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Why Does It Seem That Everyone Always Complains

InquisitivePsyche said:
About marriage? I thought it's supposed to be a great thing. :worried:
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divorce rate....
btw, STOP MAKING THREADS n00b.
 
youngguns said:
divorce rate....
btw, STOP MAKING THREADS n00b.
Click to expand...
Divorce rates mean nothing. The only reason people *think* they have increased is because 10 years ago or so, it was SHUNNED. Stigmatized completely so no one reported divorce. So there really isn't a huge different except for the fact that people are being more outspoken, these days.

AND - I've only made 3 threads since I joined (one of which has a shitload of posts). Why does that bother you? Hmmm...
 
Wootoom said:
not everyone does
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Good. Because I think if you're with the right person and you two have a shitload of fun together.. what could be any better? Just my thoughts... if you get bored... perhaps you aren't with the right person?? Not sure.. can't say from experience..
 
me and my 8 year girlfriend broke up b/c my shit stank too bad
 
InquisitivePsyche said:
Divorce rates mean nothing. The only reason people *think* they have increased is because 10 years ago or so, it was SHUNNED. Stigmatized completely so no one reported divorce. So there really isn't a huge different except for the fact that people are being more outspoken, these days.

AND - I've only made 3 threads since I joined (one of which has a shitload of posts). Why does that bother you? Hmmm...
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Divorce rates are part of the public record, you can't get a legal divorce without going through the courts and I know they've been tracked since 1945. Here is a link; http://ph.state.al.us/chs/HealthStatistics/Tables/2002/AVS02_77.htm

In 1946 the US divorce rate was 4.3/1,000 and in 2001 it was 4.0/1,000.
 
You're still very young. When you get old and jaded like some of us, you won't need to ask this question.
Marriage is weird!
 
JavaGuru said:
Divorce rates are part of the public record, you can't get a legal divorce without going through the courts and I know they've been tracked since 1945. Here is a link; http://ph.state.al.us/chs/HealthStatistics/Tables/2002/AVS02_77.htm

In 1946 the US divorce rate was 4.3/1,000 and in 2001 it was 4.0/1,000.
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Many did NOT get a divorce even though they wanted because of fear of being stigmitized. Many were not legal divorces, btw. :)
 
blueta2 said:
You're still very young. When you get old and jaded like some of us, you won't need to ask this question.
Marriage is weird!
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True I guess. But I've also heard the opposite. That's it's wonderful if you are with the person you want to be with. I think you can say that anything could possibly be weird, you know?

I just wonder if people would rather be married or stay single? I guess if you want to sleep around being single is your thing but if you're looking for more.... ?
 
InquisitivePsyche said:
True I guess. But I've also heard the opposite. That's it's wonderful if you are with the person you want to be with. I think you can say that anything could possibly be weird, you know?

I just wonder if people would rather be married or stay single? I guess if you want to sleep around being single is your thing but if you're looking for more.... ?
Click to expand...
If people think about the future there would be a lot less divorces.
 
InquisitivePsyche said:
Many did NOT get a divorce even though they wanted because of fear of being stigmitized. Many were not legal divorces, btw. :)
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Then they weren't divorced, just seperated..... Many still don't get a divorce because of religious/cultural pressures. The divorce rate was still over 2.0/ 1,000 in the 1950's, leave it to beaver nuclear family myth. Ironically, Self-proclaimed "born again" Christians have the highest divorce rates among Christians. Among Judeo-Christian faiths Jews have the highest, followed by Catholics and then Protestants.
 
InquisitivePsyche said:
True I guess. But I've also heard the opposite. That's it's wonderful if you are with the person you want to be with. I think you can say that anything could possibly be weird, you know?

I just wonder if people would rather be married or stay single? I guess if you want to sleep around being single is your thing but if you're looking for more.... ?
Click to expand...


When ppl marry young, what they don't realize is we change. We change a lot. Mostly, people grow apart. Love has only a small portion of what marriage is about.
I say, people should only marry in their 30's. This gives you a chance to get to know who YOU ARE
 
JavaGuru said:
Then they weren't divorced, just seperated..... Many still don't get a divorce because of religious/cultural pressures. The divorce rate was still over 2.0/ 1,000 in the 1950's, leave it to beaver nuclear family myth. Ironically, Self-proclaimed "born again" Christians have the highest divorce rates among Christians. Among Judeo-Christian faiths Jews have the highest, followed by Catholics and then Protestants.
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I'd like to see where all these stats are coming from because there's definitely more than one recording for research purposes. :)
 
blueta2 said:
When ppl marry young, what they don't realize is we change. We change a lot. Mostly, people grow apart. Love has only a small portion of what marriage is about.
I say, people should only marry in their 30's. This gives you a chance to get to know who YOU ARE
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I can see that. But, when I marry it will definitely have to be because of love and nothing else. That's just how I am. I don't care about money, conveinence, etc. I can do all of that on my own. This is why I don't plan on getting married anytime soon - I want to at least be near finishing up my Doctorate... no rush - nothing. In my opinion, I think marriage is about being in true love with that person and wanting to spend the rest of your life with them. That's the only reason I will marry - if that's not there, then I am not marrying that person. :)
 
I think everyones problems with marriage have a lot to do with Heather's Karma Messages being read.
 
