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Your zingingest insult

75th

75th

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Mine has to be:

Talking to you proves that there are things worse than death.
Click to expand...

Or, if its a woman:

You would be a whore if you could find men who would let you.
Click to expand...
 
By the way, that 2nd one can apply to homosexuals as well. Adjust it accordingly.
 
The fact that you made a thread about insulting people has in turned insulted yourself, because you showed how much of an asshole you are.
 
eat big said:
The fact that you made a thread about insulting people has in turned insulted yourself, because you showed how much of an asshole you are.
Click to expand...
That one sucks. It has to be usable outside the boards.
 
I hope everybody realizes that this is all in good fun, and that none of the insults that have been or will be posted here should ever be directed towards another human being.

Thats why God created violence.
 
75th said:
I hope everybody realizes that this is all in good fun, and that none of the insults that have been or will be posted here should ever be directed towards another human being.

Thats why God created violence.
Click to expand...

:FRlol:
 
I think there's a lot of hurt in very honest words. I'm not sure if they're insults though. The most upset I've probably ever made someone was telling my husband that he's no different than all the men he hated growing up who beat up and mistreated his mom. He grew up and became the same thing.

I've never seen anyone so angry.
 
Actually, my dad is on steroids for asthma and has a temper. One time he told me "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out". I turned and looked at him and saw him shaking his finger at me seriously.
 
eat big said:
Actually, my dad is on steroids for asthma and has a temper. One time he told me "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out". I turned and looked at him and saw him shaking his finger at me seriously.
Click to expand...

I love that one.

My dad wasnt very creative, all he would ever say is "God damnit! or "God blessit!"
 
Winston Churchill was arguing with female member parliment and she got so pissed at him she said, 'Mr. Churchill, if i was your wife, i would poison your tea.'

He responed, 'Madam, if you were my wife, i would drink it.'
 
remember, take advantage of your adjectives. they are the spices for your words!
example: if you call someone a bitch, there's not much sting to it. but, adding words like cheap, filthy, & moronic pep up that average insult into something that might get you some tears.
 
ChefWide said:
Winston Churchill was arguing with female member parliment and she got so pissed at him she said, 'Mr. Churchill, if i was your wife, i would poison your tea.'

He responed, 'Madam, if you were my wife, i would drink it.'
Click to expand...


That one is really good. I like Winston Churchill.
 
ChefWide said:
Winston Churchill was arguing with female member parliment and she got so pissed at him she said, 'Mr. Churchill, if i was your wife, i would poison your tea.'

He responed, 'Madam, if you were my wife, i would drink it.'
Click to expand...

ZING!
 
Raina said:
I think there's a lot of hurt in very honest words. I'm not sure if they're insults though. The most upset I've probably ever made someone was telling my husband that he's no different than all the men he hated growing up who beat up and mistreated his mom. He grew up and became the same thing.

I've never seen anyone so angry.
Click to expand...
That hurts.

"I've become what I beheld and content that I've done right." - Wyatt Earp
 
I can tell that you're thinking by the tears.

Have you been dieting again? You don't seem to waddle as much.
 
"you sound like killahbee"
 
"You're Lonely"

"I tagged your wife"

"You fucked him didn't you. I mean that's how you get people to like you, right?"
 
ChefWide said:
Winston Churchill was arguing with female member parliment and she got so pissed at him she said, 'Mr. Churchill, if i was your wife, i would poison your tea.'

He responed, 'Madam, if you were my wife, i would drink it.'
Click to expand...

Another one attributed to him or maybe it was WC Fields.

Lady: You sir, are a drunk.
Him: Yes, but in the morning I will be sober, and you will still be ugly.
 
redguru said:
Another one attributed to him or maybe it was WC Fields.

Lady: You sir, are a drunk.
Him: Yes, but in the morning I will be sober, and you will still be ugly.
Click to expand...
Benny Hill had a bunch.

"sir, wouldn't you like to see your wife in something long and flowing"?

"Yes,.. a river"!
 
i just typed out what i said to this girl who irritated me greatly, but its not fit for the boards. it was an example of massive crudity and perfect timing. it makes the rest of this thread look G rated
 
Only real baseball fans will get this one

I was at a Diamondbacks vs Giants game last Saturday night in Arizona. There were tons of Giants fans, almost more than Arizona fans. Giants won. At the end of the game a lot of people headed to a bar right across from the B.O.B. All the Giants fans clamored there celebrating and giving each other high fives. Being the true blue Dodger fan that I am, and also drunk off my ass, I started booing them and giving the thumbs down. They were confused for a minute until they saw my LA hat, then they started heckling back. Anyways, after a while I started talking to a few of them and gained their confidence (atleast for conversation). A group of about 7 of them had gathered around me, all of us cracking jokes back to eahc other. Suddenly I said "Do you guys remember that one game" at this point they are all being very attentive, searching the memory vaults to prepare for whatever game I'm about to bring up, "when the Giants were close to getting into the playoffs, THEN FINLEY HIT A GRANDSLAM!!!!!!!!!, OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

I walked away cracking up while they stood there giving me the bird and throwing obscenities at me that I couldn't hear.
 
Women LOVE when a guy says, 'Congratulations! When are you due?"... when they arent pregnant.

--------------------------------------

At the office: 'What a great idea, who gave it to you?'

-------------------------------------

Subtle ones, 'You look tired, you o.k.?'

------------------------------------


Every time somebody walks in a room, exclaim, 'What IS that smell!?' after a week of this they will be in therapy


-----------------------------------------

Another lovely little ditty is to exclaim to the office asshole, 'WOW MAN! Congratulations on the promotion!' in front of the whole coffee room durring break. Then he gets to explain in front of everyone that he didnt get a promotion. Joy.
 
That's like telling someone who is jacked that they look quite fit but would look a lot better if they started working out.
 
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