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A case of the monkeys

Cardinal Slin

New member
Puddle?

Guys/Gals,

I am seriously bored, a little bit depressed, that's about it. You all got any good laugh material?

No blonde jokes, heard them all before ;)

Whistlepanties, I know you got the material.
 
I could tell you all about research studies and the subconscious... but instead I'll just give you a tip for the day, when you are talking to someone, and trying to spot if they are being sincere, ignore the lower half of the face and pay attention to the upper part, the 3000 muscles around the eyes reveal if the person is consistent with their story or not... a quick look away or a tendency to tense up around the eyes is a good indication they are lying or being insincere to ya...

The only funny thing I could pass on is my fake sick call to work this morning... I suck at lying, but I got one sick day left so oh well.
 
One day, three boys were walking over a bridge when they heard a guy yelling for help. It was President Bush. He was drowning, and the three boys rescued him. He thanked them dearly and promised them whatever they wanted as a reward.

The first boy wanted $10,000, so Bush gave him the money. The second boy wanted a Ferrari, so Bush gave the boy a Ferrari.

The third boy wanted a wheelchair, Bush said, "Why do you want one of those, son, you're not handicapped."The boy replied, "I will be when my dad finds out whose life I saved."
 
A man and his wife were invited to a swanky masked Halloween Party. The wife got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there was no need of his good time being spoiled by not going. So he took his costume and away he went.
The wife, after sleeping soundly for one hour, awakened without pain, and as it was still early, she decided to go to the party after all. In as much as her husband did not know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him.

She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice girl he could, and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there. His wife moved on up to him and being a rather seductive woman herself, he left his partner high and dry and devoted his time to the new stuff that had just arrived.

She let him go as far as he wished; naturally, since he was her husband. Finally he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and had a little romp.

Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away and went home and put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make for his behavior. She was sitting up reading when he came in and asked what kind of a time he had.

He said, "Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you're not there."

Then she asked, "Did you dance much?"

He replied, "I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the den and played poker all evening. But I'll tell you... the guy I loaned my costume to sure had a real good time!"
 
One day, three boys were walking over a bridge when they heard a guy yelling for help. It was President Bush. He was drowning, and the three boys rescued him. He thanked them dearly and promised them whatever they wanted as a reward.

The first boy wanted $10,000, so Bush gave him the money. The second boy wanted a Ferrari, so Bush gave the boy a Ferrari.

The third boy wanted a wheelchair, Bush said, "Why do you want one of those, son, you're not handicapped."The boy replied, "I will be when my dad finds out whose life I saved."

Awwww, this brought a warm fuzzy feeling to my heart :chomp:
 
he replied, "i'll tell you, i never even danced one dance. When i got there, i met pete, bill brown and some other guys, so we went into the den and played poker all evening. But i'll tell you... The guy i loaned my costume to sure had a real good time!"

lmao
 
hehe nothing better than some hummor might want to watch caddyshack for a quick recovery...
 
why can't mexicans be fire fighters????


they can't tell hose A from hose B.......

get it????
 
Guy walks into a psychiatrists office wearing a skirt and halter top. Dr. says "well sir, dressing like a woman doesn't mean you're crazy but I can clearly see you're nutz". BADA BING!
 
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