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Why is it that you just can't tell a girl you have a crush on her?

fyxgel

New member
Why is it that you can't just go up to a girl and tell her you have a crush on her, or that you like her?

or why can't you just tell a lot of other people that you like her?

Like I want to... but there's this quelling uneasiness inside that prevents me from doing so. Why is this?
 
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I just think to myself, "No woman is truly worthy." and tell them. However, I always hit on them before any real crush can develop so it hasn't come up since I was nineteen.
 
Why is it that you just can't tell a girl you have a crush on her?

Because that would be an unwise thing to do. Most girls will get scared and emotional, and will try to make a male girlfriend out of you, or give you the "I'm not ready for relationship, blah blah......". You're a man, not a wimp, keep your shit inside :o
 
BTW, I would never tell her that I had a crush on her. Find some time to spend with her as friends(but don't get pigeon holed as a friend) and let her see how other women are interested in you before you make your move(bars are great for this). Never, ever, ever tell her you have a crush on her because she gains instant power. Develop it like a normal relationship.
 
juve said:
Why is it that you just can't tell a girl you have a crush on her?

Because that would be an unwise thing to do. Most girls will get scared and emotional, and will try to make a male girlfriend out of you, or give you the "I'm not ready for relationship, blah blah......". You're a man, not a wimp, keep your shit inside :o

you must spend a lot of time alone LOL
 
JavaGuru said:
BTW, I would never tell her that I had a crush on her. Find some time to spend with her as friends(but don't get pigeon holed as a friend) and let her see how other women are interested in you before you make your move(bars are great for this). Never, ever, ever tell her you have a crush on her because she gains instant power. Develop it like a normal relationship.


bullshit, nothing wrong with approacing a woman and saying you are interested in getting to know her. Just dont' pledge your undying love that's all.

Do you know how many attractive, normal woman are out there and alone because guys dont have the balls to approach them?

No wonder so many guys on this board are alone all the time.
 
JavaGuru said:
BTW, I would never tell her that I had a crush on her. Find some time to spend with her as friends(but don't get pigeon holed as a friend) and let her see how other women are interested in you before you make your move(bars are great for this). Never, ever, ever tell her you have a crush on her because she gains instant power. Develop it like a normal relationship.

its funny, I've asked this question before to friends, and it seems like I get a mixture of replies, and the same thing is happening here as well.

some people say, "life is too short, go for it and do it!" others say "no, no, please dont tell her that, it will make you look weak (because you cant hold it in) and it will also give her power over you"

sigh... what do I do...
I hear strong arguments for both sides of this,

and in either decision you could be shooting yourself in the foot.
 
fyxgel said:
its funny, I've asked this question before to friends, and it seems like I get a mixture of replies, and the same thing is happening here as well.

some people say, "life is too short, go for it and do it!" others say "no, no, please dont tell her that, it will make you look weak (because you cant hold it in) and it will also give her power over you"

sigh... what do I do...


fuck that weakness bullshit, you are weak if you dont' approach the woman. If she rejects you so what, you aren't her type, you go on to the next one that is. Its not personal.

Nice and weak are two entirely different traits.

A woman only has power over you if you let her and vice versa.
 
Bigdawg1468 said:
fuck that weakness bullshit, you are weak if you dont' approach the woman. If she rejects you so what, you aren't her type, you go on to the next one that is. Its not personal.

Nice and weak are two entirely different traits.

A woman only has power over you if you let her and vice versa.

Word.
 
Bigdawg1468 said:
bullshit, nothing wrong with approacing a woman and saying you are interested in getting to know her. Just dont' pledge your undying love that's all.

Do you know how many attractive, normal woman are out there and alone because guys dont have the balls to approach them?

No wonder so many guys on this board are alone all the time.

Exactly. Just let them know you are interested, don't walk up to a strange woman and say something stupid like "I'm in love with you". Be casual, but give her your complete attention.
 
fyxgel said:
Why is it that you can't just go up to a girl and tell her you have a crush on her, or that you like her?

or why can't you just tell a lot of other people that you like her?

Like I want to... but there's this quelling uneasiness inside that prevents me from doing so. Why is this?


You can't tell her because she would make you her bitch boy. She will take advantage of you and dangle her poonhtang from a string making you think you'll get it one day but you really won't... Ever.
 
I'll say just 1 thing:
I've gotten more girls by alternating acting like i dont give a shit with acting like a like them (fucking with their minds) than i have by coming right out and saying "i have a crush on you".

Girls are stupid, stupid creatures, and you must control the situation in such a way that you force them to act the way you want them to.
 
Bigdawg1468 said:
you must spend a lot of time alone LOL

I'm curious as to how you deduced that from my reply - consulted a crystal ball?

