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seaking420
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...............
Why is divorce looked down upon so much
- Thread starter seaking420
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milo hobgoblin
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by whom?
worked out well for me.. twice
worked out well for me.. twice
needtogetarmy
CEO of Project Mayhem
The mere fact this question has been posed shows how far down the spiral society has fallen.
Bikini Mod
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Actually one is only looked down upon if they are a divorced WOMAN. If you have children then you are not only a tramp but also "damaged goods". If you are a divorced man everyone "feels sorry for you because a whore got half your stuff". If you are a single dad then everyone REALLY feels badly for you.
Go figure.
I stopped worrying about that shit looooooooooong ass time ago when I decided that I would rather be happy than worry about what a bunch of dumbshits think.
Go figure.
I stopped worrying about that shit looooooooooong ass time ago when I decided that I would rather be happy than worry about what a bunch of dumbshits think.
seaking420
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Well its like being in a bad statistic..........hey johnny up the block, yeah he's been divorced once before...........
what do you mean
mrplunkey
New member
#1 Don't ever care what anyone else thinks.seaking420 said:
#2 The circumstances are really what people care about. If your divorce involved scandal, got aired-out in public and/or turned into a perpetual fight for years then yeah, some people are going to turn their noses up.
#3 Avoid situation #2... if you have to do it then do it, but do everything the right way.
all the whey
New member
Getting married young and without an education should be looked down on.
Because divorce is a direct contradiction to so called traditional values. The biggest hypocrites around espousing traditional values are usually the ones that shouldn't speak in the first place as they failed the very values they are bleating about.
Overall divorce is looked at as someone making a bad/rash/inappropiate decision in the first place. Or else someone that is such a terrible person the other person involved would leave them. Or various other stigmas along those lines.
Overall divorce is looked at as someone making a bad/rash/inappropiate decision in the first place. Or else someone that is such a terrible person the other person involved would leave them. Or various other stigmas along those lines.
milo hobgoblin
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BIKINIMOM said:Actually one is only looked down upon if they are a divorced WOMAN. If you have children then you are not only a tramp but also "damaged goods". If you are a divorced man everyone "feels sorry for you because a whore got half your stuff". If you are a single dad then everyone REALLY feels badly for you.
Go figure.
I stopped worrying about that shit looooooooooong ass time ago when I decided that I would rather be happy than worry about what a bunch of dumbshits think.
I hate to say it.. but you can thank the court system for that.. but we've had this discussion.
and "half your stuff" is a little conservative in California.. most guys I know lost their houses and cars and live in a apt.
Bikini Mod
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milo hobgoblin said:
Hey... feel ya. But guess what orbly, that happens to women too. As long as you got your kids, it's ok though. What happens when they take your kids too?
Happens to good mothers all the time.
Sucks like a motherfucker when it happens to the dads, no doubt. But when it happens to good mothers it is even more horrific for the children. And it happens all the time, you just never hear about it because of the stigma of shame.
Either way, I've seen it happen to others and lived it myself - both mothers and fathers. When children are involved the only true victims are the children and the big fat corrupt thieving piece of shit judges, attorneys, "experts" who are to have the children's best interest are busy lining their pockets while fucking the kids.
But hey... such is life.
Welcome to the United States where justice prevails until bankruptcy occurs.
Bikini Mod
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AAP said:
^^ What he said.
all the whey
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AAP said:
That is usually why.
Bikini Mod
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You know, we were all young and dumb once. MOST of us have been guilty of that. The real problem occurs is when those that were young and dumb continue on to be old and dumber, venomous, sick and twisted. We gots an AWESOME family court system that feeds on that shit like bacteria on that red gel in a petri dish.
seaking420
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very true
all the whey
New member
That is just it.BIKINIMOM said:
Being young and dumb is not an excuse to get married and pump out kids. (not saying YOU are using it as excuse)
Why can't people just fucking wait to marry and breed????
Bikini Mod
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all the whey said:
I admit I fucked up on MANY levels. My parents were VERY upset with me for leaving school and marrying my ex.
all the whey
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BIKINIMOM said:
Again I didn't mean YOU.
Just that we shouldn't pat some young couple on the back when they want to get married.
mrplunkey
New member
all the whey said:
Well, sometimes you feel indestructible at that age. A lot of people marry right out of school -- especially if they've had a positive school experience and think academic success and professional opportunity are in any way linked to interpersonal success.
all the whey
New member
mrplunkey said:
There is a million reasons why young people get married.
