click to expand...

Obviously you haven't been caught up in a heated game of Doom 3.
 
Daisy_Girl said:
First, I'm not the kind of person that judges another for their decisions. Since I wasn't there, I can't say what *you* did was or wasn't acceptable.

But, my first thought was ...... what if the situation was reversed? I would be mad as hell if my date was leaving a bar with another girl. Maybe theyare just friends, maybe not. It is hard for your date to read the intentions of an under-the-influence girl at a bar, having fun with, and then leaving with another guy. Again, situation reversed, I would be PISSED at him if he was leaving with a girl. And I am a firm believer in treating others the way I expect to be treated.

Yes, he was late. Yes, he should have called again and again when he was delayed further. That is rude and inconsiderate of him. But leaving with another guy? Not sure why he SHOULDN'T be mad.......
Click to expand...
Why you are mod and a reasonable person to boot - ability to see the other person's side.
 
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