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Couples Counseling
- Thread starter Captain FT
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wtf does that even mean? You cheated, or you didn't.
Even if you didn't, you're thinking about it.
Do the guy a favor and just leave him.
PICK3
New member
It may not be black and white the first time but for me, if it happens again, it's very black and white. I tried working it through as someone who was cheated on and it kept happening and I couldn't get past it.
rainbococksleev
New member
I fuckin love people that just whine about shit their whole life and never do anything about it, it's not annoying as fuck at all
WoodyO
New member
Nah, we watch Rabbids Invasion.
Was it too much to capitalize the "C"?
You're not entirely right but not wrong. She had withdrawn from him and was not talking to him or returning his calls or not meeting for lunch and a quickie in the back of his Prius. So he had always threatened to come to me and tell me what was going on. She finally said fine if that's what you're going to do. He reached out to me through me email asking if I wanted to know the truth about their relationship (I never liked the guy but didn't know their work "friendship" was a "fuck/suck-ship"). I asked her wtf this was all about and she finally broke down and told me everything because she knew he would.
In the past his threats had always kept her coming back to him because she thought I would leave so it was a vicious cycle she was caught in and couldn't get out. He knew how to play her vulnerabilities. She has past family issues with her mom and dad so (finding this out through therapy) it was easy for her to compartmentalize what she did at work with him and forget about it and come home to me.
It wasn't like every day they would go to lunch and hook up, it was off and on over four years, it's still awful and completely fucked up but it wasn't every day for four years. Anything more than once is too much though.
rainbococksleev
New member
This is exactly wtf happened she'd still be sucking his dong right now then comin home and kissin you and your kids with her filthy dicksucker right now if he wouldn't have got his wife pregnant... She didn't do this for yalls relationship she did it cause she's mad at the other dude she's obviously in love with and all butthurt
rainbococksleev
New member
That kinda makes sense I somewhat retract my statement I guess, I still gave u the best advice in this thread and u keep ignoring me so fuck u anyways, u and buffgay
rainbococksleev
New member
Yeah prolly not but u should just trust what you're wife says about all this I would for sure
Yeah, she has no reason to lie.
rainbococksleev
New member
I bet that Prius gets great gas mileage in park while he's gettin slopped up
rainbococksleev
New member
I'd rather my girl cheat on me by gangbangin the Harlem globetrotters than some fgt in a Prius
*then
Why would he expose the relationship then? He did. So what was the purpose then?
rainbococksleev
New member
I'm gonna stick with than
Here is what happened.
He knocks his wife up. Realizes he's gotta end this 4 year affair.
Tries ending it w/FT's wife
She threatens to tell Prius Fgts wife.
Prius fgt realizes shit just went bad.
Prius fgt flips the script relealizing he is fucked and tells Captain Fat Titties his wife's a whore.
Captain Fat titties and his cheating ass wife are too busy dealing w/their own mess.
Prius guy skates back home and either tells his wife a completely sugar coated version of the affair, or says nothing at all.
peter quinn
New member
captain...i dont know you. ive never even read a post by you (im just getting back to this board after 10 years). what i do know is your situation sucks. i can type a long drawn out response and jump on the "fuck her" or "leave that bitch" bandwagon, but i wont.
what i will tell you is, like you, in all my years i have neither considered nor wanted any type of counseling in relation to my personal life from some stranger ive nvr met.
that being said, my now ex fiance and i started going to counseling. i was 100% against it at first. we tried 3,4 or 5 different ones until we found one that "got" us. she was great. we enjoyed our time with her and she taught us how to communicate to each other (which became obvious we had no clue how to do). that relationship was on/off for 10 years, the best of which were in counseling.
our issues didnt involve cheating and we werent married (not on paper anyway)...but imo, you will have to make a decision if you can/will get over what has happened. she has to be genuine on ger side as well. once/if you decide to get over it, do whatever it takes to work the issue out and move on with your lives. if you hold it over her head and keep that resenment you feel now, it will nvr wrk even if you say youre over it.
it has to be 110% effort from both sides to get past it. find a great counselor who relates to yall in some way (not just in a by the book psycoloicial way). get everything out there. EVERYTHING.
some people would nvr be able to really get over a situation like that (by some people i mean me)....but each person and situation is different.
get to the ROOT CAUSE of the indiscretion and go from there. if you really want to work it out i wish you the best of luck my friend. its a horrible situation and will definitely take a lot of time and dedication from both parties to get past. improbable, but NOT impossible.
