5 years arent enough... nothing is...

[nangiggles]

A cousin just uploaded a pic of my dad on facebook, a pic I've never seen, I didnt bring a lot with me here... you cant pack ur life in 2 bags and a carry-on... I hadnt seen a pic of him in a long time, brought all the tears back

Dad died in 05, it does hurt less but it still sucks so bad, worst part is that tiny pieces of him fade in my memory which makes me feel worse, I dont want to forget him, but I dont wanna remember him either

 

[tha joker]

Why wouldn't you want to remember him? Good or bad, he was your father.

 

[nangiggles]

Why wouldn't you want to remember him? Good or bad, he was your father.

he was a great father, i want to keep him in my memory but remembering him is sometimes too painful/sad

 

[tha joker]

I'm sorry to hear you feel that way. Hopefully you will feel better with time. Try to think of how he would want you to feel about his death. I doubt he would want you to feel sad.

 

[ceo]

My dad passed away May 15, 2009. I know how ya feel nan.

 

[nangiggles]

i dont get down all the time but that pic really hit me hard.... made me cry real bad... damn cancer.... how does this damn thing not have a cure yet (i know i know so many types in so many places, not all are the same, etc)

 

[bakemeacookie]

poor thing

c

 

[EnderJE]

 

[EnderJE]

Wait a second...

 

[nangiggles]

I love pedobear, he makes me lol... it does seem a bit out of place in my mourning thread though....

 

[BlueBird]

You're a good daughter, Nan.

 

[nangiggles]

As many I could have been better but I was prety good, rarely gave him crap, never got in trouble, never had him called to the principal's office, never caused a high phone bill, A student but never in my life did homework, graduated high school and college earlier... I was a pretty unexciting kid as I am an adult

 

[Mr. dB]

I have similar feelings when I think about my dad, who died in February 2007.

 

[nangiggles]

I have similar feelings when I think about my dad, who died in February 2007.

I know, it's hard because it's like a struggle between keeping them in ur memories and remembering them but at the same time it kinda sucks/hurts to remember so it's pretty much a F up dichotomy between remembering and forgetting... of course forgetting and moving on are not the same in this case... confusing...

 

[javaguru]

A cousin just uploaded a pic of my dad on facebook, a pic I've never seen, I didnt bring a lot with me here... you cant pack ur life in 2 bags and a carry-on... I hadnt seen a pic of him in a long time, brought all the tears back

Dad died in 05, it does hurt less but it still sucks so bad, worst part is that tiny pieces of him fade in my memory which makes me feel worse, I dont want to forget him, but I dont wanna remember him either

The older I've gotten the more respect I've gained for my father. The hardest thing I've had to do was give a eulogy at his funeral. I have some distinct memories that define his character, you don't need to remember every detail.

 

[PICK3]

The hardest thing I've had to do was give a eulogy at his funeral.

you're a strong bro! no way could I have done that

 

[-SD-]

The older I've gotten the more respect I've gained for my father. The hardest thing I've had to do was give a eulogy at his funeral. I have some distinct memories that define his character, you don't need to remember every detail.

damn im trying to imagine doing that bor

 

[javaguru]

you're a strong bro! no way could I have done that

I'm the youngest of the siblings and it was difficult but I did my best, I'm a very good public speaker but I choked up several times. One of the things my father taught me was that one has to persevere and always do what is right, no matter the consequences to yourself.

 

[shirlene29]

I know, it's hard because it's like a struggle between keeping them in ur memories and remembering them but at the same time it kinda sucks/hurts to remember so it's pretty much a F up dichotomy between remembering and forgetting... of course forgetting and moving on are not the same in this case... confusing...

I can relate to this

my grandmother was my primary caregiver when I was very young ..like she was my mother 360 days out of the year..and she died pretty young (her and me) and remembering even twenty years later hurts.. but you worry about forgetting too
things like daffodils and a pair of boots remind me of a smile leaning down to look at me and the smell of a woodstove on a crisp winter morning..... but then I forget the exact color of blue eyes....

it is very very hard to lose the ones we love and that have loved us

it will always hurt but it really will hurt less ....at some point

 

[nangiggles]

I'm the youngest of the siblings and it was difficult but I did my best, I'm a very good public speaker but I choked up several times. One of the things my father taught me was that one has to persevere and always do what is right, no matter the consequences to yourself.

Dad didnt have any sort of service, he didnt want any, he was just quietly and privately creamated as he wished, Im the youngest too, the second dad died I took the reigns and notified all the family and made all the cremation and final arrangments, I felt like I had to do it because I didnt want my mom to do it, my brother and sister leaned on their significant others for support during the difficult time I instead shut away my boyfriend at the time because I knew the second someone stopped to hug me or comfort me I would break down and not get up... it cost me my boyfriend though... he resented I didnt look to him for support eventhough him letting me take care of everything and giving me space was the support I REALLY needed.... we all mourn differently I guess, Ironically when my dad's brother died years back he was the exact same way, made all the arrangements to get the body back to CR eventhough he had no money... he slept in the funeral home in a casket next to his brother(cuz it was cold as fuck/winter), that's how broke he was, he took care of everything until he was burried.... he then went into a room and didnt come back out for like 3 days...