I am just saying it should be looked down on. Instead of saying "congrats!" Then, saying behind their back "omg they are soo young"
mrplunkey
New member
Smurfy said:
True but a lot of it is divergence. If you marry at 15, you're going to be different people 10x over by 80. Now if you marry at 45, when you won't be changing as much (either one of you...) then you're got much better chances.
Its hard to fault someone for diverging from someone else if they marry at 20 versus diverging at 50.
needtogetaas
New member
Bm. As smart and well lived a women as you are. I find it hard to believe this came from you.BIKINIMOM said:Actually one is only looked down upon if they are a divorced WOMAN. If you have children then you are not only a tramp but also "damaged goods". If you are a divorced man everyone "feels sorry for you because a whore got half your stuff". If you are a single dad then everyone REALLY feels badly for you.
Go figure.
I stopped worrying about that shit looooooooooong ass time ago when I decided that I would rather be happy than worry about what a bunch of dumbshits think.
Not every man looks at divorced women like this. Not every person looks at single fathers or divorced men like that ether.
The world is filled with hate filled judging people. If you are a single mother then yes you will see the world side of hate and judging it has for a single mother. If you are a single father then you get to see that side.
Its no peachy for ether party.
How man of my guy friends would want to come over and hang out with me and my kids. It can be a lonely road for both men and women. You are the last person I would expect to see this from.
all the whey
New member
Smurfy said:
This is what girls have told me.
Most guys said they were just pussy whipped then not so happy when that well went dry.
all the whey
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Smurfy said:
You are on a roll tonight!@
needtogetaas
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Not really if both parties work to reach there goals together. Angel was a high school drop out. Threw our marriage she has gotten her cna,ma,lpn,and rn. I have risen to the top of my field, wrote a book, and branched out into a lot of big things with a lot more I would like to get don.all the whey said:
The problem happens when one helps the other to reach all her goals, then that one is not willing to stand with the other well he gos for his goals. What I am saying is selfishness kills marriage.
all the whey
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Smurfy said:
No I was not patronzing you!
needtogetaas
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Sex is not everything. My wife and I have great sex 4-5 times a week at least.all the whey said:
Bikini Mod
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See now, explain this to me, no matter how much the Old Grump gets ass and regardless of how good it is, he is always bitching that it isn't enough.
What THE HELL's a body to do?
What THE HELL's a body to do?
needtogetaas
New member
She will be next month when she passes her final license exam.Smurfy said:
she passed all her classes with a 3.3 and she is all don except for the this last exam.
BIKINIMOM said:See now, explain this to me, no matter how much the Old Grump gets ass and regardless of how good it is, he is always bitching that it isn't enough.
What THE HELL's a body to do?
ok, you really wanna know?
pocket pussy and energizer... its wonderful
lol
all the whey
New member
needtogetaas said:
Rut Roo
Grumpy Old Man
Grumpy Old Biker Bastard
Paul_Allen said:
Well when you grow up and have 5 ex wives then call me and stop being a sissy.
I really miss my Cobra, 365GTB, 355F1, boats and houses, 1914 Maxwell, 32, packard well you know the drill.
Bro I feel you! I wish I could make it better.
needtogetaas
New member
Um well I really don't know. Her medical assistant was a certificate, her lpn was a Associates so I am guessing her rn would be a Bachelors. I know it was easy for her to get because of how she went step by step like that though.Smurfy said:
Wait a sec. You have 5 exwives and got married again??Grumpy Old Man said:Well when you grow up and have 5 ex wives then call me and stop being a sissy.
I really miss my Cobra, 365GTB, 355F1, boats and houses, 1914 Maxwell, 32, packard well you know the drill.
Bro I feel you! I wish I could make it better.
Wow. You're the most committed person I've ever 'met'.
Keep the faith.needtogetaas
New member
well I know she did clinicals. I had to watch the kids when she went to them. As for it being a 4 year Program thats not true for her. You would know what I mean if you had went to school for medical assistant then lpn and then went rn after. The classes and courses all role into each other and over lap. Yes going fro nothing to rn would take 3-4 years. Its takes a hell of a lot less time going from having a MA and LPN to a RN.Smurfy said:
Doing it the way she did it it took her 6-8 years to finely get her RN though. SHe just did it in short burst rather then all at once. Each time she went up a pay grade lol. Kind of worked out well.
needtogetaas
New member
Yes as a matter of fact a few places emailed her today about a job. Good luck to her and I am happy for her to.Smurfy said:
I got a big job offer myself just today. It would be a change in field for me in real life but along the same lines as what I do here. In fact this place contacted me because of the work I do here. I am toying with the idea right now.