In any case, I was not addressing the issue of approaching an a girl, but divulging your feelings towards her. There's an inherent and very discernable difference between the two :o
 
Big Rick Rock said:
You can't tell her because she would make you her bitch boy. She will take advantage of you and dangle her poonhtang from a string making you think you'll get it one day but you really won't... Ever.


I mean you can't tell her as in don't go up to her and say "I have acrush on you".... If you like her than kick some game to her and see what develops... be laid back and don't let her see you sweating her.
 
Lift Chief said:
I'll say just 1 thing:
I've gotten more girls by alternating acting like i dont give a shit with acting like a like them (fucking with their minds) than i have by coming right out and saying "i have a crush on you".

Girls are stupid, stupid creatures, and you must control the situation in such a way that you force them to act the way you want them to.

That works on a woman say up to early 20's mabye, a mature woman, good luck.

If she falls for those games she ain't worth having.

No need to say you have a crush, just say you would like to get to know her. It ain't that hard and the bullshit games aren't necessary. I played them like everyone else when young, whata waste of time.
 
Bigdawg1468 said:
That works on a woman say up to early 20's mabye, a mature woman, good luck.

If she falls for those games she ain't worth having.

No need to say you have a crush, just say you would like to get to know her. It ain't that hard and the bullshit games aren't necessary. I played them like everyone else when young, whata waste of time.

Yeah i'm in my early 20s, so that's probably why... no one likes games but at this age they're unavoidable, unfortunately.
 
Lift Chief said:
Yeah i'm in my early 20s, so that's probably why... no one likes games but at this age they're unavoidable, unfortunately.

yea at that age both sexes are all about the games most of the time. Just be a better player.
 
I'm female, grown and I admit that I am paralyzed by fear now to admit when I like a guy.

I was never that way when I was younger.

I don't know exactly why I am that way...

scratch that, yes I do.

Even though I get approached more than enough, I admit that I have a terrible fear of being rejected. It is just that I know I will be rejected eventually (lot of complications come along with me) so I choose to stay alone.

But for someone who is young and has their whole life ahead of them, it is just plain silly to not admit you think someone is cute and would like to get to know them better. What is the worst that will happen?

Grow some balls man! :D
 
fyxgel said:
Why is it that you can't just go up to a girl and tell her you have a crush on her, or that you like her?

or why can't you just tell a lot of other people that you like her?

Like I want to... but there's this quelling uneasiness inside that prevents me from doing so. Why is this?

One word...

Lawsuit.
 
I never implied you shouldn't approach and express an interest, you'll know right away if she's interested if you pay attention to her reactions and body language.The worst mistake you can make with a woman is to fall over them, nothing easily gained is ever valued. Never let them know you want to get serious quickly, even if you think you do because you don't. It takes at least two or three months to really know if you really are compatible and why would you restrict yourself to dating one person when you don't even know if they're right for you. Let her know you're interested but keep it casual, even if you have to hide your excitement. Another thing is that universal with women is they like a challenge, which is why being too interested off the bat almost enver works unless she's looking for a man. Nothing easily gained is EVER valued. Not that this applies to you but it's worthwhile for the older guys. I've actually found from women I know or have dated in their 30's and early 40's that they are very phobic about getting serious. Most have at least have or have had one "booty call" to take care of their intimacy needs without the burden of a relationship. They have a lot of baggage and can be very cynical and jaded, which also goes for men.
 
JavaGuru said:
Another thing is that universal with women is they like a challenge, which is why being too interested off the bat almost enver works unless she's looking for a man. Nothing easily gained is EVER valued. Not that this applies to you but it's worthwhile for the older guys. .

So this is why people play games with each other?
 
hanselthecaretaker said:
So this is why people play games with each other?
Yes. Think about it, do you value something you had to work for and didnt know for sure if you were going to have it until you earned it? Or did you value something you had given to you right off the bat with no effort whatsoever put into it?
 
fyxgel said:
Why is it that you can't just go up to a girl and tell her you have a crush on her, or that you like her?

or why can't you just tell a lot of other people that you like her?

Like I want to... but there's this quelling uneasiness inside that prevents me from doing so. Why is this?

Fear of rejection and embarrassment. Maybe also pride.
 
MsBeverlyHills said:
word :)

dont worry- same goes w/women...I would only tell a guy I have a crush on him if im EXTREMELY drunk!

Yes, I am far more bold with a few drinks in me, or when I'm hiding behind a computer screen. :)
 
fyxgel said:
Why is it that you can't just go up to a girl and tell her you have a crush on her, or that you like her?

or why can't you just tell a lot of other people that you like her?

Like I want to... but there's this quelling uneasiness inside that prevents me from doing so. Why is this?
You should approach her somehow. Saying "I got a crush on you, when I think a bout u i tuch myself" is generally gay and unattractive..

If you are straight-forward, you better make it interesting and be like Tony Montana - "You a tiger...".

