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- Thread starter musclemom
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mrplunkey
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Nope... you missed that one badly. You're 23 now, so you haven't experienced what happens next. I said this once before, but let me say it one more time. It isn't that you just don't know what you don't know... you don't know that you will someday learn that you don't know what you don't know. I'd love to see your philosophies 20 years from now -- they will be quite different.KaitlinJRob1982 said:
You are your parents "baby" in your early years (as you are now). Then, there *should* be a point where you differentiate yourself from your parents and become your own person. At that point, a healthy parent will re-define their role as your friend and no longer your parent. For some it comes very early (i.e. 18-21)... whereas for some it comes late. For me, it was around my late 20's, but I was working in the family business up until then and I believe that postponed my differentiation.
My mother and I routinely talk about how much relief she feels now that our relationship is shifted. She no longer feels responsible for me... I'm responsible for myself now. It's actually funny to watch her reaction from me at 38 teasing her about finding a 6' 5" black woman who can kick my ass at basketball as being the goal of my next romantic conquest
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Spartacus
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I think a lot has to do with the age your parenst were when thye had you.mrplunkey said:Nope... you missed that one badly. You're 23 now, so you haven't experienced what happens next. I said this once before, but let me say it one more time. It isn't that you just don't know what you don't know... you don't know that you will someday learn that you don't know what you don't know. I'd love to see your philosophies 20 years from now -- they will be quite different.
You are your parents "baby" in your early years (as you are now). Then, there *should* be a point where you differentiate yourself from your parents and become your own person. At that point, a healthy parent will re-define their role as your friend and no longer your parent. For some it comes very early (i.e. 18-21)... whereas for some it comes late. For me, it was around my late 20's, but I was working in the family business up until then and I believe that postponed my differentiation.
My mother and I routinely talk about how much relief she feels now that our relationship is shifted. She no longer feels responsible for me... I'm responsible for myself now. It's actually funny to watch her reaction from me at 38 teasing her about finding a 6' 5" black woman who can kick my ass at basketball as being the goal of my next romantic conquest
Those parents that had their children relatively young(18-22) never really developed an identity of their own,and then became parents. IMO these younger parents will cling to the idea of being a parent far longer if not forever.
I've dated many women in thier late 30s with children that they had at a young age
some of them even addressed me as if I was one of their children
it was a subtle thing
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Spartacus
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