My plan was to get out of the executive chef business once my wife got her RN,my book started selling and some other things lined up. Now I have this new thing to think about. It would not hurt an of the other things I am trying to do. In fact I think it could help a lot.
I guess I am starting to think about if I would end up missing the work I do now. I run to places now. This new job would have me running a whole district.
doesn't really matter if Angel's an RN or BSN, the pay isn't much different. There's a shortage of nurses, so she can work as much as she wants too. And, no one will care when hiring her if she has an associates RN or her BSN. Nurses can pretty much call their own shots to some degree. See if Pat McCrotch jumps in on this one...
Razorguns
Well-known member
Who's looking down? Ethnic cultures, like muslims, hindus, buddhists?
I don't know anyone looking down - I can't fathom staying in a stressful, loveless, depressing marriage as a good thing.
As for dating prospects - who cares. If women don't like guys like me not wanting to date divorced women w/baggage. That's our right. Just like it's your right to be proud of who you are.
r
I don't know anyone looking down - I can't fathom staying in a stressful, loveless, depressing marriage as a good thing.
As for dating prospects - who cares. If women don't like guys like me not wanting to date divorced women w/baggage. That's our right. Just like it's your right to be proud of who you are.
r
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EnderJE said:Wait a sec. You have 5 exwives and got married again??
Wow. You're the most committed person I've ever 'met'.
lol@committed
The rest of us call it "slow learner"
AztecWarrior
New member
People are making less out of that situation. Divorce happens all the time now.
seaking420
New member
Absolutely right, they like to sugar coat things. Or they think...."ahhh they are in love"
A woman that speaks the truth
seaking420
New member
dam grump...............you have 5 ex wives.....how much alimony a month do you pay.
I think the people who look down upon it are the old schoolers......the ones that say you suck it up, you make it work(when theres children involved)
I think the people who look down upon it are the old schoolers......the ones that say you suck it up, you make it work(when theres children involved)
all the whey
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PuddleMonkey said:
Yeah.
He should be committed.
calveless wonder
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all the whey said:
+1111111111111111111111
Bikini Mod
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seaking420 said:
No alimoney they just took half of A LOT.
And ya'll know the drill. I am not the one who initiated marriage here - HE WAS.
I didn't even want a bf. All I wanted was an arrangement. But when he offered me a relationship and then asked me to marry him I don't know why but not only did the notion not repulse me (I would get panic attacks at THE THOUGHT of looking at wedding rings.) but it seemed like a good idea so I said, "OK."
It's sorta funny but the tone of his voice when he says the words, "MY WIFE." I dunno.... he has a very commanding voice. When he says it you can hear him beaming. Makes me feel very special... and everyone is VERY AWARE how special I am to him.
It's a lot of work, but what in life that is worth having comes easily?
I joke (sorta) when I say that I am a truly selfish bitch unlike his first 5 wives in that I won't settle for half - I WANT IT ALL... and dammit, I will have it.
I also say that I wish I could send cards to all 5 of his ex's first to say, "Thank you" for breaking him in properly and then to say, "Thank you" for fucking it up 'cause now I get to have IT ALL.
The people who are looking down on divorce are usually the older generation. Which to them may still be an alien concept. They pretty much were probably raised that you got married, stay married, died a widow. Sort of like back when they got a job. You worked that one job your whole life never changing.
Womens right movements brought to the front that women can think for themselves and not be condemned or ridiculed for it. Divorce was no longer a man's option. This led to an increase in divorce rates.
The younger generation was raised in an enviroment of higher divorce rates, thus look upon it as a way to start over, try again, give it another shot, get ride of the bitch, etc... all reasons that the older generation never could grasp.
Womens right movements brought to the front that women can think for themselves and not be condemned or ridiculed for it. Divorce was no longer a man's option. This led to an increase in divorce rates.
The younger generation was raised in an enviroment of higher divorce rates, thus look upon it as a way to start over, try again, give it another shot, get ride of the bitch, etc... all reasons that the older generation never could grasp.
Bikini Mod
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AAP said:
^^ What he said.... well said indeed.
Turd Ferguson
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I would say that is a bit of a streach and a generalization. I had a girl date me once untill she found out that I was divorced. Then she told a friend I must be a dick because my ex dumped me for someone else.BIKINIMOM said:Actually one is only looked down upon if they are a divorced WOMAN. If you have children then you are not only a tramp but also "damaged goods". If you are a divorced man everyone "feels sorry for you because a whore got half your stuff". If you are a single dad then everyone REALLY feels badly for you.
