A little dilemma

[Lestat]

So today at noon the entire Finance and Accounting department at my company goes to the Del Mar horse races. They also invite all the IT support staff, which is why I would be going. This is the 6th year I will have gone to this event. It is fully paid for, admission, food, even drinks.

My dilemma is that my ex gf, who I have only seen in the one accidental run in in the halls in the past 3 months will be there as well, or at least is on the invite list.

Just the idea of seeing her at this event makes me anxious, I can't imagine actually being there and having to co-mingle. Also I am sure there are still people here that don't know we are broken up, and the people that do know would be looking at us both wondering if we are squirming.

I'm thinking of just skipping the the thing entirely. I know that sucks, but I'd rather just make this as easy as possible for myself.

Thoughts?

 

[velvett]

You can either go and enjoy yourself or you can let the mere fact that she exists in your world control your life.

 

[gab9681]

Quit being a weiner man. She is your ex. Don't let her get to you. Just ignore her or make simple small talk if you must. Then go home, have a beer and beat your dog. It's simple.

 

[Smurfy]

what velvett said.

 

[Becoming]

I personally would go and pretend like she doesn't exist... but I am a cold bastard like that...

You know I would say maybe she will not go cause she would rather not run into you, but we all know she is the cold hearted "lets be friends" type...

I would go and use this as a opportunity to prove to yourself that you got this thing beat and that you are in control of you, not some lame ass sentimental emotions...

If you do go, keep your contact with her to a minimum... don't go out of your way to speak with her or acknowledge her, and enjoy hanging with others there... but be friendly but short if she approaches you....

Also keep some kind of a back up plan at the ready (a "prior engagement" you are supposed to attend that might cut your stay short-and make sure to drop this fact to a friend or two before hand) so that you have an escape hatch if you need it...

Just my 2c

 

[Lestat]

thanks...

I'm thinking of going in the beginning and bailing early... in hopes that I don't run into her.

I don't see it as letting her control my life, I just really don't feel like seeing this particular individual right now and am doing what I can to avoid it.

I'll go enjoy the free food, have a couple margaritas, then enjoy the afternoon off.

 

[Smurfy]

can I go?

 

[coverguy]

even if it's hard, you can't let her ruin your life. sooner or later you'll be fine with interaction such as this ... why not get a start on making it sooner by going!

 

[Lestat]

can I go?

Sure, having a date there would make this easier.

 

[Lestat]

even if it's hard, you can't let her ruin your life. sooner or later you'll be fine with interaction such as this ... why not get a start on making it sooner by going!

Very true. I hear what you are saying and agree, I'm just not quite to that place yet. I'm not sure that forcing it will do any good.

 

[jenscats5]

Would it look bad for you in the company if you didn't go? I know some companies look at these events as a "must attend" due to it being early in the day & expect some "face time" from their employees. If they didn't go, they'd have to work till 5....

Have fun & do your best to ignore her/deal with it as best you can & to hell what other people think....

 

[Y_lifter]

She is making you want to live in a cave on a mtn top in Tibet...

Go have fun and if someone makes a mistake about you two, simply
say "we are no longer together"..

If you run into her say Hello and go about whatever you were doing..
It's not like she killed a family member of yours and got away with it or something..

Sure there's pain, but the pain has to go away slowly sooner or later..

 

[jerseyart]

Lestat,

I understand your wish to avoid this scenario. Ideally you would never have to see her again.

Unfortunately, given the situation, its best that you face it head on, otherwise these concerns will continue to own you. Go, be polite but distant, and conduct yourself with dignity. Good luck man

 

[velvett]

Lestat,

I understand your wish to avoid this scenario. Ideally you would never have to see her again.

Unfortunately, given the situation, its best that you face it head on, otherwise these concerns will continue to own you. Go, be polite but distant, and conduct yourself with dignity. Good luck man

Se now Jersey feels the same way I do - he just knows how to say it with sensitivity.

 

[Dial_tone]

The sooner you get over your apprehension of bumping into her, the sooner bumping into her won't bother you anymore.

