andrew dice clay isn't funny

[p0ink]

yeah, he is a real piece of shit who isn't funny at all. his whole bit is about trying to be as 'offensive' as possible without using any humor, whatsoever.

'what do you do when your wife doesnt want to fuck? you rape her and then punch her in the face! yeah! that's right'

shock value comedy is never funny, probably because nothing shocks me.

if you want to hear good comedy, listen to david cross, dave attell, or bill hicks, not some guy who dresses like the fonz from happy days.

 

[UA_Iron]

Hickery Dickery dock, a bitch was sucking my cock
clock struck two, shot my goo
and dropped her off at the next block.

 

[BileStew]

Hickery Dickery dock, a bitch was sucking my cock
clock struck two, shot my goo
and dropped her off at the next block.

lol...

Little boy blue...

He needed the money..........OHH!!!!

 

[jerseyart]

Jack and Jill went up the hill

They each had a buck and a quarter

Jill came down with $2.50

What a slut

 

[jenscats5]

If you don't speak the language, get the fuck outta the country!! Ohhhh!

 

[BileStew]

Old Mother Hubbard
went to the cupboard
to get her poor dog a bone
when she bent over
Rover took over
And gave her a bone of her own.


OHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[jerseyart]

So I have my tongue up this chciks ass

She turns around and says "Do I know you?"

Ohh I get bored waiting on line at the bank

 

[BileStew]

Little Miss Muffett sat on a tuffet, eating her curds and whey, along came a spider and sat down beside her, and said, "YO, WHAT'S IN THE BOWL BITCH!!"

 

[supersizeme]

Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get the other side...OOOHHHHHHH!!!!

wait a minute

 

[Mr. dB]

For once I agree with p0ink. Clay is not funny. His timing sucks, and he lacks any sort of subtlety. And the "OH!" business is almost as bad as comics who laugh at their own jokes.

 

[jerseyart]

'Three blind mice...see how they run....
where the fu*k are they goin!'..

 

[jerseyart]

'Georgie Pordgie puddin and pie,
Jerked off in his g/f's eye..
When her eye was dry and shut...
Georgie f*cked that one-eyed slut!

 

[rushx79]

he has his moments.

 

[EnderJE]

Sure, in the late 80s and very early 90s.

 

[IvanOffelitch]

Dice stopped being funny right around the time he released "Ford Fairlane." His career went into the ground like a fuggin' lawn dart shortly thereafter.

 

[velvett]

Eh, he was funny in his time. He just said what many people were thinking and were taught not to say (God willing). Certainly not a classic as far as humor goes but he has made me laugh in the past.

 

[slickdadd]

Kinda funny when you first see him, but given the style of humor he specializes in, repeated viewing doesn't provide many laughs for long.

 

[wootoom]

mary mary quite contrary shave that pussy its so damn hairy OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

 

[BileStew]

Eh, he was funny in his time. He just said what many people were thinking and were taught not to say (God willing). Certainly not a classic as far as humor goes but he has made me laugh in the past.

Laugh how, you think he's funny?

I'm funny how? Like a clown?
I'm here to fuckin amuse you?
I make you laugh?
FUNNY HOW?
WHAT THE FUCK IS SO FUNNY ABOUT ME?"
Huh? TELL ME! I wanna know.

LOL...I so loved that scene with Pesci.

 

[jenscats5]

Laugh how, you think he's funny?

I'm funny how? Like a clown?
I'm here to fuckin amuse you?
I make you laugh?
FUNNY HOW?
WHAT THE FUCK IS SO FUNNY ABOUT ME?"
Huh? TELL ME! I wanna know.

LOL...I so loved that scene with Pesci.

That was an AWESOME scene!!

 

[Spartacus]

Mother Goose lives in a shoe
she had so many children her uterus fell out

reminds me of werd
aka beached whale
aka bikinimom

 

[GoldenDelicious]

he ahd his moments

 

[Razorguns]

THE DICE MAN IS AWESOME!!!!

The guy is vicious. He could rip Howard Stern, Don Imus, Bill O'Reilly anyone you throw at him to PIECES! Eat them for lunch baby!

You should see interviews where people *tried* to put him down or criticize them or belittle them. Boy were they in for a shock! The guy is a MASTER at jokes and insults!