Go figure.
I stopped worrying about that shit looooooooooong ass time ago when I decided that I would rather be happy than worry about what a bunch of dumbshits think.
Bikini Mod
New member
Turd Ferguson said:
There are exceptions to every rule.
But how many times have you seen a woman post on elite that "a single father is damaged goods" ? Yet many Many MANY males have posted it ad nauseum.
Bottom line is this - we are all free to decide our own criteria for what we find desirable in a mate. Are we not? So why stress over what those who do not fit OUR CRITERIA think?
I don't know how men feel (getting away from the comments I made above) but I do very clearly remember feeling a tremendous sense of shame when I HAD TO call it quits on my marriage. In conversations with other divorced mothers (don't know if this holds true w/women who didn't have children) WE ALL INITIALLY FELT ASHAMED and hid that we were divorcing from everyone including our peers.
Do men feel this way initially? Or is it just the women?
Bikini Mod
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Hey, I feel you... I was just curious to know if men felt the same way in the same circumstance or if this was a purely *female* way of looking at it.
Razorguns
Well-known member
BIKINIMOM said:
I know I fall into the same trap - but don't generalize. Men and Women all don't think alike. Most of the bozos on this board, are men, but I think nothing like them. They like gay beers, and I like milkshakes for example.
I look down on people who don't have their shit together in life, or post really stupid posts. Divorcee, etc. is irrelevant.
r
people should always do what makes them happy but I dont think a lotta people think marriage through before getting married. It always the "im so in love we are gonna be together forever crap". People dont realize that you are vowing to stay with this person for the rest of your life. That is a huge committment and many people don't think this through. Forever is an extremely long time and you better be damn sure that you wanna spend that much time with that person or its gonna end in divorce
Razorguns
Well-known member
chris350 said:
Or stupid bonehead chicks that keep allowing cocks without condoms to keep entering their bodies. Then 10 years later are living in a ghetto or trailer park, 3 kids, on welfare, baby daddy's long gone, and now purely raising tomorrow's drug dealers and walmart employees.
r
Feminism destroyed the family unit. Capitalism is more important.
Basikstylz
New member
I haven’t read the thread so I don't know if anyone said this...
I read something to this affect in another thread I think it was the "gays can marry in CA" thread.(sorry I looked but cant find the exact quote, I'm lazy)
I believe AAP said something like this.....
Marriage is looked at as religious, not a joining of a couple for "legal/tax" reasons.
Therefore when you divorce it goes against religious beliefs causing people to look down on it.(from what I've been told its frowned upon in most religions... I don't want to claim this is 100% true with out actually knowing the religions stance.)
If marriage was looked at as a civil union (is this the right term?) of two people for legal reasons not religious reasons Divorce would not be as looked down upon.
That doesn't mean that it still wouldn't be a pain in the ass to go through a divorce...
Anyways... I don't know if that makes sense or if I'm just rambling....
I read something to this affect in another thread I think it was the "gays can marry in CA" thread.(sorry I looked but cant find the exact quote, I'm lazy)
I believe AAP said something like this.....
Marriage is looked at as religious, not a joining of a couple for "legal/tax" reasons.
Therefore when you divorce it goes against religious beliefs causing people to look down on it.(from what I've been told its frowned upon in most religions... I don't want to claim this is 100% true with out actually knowing the religions stance.)
If marriage was looked at as a civil union (is this the right term?) of two people for legal reasons not religious reasons Divorce would not be as looked down upon.
That doesn't mean that it still wouldn't be a pain in the ass to go through a divorce...
Anyways... I don't know if that makes sense or if I'm just rambling....
needtogetaas
New member
ef is a far stretch from the real wold.BIKINIMOM said:There are exceptions to every rule.
But how many times have you seen a woman post on elite that "a single father is damaged goods" ? Yet many Many MANY males have posted it ad nauseum.
Bottom line is this - we are all free to decide our own criteria for what we find desirable in a mate. Are we not? So why stress over what those who do not fit OUR CRITERIA think?
I don't know how men feel (getting away from the comments I made above) but I do very clearly remember feeling a tremendous sense of shame when I HAD TO call it quits on my marriage. In conversations with other divorced mothers (don't know if this holds true w/women who didn't have children) WE ALL INITIALLY FELT ASHAMED and hid that we were divorcing from everyone including our peers.
Do men feel this way initially? Or is it just the women?
fistfullofsteel
Well-known member
i don't look down on divorce. sometimes it is the best choice. i have no love for retards who don't try to work things outs, but that's different.
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