So my wife officially left me yesterday

[superqt4u2nv]

Yeah, i think you nailed it right there. Unfortunately, none of us has figured out how ro move on after Jesse's death.

It's a long process but you all have each other to lean on. I really feel like it's possible for your family to grow back together.

Depression is the 4th stage of the 7 stages of grieving so maybe your further along than you think.

 

[blueta2]

actually...I think its an amateur move on the part of the therapist...getting them to remember what it felt like when they were butterflies and rainbow sprinkle pooping kittens doesn't even begin to touch the gravity of whats happened
and is a move best left for inconsequential shifts apart not monumental foundation shaking earth shattering circumstances

I would be willing to bet everyone in the home has a touch of ptsd (except for possibly the youngest)....ptsd is caused by something shaking your core belief system and slamming it on the ground a few time until life doesn't make sense
I cant imagine the horror, stigma, shame (unwarranted all) and sense of profound loss everyone feels
that your children should outlive you is a pretty solid part of most peoples belief system...only certain types of therapists work with ptsd well...and when they do its not comfortable therapy because its incredibly challenging

I NEVER saw pooping kittens when I was in love! ;-)

Yes agree on the PTSD, it's an under dx condition.
People make light of it

 

[shirlene29]

the problem is ...everyone is going to be at different stages...and everyone really needs their own shrink...then a group session...with everyone but maybe the 4 yr old...and maybe he needs to be included too
he probably knows everyone in the home is a little ...off compared to the rest of his world

 

[superqt4u2nv]

the problem is ...everyone is going to be at different stages...and everyone really needs their own shrink...then a group session...with everyone but maybe the 4 yr old...and maybe he needs to be included too
he probably knows everyone in the home is a little ...off compared to the rest of his world

Word ...

I see your point about the pooping kittens but I also think it's good to see that the therapist feels like there is something there to save and to get back to meaning there situation is not hopeless.

 

[shirlene29]

I dont think its hopeless....as long as everyone gets into some effective help


I was lucky ....having been dx-d years ago with acute ptsd that I got immediate help and had a close friend that watched my every move pretty much every waking minute
even luckier to have a green as grass optimistic therapist that put me through my paces with therapy and challenged my beliefs of the events

 

[Energy3]

Nah she's overcompensating out of guilt that she left more than likely trying to make the kids happy. He said his step daughter was crying all day she's probably just trying to figure out how to help them adjust.

How old are the kids Woody?

Accurate description ^^^^

Plus she's still feeling a strong sense of longing given you were with her for such a long period of time and will continue to be so as well

 

[WoodyO]

A lot of good people in this thread. Looks like I've got better friends here than IRL.

 

[wootoom]

A lot of good people in this thread. Looks like I've got better friends here than IRL.

Hey dude if you ever need to talk as I have been through it also. I'm here. Good to always talk with someone experience...wish I never had the experience and maybe you won't need it either....

 

[ceo]

woody, I'm sorry bro. I can't begin to imagine what you or any of your family are going through.

 

[nydj66]

The lawer freaked her out i guess. Sound like he was rushing her to get a restraining order, even though im not violent towards her or the kids. He had her bring in my recent w2, so I'm guessing he wanted to bleed me dry.

The lawyer was going to bait you. Get you pissed off so you do something stupid. If he can start a big fight it increases his billing hours. Mediation is the best way to go in divorce if you and the wife can be cool headed.

I really hope things work out for you and your family, I've been through something similar and I can tell you that it can work out.