A Reason for Living

[Franco C]

To pass by and see your face everyday, to hold my hand on a glass window pane peering in as you bask in the warmth emitting from a warm coal stove. My hand slides off the glass as the rain pours and it reminds me of your purity. Then it happens, I hear another voice, an unfamiliar deep tone, who could this be? My soul is lost and I feel like dying, I shed a tear, it all seems clear, yet for only a moment until I pass out, a faithful bottle by my side. I hear a whisper in my dreams, but it's only a whisper and it isn't real.

 

[Franco C]

Your lips are malleable beauty crafted by pure perfection, your eyes reflect the bluest sky in all of its glory. Your voice can bring joy to the saddest child, but your heart denys, denys me. Please don't leave me, please don't flee, you tell me you need me, you tell me you love me, but then I awake from my sleep.

 

[Franco C]

The end is near, I really do not fear it, a decision made, no turning back, I wish it didn't have to end this way, I wish happy endings existed, but my wishes are used up.

 

[SofaGeorge]

Franco it is very concerning when someone posts a poem about committing suicide.

Is this just a poem, or did you just take pills?

 

[Franco C]

I wish they made pills that can fix hearts.

 

[Franco C]

Your box is full, but don't worry, I'm fine I appreciate your concern, but really i'm ok..

 

[SofaGeorge]

You'd be amazed what can fix hearts. I lost all three women that I loved to tragedy. Kind of harsh odds to face before you hit 40.

You never think you will laugh again. You never think you will love again. But you do.

A friend of mine's dad was a fighter pilot in WWII. He lost pretty much everybody that he was close to during the war... every friend he had. He wrote to me:

"...what this taught me was that no matter how deep our pain... life continues to hold interesting experiences to be had and interesting people to meet."

 

[Franco C]

Karma for you, your a good person.

 

[SofaGeorge]

Your box is full, but don't worry, I'm fine I appreciate your concern, but really i'm ok..

Thanks! Cleaned it out. PM me your phone number if you need to.

 

[Test boy]

Don't find much poetry around these parts.

Franco...things will get better.

I also have a somewhat shattered heart though it is not from a relationship in the normal sense.

 

[Test boy]

Thats some beautiful stuff Franco. Are you on clomid?

I couldn't write poetry like that if my life depended on it.

 

[Crazier]

I haven't seen you around on the board's before... but helping other's is what I'm on this earth for.

Nothing else gives me greater pleasure.

And because I've hurt to such great capacity before, I usually am able to help others.

PM if need be.

Peace.
--

 

[Franco C]

No clomid, just that mood that seems all too familiar around these parts setting in, and thanks for your support.

 

[Raina]

I know the feeling. Just got out of a 2 year relationship in the past week. I've been a mess. So my dr gave me xanax and now I'm feeling fabulous. It's a temporary fix but at least I'm eating and sleeping again.

Life goes on. Sometimes it hurts, but all you can do is learn from it and move on.

 

[Franco C]

I know the feeling. Just got out of a 2 year relationship in the past week. I've been a mess. So my dr gave me xanax and now I'm feeling fabulous. It's a temporary fix but at least I'm eating and sleeping again.

Life goes on. Sometimes it hurts, but all you can do is learn from it and move on.

Is your hurt in that stomach wrenching self induced vomitting, insomniac self pity worthless sort of way?

 

[Raina]

Is your hurt in that stomach wrenching self induced vomitting, insomniac self pity worthless sort of way?

Well I couldn't eat or sleep or do anything but cry. I dropped almost 10% of my body weight in a couple of weeks. So now I'm doing this short term. Long term I'm going to be fine. I'm not feeling sorry for myself. I ended it. It just hurts to see him hurting and I'm not used to living alone. No pity-- I'm excited to start over.

 

[Franco C]

Well I couldn't eat or sleep or do anything but cry. I dropped almost 10% of my body weight in a couple of weeks. So now I'm doing this short term. Long term I'm going to be fine. I'm not feeling sorry for myself. I ended it. It just hurts to see him hurting and I'm not used to living alone. No pity-- I'm excited to start over.

Do you ever get that over whelming feeling of apathy. It scares me sometimes, I feel like I have a lack of direction, but I'm a head case so whatever. =p

 

[Crazier]

The end is near, I really do not fear it.

I welcome it. Her name is Wormwood, and I pray she is headed for us. I pray she will cause meteor showers and tidal waves. I pray she will cause judgement on every human that walks the earth.

I pray she hit's us while we sleep tonight.

I say these things, not because I'm suicidal, moreso, because I see beauty in death, and judgement.

I see these things, not because I always have, I see these things because I have found peace.
--

 

[Raina]

Do you ever get that over whelming feeling of apathy. It scares me sometimes, I feel like I have a lack of direction, but I'm a head case so whatever. =p

I think it's normal to feel somewhat disconnected and apathetic when you're under a lot of emotional stress. Or at least that's the case for me.

As for direction, you have a lot of options. Keep that in mind. I'm excited that I have little tying me down at this point. Consider your options, think about where you'd like to go-- what you're interested in, take a risk, and go for it.

 

[Test boy]

Wow...all the guys seem to be trippin on clomid.

 

[Franco C]

If thats you in your avatar Raina, some casual sex might make me feel better.

 

[Raina]

Yes that's me in my avatar-- but I'm not that kind of girl. Sex isn't a solution anyhow. I don't want to cheapen it like that.

 

[Franco C]

The internet allows me to say things I normally wouldn't insofar as borderline material as not to hurt my ego. Sorry if I offended you. Sometimes I wear g string underwears though and ride around on a pony stick slapping my ass and shooting whip cream in the air.

 

[Raina]

I forgive you.

 

[Mdguy]

After reading this thread I think it's about time to have a group hug-Raina, you get in the middle

I hate to bring up the old adage, but you have to look at the glass being half full rather half empty. EVERY human has experienced things like this..it is a part of living here on Earth. An event like this will only open up new venues in your life and make you a stronger person in the end--keep looking up, you're not alone