A new issue with the ex

[Lestat]

So check this out.

You may or may not remember that my Ex and I work for the same company. Different departments, but kinda related, but different buildings, so we don't really see each other during our day to day work.

She's worked here a while and so have I. I have a lot for friends here at work, not just co-workers, but friends.

Today one of my closest friends here, Joanne, got an email from my ex.

It said "I don't know if this is appropriate or not, but I wanted to ask you how Brian was doing?"


My friend, being the good friend she is, immediately called me over to her desk and showed me the email.

My friend is asking if she wants her to reply, what to say, etc.

I'm not sure what if anything should be said. Its a little unfair to ask my friend to completely ignore my ex because they do work together sometimes and it could make things awkward professionally. My friend Joanne is the nicest person and wouldn't want to do or say anything to hurt me, but she wouldn't want to do anything to make things awkward between her and a co-worker.

My gut instinct is telling me just to have her not reply, but I think no acknowledgement of the email would probably mean another one would come.

 

[Dial_tone]

A simple "he seems ok to me".

 

[Razorguns]

how about:

"he's doing good. What's up?"

 

[strongsmartsexy]

"He's doing great. How are you?"

 

[from zero]

See above.

And YOU should play it off like you never knew there was an email, and live your life.

 

[strongsmartsexy]

Oooooooooooooooooor


Oooooooooooooooooor

You could have her respond with.

His experience with you turned him gay and he's now dating From Zero.

 

[TheProject]

See above.

And YOU should play it off like you never knew there was an email, and live your life.

Word.

The more you overthink it, and the more you try to control personal things in the workplace, the worse it'll get.

You should ask Joanne to not tell you about any other e-mails, and tell her to respond honestly.

 

[Dial_tone]

how about:

"he's doing good. What's up?"

excellent....translation: wtf do you really want to know, woman!

 

[gonelifting]

Refer to Project`s sig.

 

[velvett]

He's doing well, yah he's good, good.



The ex either thinks you're going to jump off a building and is concern but doesn't want to contact you directly or she wants to know that you're tortured because it pleases her.

 

[Becoming]

excellent....translation: wtf do you really want to know, woman!

yeah, or "hey I am checking up on him cause I am worried he moved on without me" lol

 

[TheProject]

Refer to Project`s sig.

I like the direction this is going.

 

[bran987]

yes to 2nd part of velvett's italics
yes to becoming
yes to razor's response

 

[bran987]

can I just reiterate here please do not send her some long email or try to have her explain anything at all in any way, leave it at a one liner and do not suggest that ANYTHING is wrong with you.

I don't think you are going to

I just want to make sure for your sake

 

[Daisy_Girl]

"He's doing great. How are you?"

Perfect. And like FZ said, don't mention it to the Ex. ANd I agree with Vel's italics (of course, she's a smart lady!).

 

[jerseyart]

Shudder, Project is right. Velvett as well re: the reason. I am leaning towards wants to make sure your suffering/draw attention to herself ie: "look how great I am, he can't get over me"

Just tell your coworker your doing great, have started dating again, and you're moving on. Ditto the "no need to tell me in the future" advice.

 

[TheProject]

Project is right.

Hot damn, that's twice in one day!

 

[PHATchik]

Project is right.QUOTE]

Hot damn, that's twice in one day!

Now that's just scary.

But as far as the situation goes..Joanne should just tell her you're fine and drop the subject. She also shouldn't come to you with this...the sooner you can move on from the whole thing, the better off you'll be.

It's always difficult when you work in the same company, but as you said, you're in different departments and different buildings, so there's no reason you should have to interact in anything other than work-related situations. When those come up, keep your chin up and never ler her see you hurt.

 

[gab9681]

Go home, don't worry about it. Let your friend reply with whatever she wants, drink a few beers, go out and find another lady. If you can't find a lady, visit the Pics board, punch the munchkin, have more beer, go to bed.

 

[bran987]

she is a good friend for coming to you and I would've wanted a good friend to tell me. loyal
or else she just enjoys drama like most girls

 

[chesty]

She should not have showed you the email. She is betraying the trust of your ex. She should reply honestly and without your input or knowledge.

 

[big4life]

This is what she should have sent to her.

I don't know how he is. The last time I saw him, he was going into an office with (some hot woman's name here), and they have been in there for a while. We heard some banging and moaning, so he must be ok.

 

[Becoming]

She is betraying the trust of your ex.

Maybe she doesn't trust her?

Lets face it, given a situation between 2 people you know, it is hard not to feel you trust one (or are on one's side) more than the other....

 

[chesty]

That is quite true!

 

[bran987]

I want to know what he did!

 

[Lestat]

She should not have showed you the email. She is betraying the trust of your ex. She should reply honestly and without your input or knowledge.

she has no loyalty or trust to my ex... she was only friend with my ex through me.

 

[Lestat]

I want to know what he did!

I told her not to respond to her question and I didn't feel good about her talking to my ex about me.

 

[AAP]

I would have said "Well, actually he is really getting on everyone's nerves over here constantly talking about that new heiress with the double D's that he has been seeing. You know, just because her father owns >>InsertBigCompanyHere<< and has been having him over at dinner and playing golf, ain't no reason he got to get a swelled head like that. And the part of her sending him flowers at work was downright tacky. So, what's new with you?"

 

[Lestat]

I called another guy friend of mine that also works here.....

I asked him if my ex had been talking to him about me... he said she asks about me everytime he talks to her.

I said I heard that from another friend, and I'd appreciate if they didn't discuss me. They can be friends, talk about whatever, but just don't talk about me.

He said when she asks he'll just say I'm doing fine.

 

[RADAR]

Judging from all this, i would say she still has deep feelings for you, Beware! & don't be suprised if right outta the blue when she finds you are dating and happy, she will realize that she messed up and will try to get you back.


RADAR

 

[Becoming]

Judging from all this, i would say she still has deep feelings for you, Beware! & don't be suprised if right outta the blue when she finds you are dating and happy, she will realize that she messed up and will try to get you back.

totally.... keep moving forward with your life bro... never back...

 

[chesty]

Yeah, sounds like she still cares for you. Wish I could say the same about mine. But oh well, meeting lots of single women!