...ok, so that got longer than i expected.
...and please excuse typos. im on my phone
what i will tell you is, like you, in all my years i have neither considered nor wanted any type of counseling in relation to my personal life from some stranger ive nvr met.
that being said, my now ex fiance and i started going to counseling. i was 100% against it at first. we tried 3,4 or 5 different ones until we found one that "got" us. she was great. we enjoyed our time with her and she taught us how to communicate to each other (which became obvious we had no clue how to do). that relationship was on/off for 10 years, the best of which were in counseling.
our issues didnt involve cheating and we werent married (not on paper anyway)...but imo, you will have to make a decision if you can/will get over what has happened. she has to be genuine on ger side as well. once/if you decide to get over it, do whatever it takes to work the issue out and move on with your lives. if you hold it over her head and keep that resenment you feel now, it will nvr wrk even if you say youre over it.
it has to be 110% effort from both sides to get past it. find a great counselor who relates to yall in some way (not just in a by the book psycoloicial way). get everything out there. EVERYTHING.
some people would nvr be able to really get over a situation like that (by some people i mean me)....but each person and situation is different.
get to the ROOT CAUSE of the indiscretion and go from there. if you really want to work it out i wish you the best of luck my friend. its a horrible situation and will definitely take a lot of time and dedication from both parties to get past. improbable, but NOT impossible.
...ok, so that got longer than i expected.
...and please excuse typos. im on my phone
I find that unlikely. I highly doubt she would threaten to tell his wife and potentially have it blow up in her face as well. She already had kids from what I can tell he had none. He is the one that threatened to expose the affair. He sounds abusive. She had more to lose.
rainbococksleev
New member
Fuck off Java go back to jail
rainbococksleev
New member
Thanks a lot cpt fgt turd now you just ruined Cindy and planks relationship
rainbococksleev
New member
Ya my schedule is packed now I have to go spy on my girl everyday on her lunch
It's not that common. She should pick up a book.
How Common is Cheating & Infidelity Really? | World of Psychology
I dont need another man to leave my husband, that is the most foolish mistake women make, jump from one relationship to another.
Kids are not the only thing that bond you to a person, we've built a life together, he came to the US with me, he helped me through college, we have a house, merged financial assets, etc. Above all I wish I could be happy with the way things are between us, I really do, but I'm not, and I cant justify to myself leaving. Not yet, but I am feeling a bit more empowered and I'm begining to think it's time, I had never legitimately made plans to leave him or had a real desire to leave him, but I do now. I'm not saying I'll do it this week but I'm begining to realize that this isn't the way life is supposed to be.
PICK3
New member
you're knot leaving dick
Why are you doing this?
The question he asked himself after he found out is "Do I want her to love me and do I want to stay married to her"
The answer to those is yes. If you think that a lifelong commitment to someone means a lifelong commitment to people that aren't weak, don't have flaws and don't make mistakes then good luck. Because you have never learned how to forgive and your posts just ooze with bitterness and resentment. You don't have to be that way. She wants to work on the marriage and they have kids. SO does he. It doesn't matter her reasons. It can be done and they can be better, but you're too bitter to see that it can happen and if it does look at how the kids will benefit if their parents figure out how to cope with something so COMMON and not just survive it but thrive despite it. He wants to see his kids every day. He wants to work on this. The kids will benefit if they do both try and not be shuffled around. She can grow from this. So can he. She doesn't have to cheat again.
Affairs happen more often than divorces. Think about that. That means that not just sociopaths have affairs. They can grow from this and have a great marriage. It's completely possible.
rainbococksleev
New member
Nan you've been Skype fuckin dudes huh is that what you mean by you haven't actually cheated or whatever the fuck u said
rainbococksleev
New member
Wow lolI think the time is popcorn 30 in this bitch
Who should pick up a book? Nope. Maybe in the 80s, but today infidelity is the main cited cause for divorce, how is that when no fault divorces are so prevalent, and not only that not everyone who as an affair ends up discovered or even divorced from it?
