Cleaner, it is waaaaaaay more complicated than two stubborn parents. Actually, I take that back, it is not. I would stop everything now, try my damnedest to forgive (of course, I would need forgiveness also, there were no victims - only volunteers) and work through it if there was even A GLIMMER of hope that he was ready to deal with his issues. I waited thirteen long years..the bottom line is when I saw how negatively my daughters were affected, I made the decision that if he did not want to change - I WOULD.....and so far, everything he says and does ONLY CONFIRMS that I made the proper decision. My nine year old asked me not too long ago, "Mommy, if you had called the police back when ------- you mean, this whole thing could have been over by now?" (meaning the divorce) I said, "Probably." To which she answered, "Well then why didn't you?"
From the mouths of babes. I thought I was doing the right thing by doing things "quietly" w/out the authorities as I did not want my children's father portrayed in a negative light in front of them (even at this point I was defending him).....Goes to show how little I know.
As for you Cleaner, I can not begin to express how glad I am that you and your wife have such respect for each other. You obviously chose each other wisely. Just remember that we all make mistakes. Not all people's situations are exactly what you THINK they might be.
Good health to you and your wife! I wish only continued respect, patience and friendship; a long and happy life together.
