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Young widows and widowers

S

SofaGeorge

New member
I know there are a few of us here, but I'm not sure how many (probably more than any of us realize.)

I know there is Star, Big4Life...

When you lose your spouse or S/O there are different categories that they put you in. Grief counselors say the most difficult category is the "young widows and widowers." We are the ones who in our 20s and 30s thought we had our whole lives to look forward to being together - and then that life, that person, is gone.

I lost my first fiancee to tragedy when I was 25. I lost the second woman I wanted to marry when I was 30. I lost my wife at 39.

How many others are here?
 
SofaGeorge said:
I know there are a few of us here, but I'm not sure how many (probably more than any of us realize.)

I know there is Star, Big4Life...

When you lose your spouse or S/O there are different categories that they put you in. Grief counselors say the most difficult category is the "young widows and widowers." We are the ones who in our 20s and 30s thought we had our whole lives to look forward to being together - and then that life, that person, is gone.

I lost my first fiancee to tragedy when I was 25. I lost the second woman I wanted to marry when I was 30. I lost my wife at 39.

How many others are here?
Click to expand...

Man, sofa I am so terribly sorry. And you seem to always be in a good mood. I couldn't handle life if I lost my spouse and to lose three that is just not fair. I will pray that you find someone you love that will out live you(after you both make it to a ripe old age. Once again I am so sorry. How did they pass if you can talk about it?

Code, I am sorry to hear about your lost too.
 
I lost my fiancee at 21 and I lost my husband at 27. DOT, life does go on. The only way to explain it is sort of like chapters in a book. That part of your life was a chapter.......most likely a beautiful, touching, heartfelt chapter but like all chapters it ends......some happily........some tragicly........and some are just a prologue to the next one. That really is the easiest way I have come up with to explain it.

Star
 
Star said:
I said it was like a chapter.........I never said the page was easy to turn.

Star
Click to expand...

That's the best way I could describe it to. One friend of mine's dad wrote to me after my wife died. He was a fighter pilot in WW2 and lost every close friend he had. He said:

"What I learned was that no matter what our tragedies - life continues to hold wonderful people to meet and interesting experiences to be had."

It's never easy, but your experiences with that person are part of what makes you who you are. They do live on through you and the other people's lives that you touched.

Funny part is, after losing three - everybody at the chess park refers to my girlfriend as "# 4."
 
My mom fits in your category. My dad got killed in an accident at work when he was 27. They dated from the time they were about 12 on. She is very strong. I think we all are from that. suppose that's why I am the way I am. I figure any moment can be my last and like to have everything on the table.
 
I don' t know if I speak for the rest of us when i say........Really, there is no need for the sympathies. I mean that in the kindest way possible. When I speak of it in chapters that truely is the best way to describe it. Just like a good book you truely love the ones that illicit the widest range of emotions in the most vivid way possible. Wether the emotion is love, sorrow, hate, or humor, you appreciate it for what it is and don't regret it. The alternative to not having lost my husband would of been to have never met him at all. That to me would of been an even greater loss. My book (life) has all the makings of one of the greatest novels of all time........love, tragedy, mystery, and suspense.......I truely can't put it down because I can't wait to see what happens next.

Star
 
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Star said:
I don' t know if I speak for the rest of us when i say........Really, there is no need for the sympathies. I mean that in the kindest way possible. When I speak of it in chapters that truely is the best way to describe it. Just like a good book you truely love the ones that illicit the widest range of emotions in the most vivid way possible. Wether the emotion is love, sorrow, hate, or humor, you appreciate it for what it is and don't regret it. The alternative to not having lost my husband would of been to have never met him at all. That to me would of been an even greater loss. My book (life) has all the makings of one of the greatest novels of all time........love, tragedy, mystery, and suspense.......I truely can't put it down cause I can't wait to see what happens next.

Star
Click to expand...

I've got to add that I feel that same way regarding the sympathies - but probably for a reason most people don't understand (and unfortunately - you need to experience it to know.) When you lose your spouse you get drowned with people's kind sympathies - and then for the longest time every time you walk back into the gym - into a restaraunt where you used to go, etc... it's the same story. You actually start getting a bit self conscious about everybody feeling sorry for you - and they miss that even though you are sad for having lost them - at least you had that person in your life.

My wife was a bit of a legendary character. She was brilliant, gorgeous, and saw the world through a very unique perspective. She was a true one of a kind... and she loved me as much as a person could. I was with her for 10 years...although we were only married for a month and two days before she died.

After she died, Gregory Hines walked up to me at the gym. He motioned out to all the people working out on the floor (and Gold's Venice is BIG.) He said, "There isn't one person out there who has experienced what you had for 10 years. They'd all give anything for one day of what you had, and you had it for 10 years."

He was one of the few people who got it.

Life comes in chapters. We are each an epic in the making, and we are each characters in other people's novels. You are blessed for the time you had with that person. When it is over - you have to go on, live again, love again, laugh again as best you can.

In time you even feel almost whole again.
 
I would not trade a minute of the time I had with Cathy for anything in this world. Yes, there are times even today when I will start to cry, because of something triggering a memory. Whether it is a certain smell, a sound, a song, almost anything that might remind me of her in someway shape or form. But there are more times where I will smile or even laugh because of a memory of her, and that is the way that she would want it. She was always full of life and energy and I know that she would kick my but if she thought that I was not getting the most out of my life because of my saddness over her passing.


You never get over it. Like star said, it's a chapter in a book, you manage to get through it, somehow, but it's never easy. Your friends try to help you, but there's only so much kindness that you can take, you just need to grieve and deal with all the emotions that come with your loss.
 
i cannot even begin to imagine the strength it must take to survive such great losses, sofageorge, star, big4life, code. i admire your courage, strength, and will to move on and find happiness in life.
 
Star said:
give her more than a hug.........she atleast deserves multiple orgasms.............

Star
Click to expand...


Definitely a way to woman's heart and soul! I'll try that angle tonight! :lmao:

This thread, although sad and depressing and upbeat all at the same time, is a wonderful thread. I never knew there were that many people here that have lost a loved one. My condolences and respect go to you all at the same time. I could not imagine what it would be like without my wife with me to enjoy our kids. I would hope I would find the strength to continue but I know it would be very difficult. She completes my life and to lose her would be unthinkable.

Thanks everybody for sharing!
 
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