I didn't start this thread to create a riff with Cindy and Plank, everyone calm the fuck down. You can clearly see how men and women are different. I'm definitely on Cindy's side with the opinion.
Mitch, regardless of what the "real" story might be its the story I know and there is nothing good about it either. What I'm trying to do is pick up the pieces and move on with the person I still love and have children with.
I can't sit and analyze every "what if" and "why that", the shit happened...I'm trying my best to move forward.
And yes I was really pissed about the whole Prius thing too.
Mitch, regardless of what the "real" story might be its the story I know and there is nothing good about it either. What I'm trying to do is pick up the pieces and move on with the person I still love and have children with.
I can't sit and analyze every "what if" and "why that", the shit happened...I'm trying my best to move forward.
And yes I was really pissed about the whole Prius thing too.
peter quinn
New member
people get shanked for cheating.
I'm not stupid enought to admit or even deny anything, either way you will all make a mockery out of me. If I didn't cheat I'm a pussy who wont leave, if I cheated I'm a whore, there is no wining here, y'all like kicking people when they are down. Capt is looking for a way to hold on to his marriage and his family through a new found trust, forgiveness and counseling and all you bitter ass bitches keep egging him on to break up his family.
Nice lives.
rainbococksleev
New member
A prius gets 2150 mpg in park
Nan I knew it would turn into this, it's C&C and expected. It does make me feel better about my choice to move forward. I'm not a bitter person.
Mitch at first you offer your sympathy, then it steers towards a mockery and entertainment. I've always heard in real life you're a nice guy and I've seen that side before, sometimes it is hard to get a read on you here though. You do provide good entertainment though and it allows me to laugh at this situation so thanks for that.
Mitch at first you offer your sympathy, then it steers towards a mockery and entertainment. I've always heard in real life you're a nice guy and I've seen that side before, sometimes it is hard to get a read on you here though. You do provide good entertainment though and it allows me to laugh at this situation so thanks for that.
rainbococksleev
New member
Why are you doing this?
Doing what? And whose alter are you anyway?
After being in this board for 7 years I know how to read real replies and entertainment ones.
Seriously.
rainbococksleev
New member
Awkward silence or naa?
For sure its crickets in here now shit got real.
alright cocksucker, you want a real answer? Fine.
Nobody can tell you what the right thing to do is. Only you can decide what's best for you and your children at this point. Sounds like you've already figured it out though so best of luck.
It all just depends if she is WORTH another chance. I don't know her, and nobody else here does so only you can answer it. Has she cheated on you or anyone else in the past? If she has, she'll more than likely do it again.
If a few years down the road you end up in the same situation again relationship wise, will she go off and cheat to fulfill her needs again? How will she handle that?
Is cheating unforgivable? Im not saying it is, but 4 years bro? A one time incident is a lot easier to forgive than repeated affairs or ones that last years.
And, I know where you're coming from. To those in here that call me bitter, and say that i haven't forgiven or can't. Well, more than likely you were already aware you were being cheated on or suspicious of it already happening. It's a hell of a lot easier to forgive when you already knew or suspected a problem than when you think life is wonderful and nothing is wrong makes it very hard to trust that person again.
and I meant what I said when I wished you the best.
rainbococksleev
New member
Also, that was really fude to act like planks not a good guy.. One time he even bought shirlz a bunch of steroids
rainbococksleev
New member
Lolololololololol she actually left when I called her javagurlru when she was roid ragin on her mom but hopefully the shame kept her away
^^ (Plank's longer post)this is exactly the reason I have stayed single and celibate for the last two years. For the first time in my life, someone hurt me so deeply, there was no going for strange or any of that nonsense. I also didn't want to spend the rest of my life with the absolute bitter rage that I have felt for a long time. Time does NOT heal all wounds. You have to do some work and eventually make a choice to let it go.
