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is it ok for your spouse to (smurf and chris need not apply)
- Thread starter shirlene29
- Start date
OH man...that is a VERY tough one..and has been
I got a LOT more prudent in my day to day and he loosened up a bit
but we're still not on the same page
we both just try to keep it under control
but it explodes now and again
stosstruppe
Well-known member
My wife has full access to all my "important" internet areas (online banking, e-mail etc) & vice versa so that we can resolve issues - typically financial - ASAP. However we don't "snoop" on each other's "recreational" online habits such as online forums, facebook & gaming as that's just intrusive of personal "down time".
billfred
New member
We are the same. Total open book financially, same checking accounts and investment accounts.
We are don't ask don't tell socially accounts.
If I'm in a relationship and start feeling the need to snoop through his stuff, I know it's time to break up with him for my own benefit. Even if he hasn't done anything. If its at that stage, I clearly don't trust him and insecurity like that almost only gets worse, never better. Snooping rarely stops one from being insecure when nothing is found, it just encourages someone to snoop harder.
I don't see how anybody could stay with a person they had to snoop on. I was in that relationship once, and I hated the person I was during that whole time after I caught him cheating on me. You find something, you're upset. You don't find something, you're still insecure and searching. Sick cycle of being mentally fucked no matter the outcome.
I learned that I could only be with someone I trust completely for sure, more for me than bc it'd be fucked up to them. I hated the person I'd become way more than I hated him for what he did.
I don't see how anybody could stay with a person they had to snoop on. I was in that relationship once, and I hated the person I was during that whole time after I caught him cheating on me. You find something, you're upset. You don't find something, you're still insecure and searching. Sick cycle of being mentally fucked no matter the outcome.
I learned that I could only be with someone I trust completely for sure, more for me than bc it'd be fucked up to them. I hated the person I'd become way more than I hated him for what he did.
billfred
New member
Problem is, once you put a ring on it, that breaking up is a little harder to do.
Right. I guess I'd need to hope any of that sort of behavior made itself apparent prior to marriage. I feel like red flags would be there. All my relationships that have gone bad, had big red flags in hindsight. Unfortunately we often choose to ignore them.
I can't say what I'd do if I were married to someone and felt that way, obviously. Therapy I suppose.
I can't say what I'd do if I were married to someone and felt that way, obviously. Therapy I suppose.
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