So my wife officially left me yesterday

[WoodyO]

I just spoke to her. She hasn't paid the lawyers retainer yet and she said she wouldn't do it either.

She's staying with her sister, but she hates it there. I offered the house to her, but that was kind of stupid of me since i have nowhere to go.

Her therapist told her to spend some time away from me and to go back to how things were when we dated.

We're trying not to tell my mom whats going on, so my mom will watch woody like she always does on wednesday, then i'll pick him up and bring him home for a while until she comes to get him.

 

[superqt4u2nv]

My son is 4 and my daughter is 16.

I went through my parents divorce a little younger than your son I was 3. In younger kids typical things are for them to strart acting like a baby again. I was potty trained really young before I was 2 but when my parents split I started wetting the bed. I also started eating with my hands etc little things.

I saw my brothers best friend go though his parents split when he was 19 people think when kids are older its easier but it's not. I think your step daughter will struggle more than your son. If she isn't already seeing a therapist due to the eldest sons death than it might be a good idea to have her start.

I really do hope you can work through things sounds like you still really care for your wife.

 

[blueta2]

I'm reaching out to give you a huge hug! The pain is tough, but like someone said above, use the time to maybe grow from it. Let her grow from it and if you two truly want to be together, maybe the break / break-up can be the catalyst to a better marriage.
What I would have given for a man like you to have reached out on line to express pain and to actually care about what you lost!

Like others have said, if you need me, but since you have so many offers to talk, I can only offer you "rebound sex" ..kidding!
lots of healing hugs

 

[youpissmeoff]

Woodyo.. Good luck good bro. Hope the best outcome cones your way - whatever that may be.

 

[WoodyO]

The lawer freaked her out i guess. Sound like he was rushing her to get a restraining order, even though im not violent towards her or the kids. He had her bring in my recent w2, so I'm guessing he wanted to bleed me dry.

 

[WoodyO]

I went through my parents divorce a little younger than your son I was 3. In younger kids typical things are for them to strart acting like a baby again. I was potty trained really young before I was 2 but when my parents split I started wetting the bed. I also started eating with my hands etc little things.

I saw my brothers best friend go though his parents split when he was 19 people think when kids are older its easier but it's not. I think your step daughter will struggle more than your son. If she isn't already seeing a therapist due to the eldest sons death than it might be a good idea to have her start.

I really do hope you can work through things sounds like you still really care for your wife.

She's gone to a therapist a few times, but i think her high school friends have helped her the most. Shes changed a lot since her brothers death. I'll ask her why she doesnt use her rifle and she'll say she always shot with Jesse. The same went for her skateboard or playing the wii. She's abandoned anything that she did with him.

 

[shirlene29]

sounds like classic depression and a family that isn't sure what they want out of counseling because it doesn't bring him back....so whats the point


but the point is to all love each other in a meaningful way

 

[WoodyO]

sounds like classic depression and a family that isn't sure what they want out of counseling because it doesn't bring him back....so whats the point


but the point is to all love each other in a meaningful way

Yeah, i think you nailed it right there. Unfortunately, none of us has figured out how ro move on after Jesse's death.

 

[superqt4u2nv]

I just spoke to her. She hasn't paid the lawyers retainer yet and she said she wouldn't do it either.

She's staying with her sister, but she hates it there. I offered the house to her, but that was kind of stupid of me since i have nowhere to go.

Her therapist told her to spend some time away from me and to go back to how things were when we dated.

We're trying not to tell my mom whats going on, so my mom will watch woody like she always does on wednesday, then i'll pick him up and bring him home for a while until she comes to get him.

That sounds like a decent idea.

The lawer freaked her out i guess. Sound like he was rushing her to get a restraining order, even though im not violent towards her or the kids. He had her bring in my recent w2, so I'm guessing he wanted to bleed me dry.

Why most people hate laywers

 

[shirlene29]

actually...I think its an amateur move on the part of the therapist...getting them to remember what it felt like when they were butterflies and rainbow sprinkle pooping kittens doesn't even begin to touch the gravity of whats happened
and is a move best left for inconsequential shifts apart not monumental foundation shaking earth shattering circumstances

I would be willing to bet everyone in the home has a touch of ptsd (except for possibly the youngest)....ptsd is caused by something shaking your core belief system and slamming it on the ground a few time until life doesn't make sense
I cant imagine the horror, stigma, shame (unwarranted all) and sense of profound loss everyone feels
that your children should outlive you is a pretty solid part of most peoples belief system...only certain types of therapists work with ptsd well...and when they do its not comfortable therapy because its incredibly challenging