FT, I agree with plank. The answer lies with you and I think you know that. If you do all you can do to save the relationship and it doesn't work, at least you know you tried.
FT, I agree with plank. The answer lies with you and I think you know that. If you do all you can do to save the relationship and it doesn't work, at least you know you tried.
rainbococksleev
New member
You're winning at ruining yalls relationship, she did go for the jugular with the "why are you doing this?" though that was pretty cold blooded ... I expect an apology from both of yall to each other or atleast buy her some steroids
A round of kava stat!
rainbococksleev
New member
IN for kava!
Thanks bro. I wasn't asking for you to give me a real answer but I appreciate your words. It's a fucked up situation and though I come and go sometimes on these boards I have known a lot of the regulars for awhile, including you. This place is a good place to air your problems semi-anonymously and get some opinions along with some ball busting, I knew that when I posted.
I also know my approach would be in the minority, I wanted to see what some of the other guys thought and it pretty much fell in line with what I expected.
I appreciate everyone's kind encouraging words, even yours Mitch cause you know I'll be back in another post (probably when I buy a Prius) to get a good ball busing like the baby dick fgt that I am.
That's really good IMO. It's not fair to be in another relationship with someone else if you're still not over the previous one, and that includes resulting bitterness.
I'm not condoning cheating, and there's a difference between what is going on here (IMO) and narcissistic personality disorder. But what I don't get behind is the idea that it's okay to take marriage vows and not consider that you would forgive your partner for cheating and prepare yourself for these type of situations. It's just naive.
Also, the whole affair thing. Men and women are open to infidelity equally but men typically won't do the affair, they do the one time thing so I understand why that's easier to wrap their minds around, but it's not fair to make blanket statements about what type of cheating is forgivable. Men typically, they'll get their needs met. Men sometimes are oblivious to any problems in the relationship until the affair has been exposed and by then there are a ton of problems already there that allowed the affair to even happen. There's emotional distance, there's unmet needs, bad behaviors, there's all kinds of things happening, and outside personality disorders, affairs don't happen overnight. It's not like oh everything was wonderful, yeah maybe for the person getting their needs met! IMO only someone completely self absorbed and lacking in self awareness would say that it was only one person's fault. Only in the event of marrying a sociopath or someone with a mental illness would you be looking at maybe a true innocent victim.
We are not equipped with the skills needed to avoid these things by default. Marriage is HARD and takes work. People think that phrase "marriage is hard" means nothing, its just a phrase. It's not just a phrase. Anyone married for 40 years says its HARD WORK. This is what makes marriage HARD. This is where you roll your sleeves up and work on it. You know, and a lot of people aren't interested in being married and that's okay too. But you know, we are all human beings, and we are all flawed.
^^Cindy^^
A lot of people are interested in getting married until it takes hard work to make it right.
I was always one of those people that thought it should just work everyone should be happy. That's not the case. I agree with everything you said.
A lot of people are interested in getting married until it takes hard work to make it right.
I was always one of those people that thought it should just work everyone should be happy. That's not the case. I agree with everything you said.
Hey look I know all the good bros here including miplank. I may get my balls busted butt facts are facts and my situation sucks I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I appreciate everyone's help and input and I'll move forward with my life...
Cindy I appreciate you too. I feel like your planks voice of reason when not trying to make a show for himself. In other words she's your better half Mitch.
You're a good bro plank, or great bro, give good advice when asked seriously. I look up to your Witt which is hard sometimes cause you aren't always there. Thx for your feedback and opinion I value it.
You're a good bro plank, or great bro, give good advice when asked seriously. I look up to your Witt which is hard sometimes cause you aren't always there. Thx for your feedback and opinion I value it.
I watch the Showtime series The Affair, not sure why, it's like torture.
peter quinn
New member
i believe the opposite is true. the masculinity (machismo, whatever you want to call it), would more than likely cause the man to make a decision without thinking it out completely.
the first inclination of a masculine man would be...."fuck it, im out this bitch".
...and may or may not regret it after more rational thoughts come into play.
PICK3
New member
It's the "masculine" man to the observer. You are masculine for not cutting and running to the observer.
i dunno man he does like gay Toyotas
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