 

[jerseyart]

Se now Jersey feels the same way I do - he just knows how to say it with sensitivity.

My momma learned me good

 

[velvett]

My momma learned me good

Pop just said, mean what you say and say what you mean.







or was that Alice in Wonderland??? gosh it's such a blurr these days....

 

[Lestat]

I wish it was just as simple as saying "its not gonna affect me" and that was that.... but I think most of you know that emotions don't always cooperate with your normal rational sane self...

 

[velvett]

I wish it was just as simple as saying "its not gonna affect me" and that was that.... but I think most of you know that emotions don't always cooperate with your normal rational sane self...

Well, no.

You just tell yourself that yes this might effect me but I have the inner strength to deal with it in the best possible way I can.

That and you know what it's a few hours of time that will be over and not a jail sentence.

 

[from zero]

Fuck bro.


Don't go then. You obviously have too much of a problem to live your life if this broad is anywhere near you.

 

[jerseyart]

Well, no.

You just tell yourself that yes this might effect me but I have the inner strength to deal with it in the best possible way I can.

That and you know what it's a few hours of time that will be over and not a jail sentence.

OMG, that is exactly what I say to all the women with whom I have slept

 

[Lestat]

So I went...

I left early though.

I did see her, but didn't really bump into her or get close enough to even acknowledge she was there. It wasn't exactly comfortable for me though.

I definitely walked RIGHT past her last Thursday at the Dave Matthews concert. I wasn't 100% sure that night because she had glasses on and she never wore glasses before.. but when I saw her today she had glasses on.

I don't miss her, I don't see her and feel bad because of the loss... i just see her and feel disgusted.. ashamed for letting her get into my head so much... sorry I ever loved her.

 

[Becoming]

sounds like you did good...

 

[Lestat]

sounds like you did good...

I guess... I showed, which I was seriously debating not doing, but like people have said I don't want her to really control my life.. although I'd be lying if I said she didn't have any effect.

 

[velvett]

You did really well Lestat and besides stuff like this just will just make you stronger for potential future situations both social and business related.

Don't be sorry for loving her, you had good times together and there's no shame in that because you did nothing wrong you're human.

 

[awittyusername]

Damn, you did good!!! Don't be upset for letting her get to you. It happens to all of us. But, I think you know how much you learned from this experiance. You are smarter than the avg. guy. You didn't latch onto the first girl you met. You are definatly using this experiance to grow as a person and will eventually be happier in the end.

Selfishly, I am glad she dumped your ass. I really enjoy the stories of you banging chicks.

 

[Lestat]

Damn, you did good!!! Don't be upset for letting her get to you. It happens to all of us. But, I think you know how much you learned from this experiance. You are smarter than the avg. guy. You didn't latch onto the first girl you met. You are definatly using this experiance to grow as a person and will eventually be happier in the end.

Selfishly, I am glad she dumped your ass. I really enjoy the stories of you banging chicks.

Yeah.. I've had some crazy sex since the breakup, I guess I can thank her for that.

I'll really be thanking her once I find someone who I am eventually closer with then I ever was with her.

 

[jh1]

I don't miss her, I don't see her and feel bad because of the loss... i just see her and feel disgusted.. ashamed for letting her get into my head so much... sorry I ever loved her.

This is the part I wanted to hear...

Now go back and read all your previous post and read replys... Becoming, Myself..

Back then it was impossible for you to see yourself having these feelings about her... it slowly creeps up on you, and one day... bam... she disgusts you.... which is what you want. She is disgusting.

 

[Becoming]

Seriously bro - not long ago you wouldn't have been able to pull this off at all...

you are making progress... better things/times/chicks are to come...

 

[Smurfy]

Im glad you decided to go. There is no law that says you cant be affected by her still. Its ok. You did good though. I think youre doing great

 

[Lestat]

thanks JH, Becoming, and SMurfy.. i needed that.

 

[Lestat]

was glad I got through this one