A devastating category 5 cyclone is headed directly for my home as i type.

[GoldenDelicious]

it is absolute pandemonium where i am. there is no fuel to be bought. canned food is sold out. there are no batteries, candles, or torches left on sale. there is a solid stream of traffic in the outbound lanes heading out of town. my phone is buzzing from people asking if im ok and what they should do. there have been some amusing moments

from one of my sisters: "golden, if the cyclone breaks my windows, will it blow my cupboards open and make my clothes go flying? should i put them in a safe location?"

factor : 15/20.

women, mang. even with a whirling vortex of death and destruction heading directly for them, they think of how they look

from another person i know: "will the storm surge come up to the house? should we get floaties?" (floaties are those little floating things you put on toddlers upper arms to stop them drowning)

factor: 17/20

thats some dumb shit. seriously.

from another person: "if the cyclone comes, what happens to the water in the pool? does it all get blown out?"

factor: 15/20

clearly, physics isnt compulsory anymore.

the comments ive made so far that have got me the most hilarious reactions:

"i cant believe we're gonna get hit by a cyclone. thats fucked. you just KNOW the lawn is gonna grow like jacks beanstalk. i just mowed that shit!"

"fuck man. the wind is gonna fubar my hair. i need some stronger wax"

"this cyclone is going to totally fuck my cutting cardio. i HATE running in wet shoes"

"im going to go shelter at the highschool. you just KNOW theres gonna be chicks there "

anyway. must go. have to cut gloryholes in plywood and write "AAP was here" or something, cause you KNOW this is gonna be a boring 3 days

 

[HumorMe]

Good luck.

 

[GoldenDelicious]

thanks humorme. had a quick nap, itll be downgraded to a 4 or a 3 by the time it gets here (hopefully) so im no longer concerned

 

[Mr. dB]

Gives new meaning to the term "Darwin Awards".

 

[GoldenDelicious]

Gives new meaning to the term "Darwin Awards".

deebs my home is an overengineered reinforced steel bunker. thats hat happens when builders build their own houses. im allowed to be complacent

 

[HiDnGoD]

Good luck, man.

 

[KillahBee]

LMFAO at floaties!

stay safe brother.

hopefully some of those fatties from that local club/bar picture you showed us get blown to another town

 

[GoldenDelicious]

LMFAO at floaties!

stay safe brother.

hopefully some of those fatties from that local club/bar picture you showed us get blown to another town

uuuurrrggghhhh you sick bastard i just had a mental of them being blown

ooooooh yuk

anyway. bastard mofo cyclone is heading towards my place like an arrow. also, i checked the tides, and its high tide...VERY high tide...at the same time the eye of the storm goes over the ton. it it stays on course a couple of very expensive marina estates (uninsurable for storm surge, to boot) are going to be wiped out.

tomorrow is going to be an interesting day.

cheers for all the good thoughts, ill try and take some footage on the dvdcam

 

[Spanky11]

I recall a little cyclone called Tracy a few years back that hit your little shanty town with the force of a 1000 suns a few years back...

I hope it all works out ok for you.

 

[pintoca]

golden, you there?

golden?

oh well, can I have your karma?

 

[GoldenDelicious]

I recall a little cyclone called Tracy a few years back that hit your little shanty town with the force of a 1000 suns a few years back...

I hope it all works out ok for you.

yes, you are correct. the whole town was levelled by a cyclone 30 years ago, making it a place where only the strong could survive - soft girly skin was replaced with buffalo-hide like epidermis, the gentle swell of buttock and breast was replaced with swollen bags of life preserving fat, and pleasant, whitely flashing teeth calcified into thick horny mineral lumps, not unlike a row of large cashews

Homo Sapiens Darwinus Disgustingus Wilderbeastingus was born...

...and they were all female

how you doin toca you good? good

 

[sawastea]

This isn't in the news. So much for world news on CNN

 

[Deterass]

good luck maing

 

[GoldenDelicious]

This isn't in the news. So much for world news on CNN

well her name is Monica

ive been wondering what would run through bill clintons mind when he reads the weather report probably "ill fuckin say! "

 

[sawastea]

 

[Lumberg]

Does this mean we'll get a break from your posts for a while?

 

[Becoming]

you fuckers never ask anything important....

from one of my sisters

how many sisters do you have and are any of em hot?

post pics before you all die please.

 

[fistfullofsteel]

Somewhere Over The Rainbow, Bluebirds fly. Birds fly Over The Rainbow. Why then, oh why can't I? If happy little bluebirds fly beyond the rainbow, why oh why cant I?


it's a twister auntie em, it's a twister

 

[hamstershaver]

i thought only the aboriginals lived up there

 

[sawastea]

That looks like an Atari video game

 

[fistfullofsteel]

I guess we could all lie and say we are going to miss you but that would be wrong

 

[pintoca]

i thought only the aboriginals lived up there

Golden is aborigin

 

[superqt4u2nv]

Be safe GD and please let us know how really really good you looked through it all!

 

[Mr. dB]

deebs my home is an overengineered reinforced steel bunker. thats hat happens when builders build their own houses. im allowed to be complacent

I was referring to the quotes in your original post.