I got angrier today than I ever have been in my entire life.

[nefertiti]

We're talking breaking out into a sweat, hands shaking, short breath, pure anger. And then I had to put a smile on my face and make nice small talk with one of the two sources of this anger.

I also think it's safe to say I am through wth organized religion. Not my faith, just the "church" in general. What a fucking crock of shit. There are some good priests out there...two of them being my parents who represent the little bit that is good about religion in my mind (and judging by all the crying by my mother's parishioners today at her last service before retirement, other people share this view). But organized religion is forever tainted to me. At a time in my mother's life when according to everything they preach about the church should have supported and craddled my mother through her struggle, they instead kicked her in the face in the cruelest way while she was down. The only thing stoping me from walking into the Bishop's office, throwing holy water on him and telling him I'm surprised it doesn't burn him like acid is the fact that my father is still an active clergy in the diocese and I don't want to make things more difficult for him.

Fuck, just typing this out again makes me want to hit something.

I've already been to the gym and blasted my body in an attempt to work out some of this anger but it didn't much help. Any other ideas?

(PS - for the inevitable "I thought priests couldn't marry and have kids" question, I'm episcopal, and we use the same language as catholics, but women can be priests, they can marry, have kids, etc)

 

[Jon79]

you want 1,000 k? i'm sorry

 

[heatherrae]

We're talking breaking out into a sweat, hands shaking, short breath, pure anger. And then I had to put a smile on my face and make nice small talk with one of the two sources of this anger.

I also think it's safe to say I am through wth organized religion. Not my faith, just the "church" in general. What a fucking crock of shit. There are some good priests out there...two of them being my parents who represent the little bit that is good about religion in my mind (and judging by all the crying by my mother's parishioners today at her last service before retirement, other people share this view). But organized religion is forever tainted to me. At a time in my mother's life when according to everything they preach about the church should have supported and craddled my mother through her struggle, they instead kicked her in the face in the cruelest way while she was down. The only thing stoping me from walking into the Bishop's office, throwing holy water on him and telling him I'm surprised it doesn't burn him like acid is the fact that my father is still an active clergy in the diocese and I don't want to make things more difficult for him.

Fuck, just typing this out again makes me want to hit something.

I've already been to the gym and blasted my body in an attempt to work out some of this anger but it didn't much help. Any other ideas?

(PS - for the inevitable "I thought priests couldn't marry and have kids" question, I'm episcopal, and we use the same language as catholics, but women can be priests, they can marry, have kids, etc)

Ohhhhh....I'm sorry. That stinks.

 

[nefertiti]

Jon...thanks...

Heather...we'll be ok, and more importantly my mom will be ok. Today was tough all around. A LOT of people were absolutely heartbroken that she was going to be retiring and I probably broke out into tears every time each one of them did (especially a teenage guy who absolutely lost it when he was giving her a hug goodbye). I also cried every time someone told me what a wonderful mother I have. It's nice to be reminded how lucky I am. When the archdeacon came over to say hello to me, I said something that would have made my father proud - "I'm going to pray for you." (even though I wanted to punch him in the face)

 

[Raptorex]

I'll be back later, I really want to talk to you about this, I am very sorry. I had an experience in my life with the Church and my parents, however it's important to separate this experience from your own faith.

Sorry

We're talking breaking out into a sweat, hands shaking, short breath, pure anger. And then I had to put a smile on my face and make nice small talk with one of the two sources of this anger.

I also think it's safe to say I am through wth organized religion. Not my faith, just the "church" in general. What a fucking crock of shit. There are some good priests out there...two of them being my parents who represent the little bit that is good about religion in my mind (and judging by all the crying by my mother's parishioners today at her last service before retirement, other people share this view). But organized religion is forever tainted to me. At a time in my mother's life when according to everything they preach about the church should have supported and craddled my mother through her struggle, they instead kicked her in the face in the cruelest way while she was down. The only thing stoping me from walking into the Bishop's office, throwing holy water on him and telling him I'm surprised it doesn't burn him like acid is the fact that my father is still an active clergy in the diocese and I don't want to make things more difficult for him.

Fuck, just typing this out again makes me want to hit something.

I've already been to the gym and blasted my body in an attempt to work out some of this anger but it didn't much help. Any other ideas?

(PS - for the inevitable "I thought priests couldn't marry and have kids" question, I'm episcopal, and we use the same language as catholics, but women can be priests, they can marry, have kids, etc)

 

[digimon7068]

At a time in my mother's life when according to everything they preach about the church should have supported and craddled my mother through her struggle, they instead kicked her in the face in the cruelest way while she was down.

what did they do (if you don't mind elaborating)??

 

[jh1]

Don't even get me started on this subject.

 

[Kano]

im sorry

 

[puddlemonkey]

I'm a little heathen so I'm just gonna grab my coat and leave. Carry on...

 

[nefertiti]

what did they do (if you don't mind elaborating)??

I can give a little more detail.

My mom had a breakdown last summer. She had some really really awful things happen to her just before she met my father that she supressed with years and years of giving herself to others. It's safe to say she is the quintessential mother, and that's how everyone in her church felt about her. Like she was their mother. Anyway, last summer we had to deal with something that brought up all of those repressed memories and my mother ended up in the hospital.

She and her vestry decided the best course of action would be to go on short term disability while she focused on getting herself back together. Several months ago, while my mom was still in an extremely fragile state, the bishop called her in for an appointment and told her that the vestry had gone to him and told him they wanted to move on to another priest, that they didn't want her to come back.

Initially I had been angry with them. How could they do something so cruel, to let her get blindsided by this when they knew all she was going through? I thought they were a bunch of chickenshit assholes. My mom avoided and avoided and put off talking to the vestry, I think because she was so hurt that none of them had come to her first and told her and explained their choice to her.

I asked my dad this morning, before I was supposed to see all these people, if she had ever spoken with them. He told me yes, and that they had never gone to the Bishop. The bishop lied, they still wanted her to come back. And then he had lied to the vestry and told them she wanted to retire. My mom had then made the choice that she didn't have the energy to do the work (it's a huge church and she used to do 80 hour weeks) anymore and that's when she (actually) chose to retire.

That sonofabitch lied to my poor mother and made her feel like shit when she was going through one of the most difficult times of her life, after all she has done for this diocese, and he's supposed to be a leader in the church? Fuck him.