In reality, there are usually much better less direct ways of going about the entire thing. It is not just about fear. If you really have balls, you will think of better ways of hooking her. These can be provocative, but are a bit more interesting and do not lack game like the "I wan chu so bad babay!" approach.

Example: Invite her out with some friends and find something you can use to interact with her. Actions mean a lot more than words.
 
Things are different for me because I know that it will never last... I try to ignore this fact and start out meeting someone but then always chicken out and cancel the date... or I just won't reply to emails anymore.... and I make myself extremely unapproachable when I am out. I don't go to bars or clubs. In the gym, I know all the men watch me but I am in and out in like 45 minutes and am usually annoyed.

I do it on purpose because if I let a guy in and start to like him he will end up rejecting me - period.

It's ok though. I am accepting it... just every now and then I get a little sad. It is virtually impossible for me to be "just friends" with a guy because eventually he will want sex (or I will LOL) and then someone will get hurt, blah, blah, blah...

I have enough difficulty already. Don't need added stress.

The rest of you get up and out and meet people... It can be a ton of fun.
 
fyxgel said:
Why is it that you can't just go up to a girl and tell her you have a crush on her, or that you like her?

or why can't you just tell a lot of other people that you like her?

Like I want to... but there's this quelling uneasiness inside that prevents me from doing so. Why is this?

this was the big problem back in the day, when passing the note

"Do you like me--- yes or no--- check the box"

cos she might check the no box
 
hey bor aint nothing to it but to DO it. sure you can get burned bad, i know i have, but who gives a fuck eh? just do it is what i say
 
Werd said:
Things are different for me because I know that it will never last... I try to ignore this fact and start out meeting someone but then always chicken out and cancel the date... or I just won't reply to emails anymore.... and I make myself extremely unapproachable when I am out. I don't go to bars or clubs. In the gym, I know all the men watch me but I am in and out in like 45 minutes and am usually annoyed.

I do it on purpose because if I let a guy in and start to like him he will end up rejecting me - period.

It's ok though. I am accepting it... just every now and then I get a little sad. It is virtually impossible for me to be "just friends" with a guy because eventually he will want sex (or I will LOL) and then someone will get hurt, blah, blah, blah...

I have enough difficulty already. Don't need added stress.

The rest of you get up and out and meet people... It can be a ton of fun.

Wow, that's a horrible attitude, sounds like you've been hurt before. You just need to be able to trust people. Sure it allows you to be hurt, it's happened to me more than I admit, but when it works out it REALLY works out. It's worth the risk.

My outlook when it comes to dating is this: if I never try to make it work, it never will. If I try and it fails because of her, then at least I know it wasn't my fault. If it works, then disco we both win.

Kind of my outlook on life in general actually...
 
Forge said:
Wow, that's a horrible attitude, sounds like you've been hurt before. You just need to be able to trust people. Sure it allows you to be hurt, it's happened to me more than I admit, but when it works out it REALLY works out. It's worth the risk.

My outlook when it comes to dating is this: if I never try to make it work, it never will. If I try and it fails because of her, then at least I know it wasn't my fault. If it works, then disco we both win.

Kind of my outlook on life in general actually...

:sick: :sick::sick: :sick::sick: :sick::sick: :sick:
 
Forge said:
Wow, that's a horrible attitude, sounds like you've been hurt before. You just need to be able to trust people. Sure it allows you to be hurt, it's happened to me more than I admit, but when it works out it REALLY works out. It's worth the risk.

My outlook when it comes to dating is this: if I never try to make it work, it never will. If I try and it fails because of her, then at least I know it wasn't my fault. If it works, then disco we both win.

Kind of my outlook on life in general actually...

I know it is a horrible attitude, one that I can admit. But when you have a lot on your plate anyways, the last thing you need is to risk being rejected when you finally feel "safe" enough to open up. It happens to me all the time... Heck, I can't even maintain a friendship because people just don't know what to say to me when I open up (got a lot of inescapebale unpleasantness in my life and I don't know how to handle it mentally so I just choose to remain alone). Even the cyberones don't work out...

When people ask the question, "How are you today?" They get kind of tired about hearing about sad things. So I have just stopped talking....

But for the rest of you - go out and live life. Me, I am satisfied to live it alone. I have a good family and that is enough for me. :)
 
This comes from my perspective but I think a lot of games come from the fact people want control in the relationship or if you're into Seinfeld call it "hand." I'm used to being in the drivers seat and I like it. Up until three weeks ago I hadn't been rejected in a dating relationship since 1993. I've always been the dumper and not the dumpee. The problem arises when I date another control person, it's a constant power struggle and the game playing rises to epic proportions. Ironically, these are the women I'm most attracted too.
 
Another thing I've noticed in my own relationships is that every serious relationship had a major relationship obstacle we overcame and it brought us to another level. Which also lends credence to my nothing easily gained is ever valued.
 
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