You humans are morons

[Buddy_Christ]

I went to buy a chainsaw today and was checking out the availible models. A salesman came over to talk to me. He pointed to the warning label that said "Do not touch chain while chainsaw is on. Serious injury or death may occur." Then he said, "sir, make sure you heed the warnings. Have you ever seen what a chainsaw can do to flesh?"

My reply - Why yes, yes I fucking have, and it gives me a raging hard-on. It makes me fucking horny. What do you think I plan on using it for?!

He shut up and let me finish browsing in peace.

 

[Mr. dB]

You should use it on him first.

 

[Spartacus]

butt munch you can do better than that

 

[Lestat]

C-

 

[Buddy_Christ]

butt munch you can do better than that

Yes I can, but then it gets locked and deleted and no one sees what I posted.

Looks like you have to settle for mediocre threads from me.

 

[Spartacus]

Yes I can, but then it gets locked and deleted and no one sees what I posted.

Looks like you have to settle for mediocre threads from me.

he's down below mid-page
we can make this thread survive
let's work together bro

 

[H_T_]

let's tell "The first time i got a VD stories". let keep it classy and stick with crabs and the clap. syphllis is just too nasty to repeat in good company.

 

[Spartacus]

no need for digger here
this thread will die

 

[Buddy_Christ]

he's down below mid-page
we can make this thread survive
let's work together bro

Yes, we can make this thread survive, but death is much better, especially when it comes slowly, painfully, like when you turn someone into a human dart board using a nail gun from 15 feet (yes, with a good nail gun, it works).

Tying someone up, taping their mouth shut, shoving nose plugs deep into their nostrils, and giving them a large tracheotomy is always pleasant. Funneling fire ants in there makes for one hell of a good time.

 

[H_T_]

i think her name was Jessica.........

 

[Buddy_Christ]

i think her name was Jessica.........

Did you spit on her after you paid?

 

[Dunk]

not only is the thread weak but its a lie.

no whammy no whammy no whammy STOP!!!

(lands on Oderus_Urungus's thread)

 

[Dunk]

he's down below mid-page
we can make this thread survive
let's work together bro

ill give him a sympathy bump.

 

[Buddy_Christ]

ill give him a sympathy bump.

To match the bumps on your dick from that transvestite hooker you got last month?

 

[Dunk]

To match the bumps on your dick from that transvestite hooker you got last month?

i wore 17 condoms asshole.

 

[silverfish]

This won't die.

 

[Buddy_Christ]

i wore 17 condoms asshole.

Is that what it takes for you to accomplish some form of girth?

 

[Dunk]

Is that what it takes for you to accomplish some form of girth?

Nice attempt at fooling everyone that you are trying to battle the champ but im not fooled. All i see in your posts is a form of bumping your wack ass thread. Cuz that's what you are. Wiggidy WHACK!!!

(Read my User Title)

 

[jackangel]

the day i tried to live

 

[Buddy_Christ]

Nice attempt at fooling everyone that you are trying to battle the champ but im not fooled. All i see in your posts is a form of bumping your wack ass thread. Cuz that's what you are. Wiggidy WHACK!!!

(Read my User Title)

Read mine.

You know you want some of that.

 

[Whiskey]

This thread is definitely getting saved into my "biggest piece of shit" folder.

Whiskey

 

[Buddy_Christ]

This thread is definitely getting saved into my "biggest piece of shit" folder.

Whiskey

EliteFitness.com Discussion Boards Message

You must spread some Karma around before giving it to Whiskey again.

 

[Dunk]

Read mine.

You know you want some of that.

Just say bump from now on. Its ok.

 

[Buddy_Christ]

Just say bump from now on. Its ok.

I'll stop posting after you do.

 

[Dunk]

I'll stop posting after you do.

Didnt you say you were going to retire from EF after 14,000 posts?

 

[Buddy_Christ]

Didnt you say you were going to retire from EF after 14,000 posts?

No, I said I'd suck you off after 14K posts.

 

[H_T_]

Did you spit on her after you paid?

i've never paid for tang. but i did give your mom a dollar to get off my lap once.

 

[wootoom]

damn that avatar is geigh

 

[Spartacus]

I'm speechless

 

[w84me]

I can't believe I read the whole thing ... 8 seconds that I will never get back

 

[Buddy_Christ]

i've never paid for tang. but i did give your mom a dollar to get off my lap once.

That was a dollar well spent.

 

[H_T_]

That was a dollar well spent.

i wanted change. she never came back.

 

[*MissFit*]

i wanted change. she never came back.

I guess she needed it more than u

 

[H_T_]

I guess she needed it more than u

she needed a dollar more than she needed me??? is that possible? i am so worth more than a dollar. i got skillz. mad skillz. i can do this thing with my tongue, it's like..........nvm.

 

[Whiskey]

This turd keeps coming out of the ass. Will it ever end?

Whiskey

 

[Buddy_Christ]

This turd keeps coming out of the ass. Will it ever end?

Whiskey

Don't forget to jiggle the handle.

 

[Dunk]

Don't forget to jiggle the handle.

You spelled "bump" wrong

 

[Buddy_Christ]

You spelled "bump" wrong

Go ahead, keep it up, see what happens.