InquisitivePsyche said:
I can see that. But, when I marry it will definitely have to be because of love and nothing else. That's just how I am. I don't care about money, conveinence, etc. I can do all of that on my own. This is why I don't plan on getting married anytime soon - I want to at least be near finishing up my Doctorate... no rush - nothing. In my opinion, I think marriage is about being in true love with that person and wanting to spend the rest of your life with them. That's the only reason I will marry - if that's not there, then I am not marrying that person. :)
Click to expand...

Most ppl have the same intentions......to marry for love. I thought I was going to be with my ex forever. I really did love him, but as an older woman, I look back and go ewwwwwwww!
We change..take your time. Date a lot, live alone, get to know you. Make marriage the least of your worries
 
blueta2 said:
Most ppl have the same intentions......to marry for love. I thought I was going to be with my ex forever. I really did love him, but as an older woman, I look back and go ewwwwwwww!
We change..take your time. Date a lot, live alone, get to know you. Make marriage the least of your worries
Click to expand...
Marriage is definitely the least of my worries but I am not one to date "a lot." My first boyfriend was at age 20 (2 yrs ago) and I am still with him and I cannot predict the future but I know I'm dead in love with him. He's older - 33 but I like the fact that he's much more mature than most men that age and in the 20's, you know? He's had his fun, done that, and me, I'm not the type to "have fun," in the same sense. I'm very conservative, I guess. But, I will take in your advice seriously because I definitely do believe that.. peoples intentions are for love and then things change.. scary thought!
 
InquisitivePsyche said:
Marriage is definitely the least of my worries but I am not one to date "a lot." My first boyfriend was at age 20 (2 yrs ago) and I am still with him and I cannot predict the future but I know I'm dead in love with him. He's older - 33 but I like the fact that he's much more mature than most men that age and in the 20's, you know? He's had his fun, done that, and me, I'm not the type to "have fun," in the same sense. I'm very conservative, I guess. But, I will take in your advice seriously because I definitely do believe that.. peoples intentions are for love and then things change.. scary thought!
Click to expand...


when I said "date alot" I didn't mean sleep around. I mean just meet lots of ppl, go out, see what you really want.
Age difference is not an issue with me, but again, you are both in diff places in life. Though you do seem very mature for your age.
Just take your time :-)
 
InquisitivePsyche said:
I'd like to see where all these stats are coming from because there's definitely more than one recording for research purposes. :)
Click to expand...
They were compiled from the US Government CDC (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention). The religious rates came from a study published by The Barna research group, a pro-Christian group that was actually attempting to show having a "faith based" marriage would lower the chance for divorce. Needless to say, their findings shook the foundation of the religious right who couldn't dismiss the study as "secular lies." Atheists actually had the lowest divorce rate.
 
blueta2 said:
when I said "date alot" I didn't mean sleep around. I mean just meet lots of ppl, go out, see what you really want.
Age difference is not an issue with me, but again, you are both in diff places in life. Though you do seem very mature for your age.
Just take your time :-)
Click to expand...

Yeah that's what I figured. LOL. I know you didn't mean sleep around (definitely something I would never do) but it seems when I date (even though I only have once - hehe) I date for AWHILE. LOL. It's been over 2 years we've been together so imagine ... if I meet a lot of people and what not.. that could take a long time for me to truly learn what I want in a marriage. Hehe. But I totally understand what you're saying. I will definitely take my time. No need to rush. :) I am in dead love though right now. I think I actually liked it better a few years ago when I knew NOTHING whatsoever about love. So the saying goes... "what you don't know about can't hurt you."
 
everyone always complains about everything. if you find someone that doesn't, report him to the authorities. he cannot be trusted.
 
postulate this
suppose our average life spans were double,say you live till about 150
and stretch the aging accordingly(like your physically 20 at 40)

would anyone make it?
get married at 22 and go 120 years married for example

I partially think the only way it works is the couple has kids and pairs with the child rearing
then by the time the kids leave the nest they're pushing and/or are in middle age and the physique might not be up to dating standards
so the couple remains married and sort of hangs on till the end
 
It's not marriage as an institution that's failing, it's the people who choose to enter into such a union that fail. People make poor decisions especially when it comes to matters of the heart. Even the most intelligent people in the world fuck up when it comes to love. A monogomous life-long relationship is not for everybody.
 
youngguns said:
divorce rate....
btw, STOP MAKING THREADS n00b.
Click to expand...


LMAO @ you calling anyone a n00b around here..




Um.. the #1 reason peeps complain about marriage = it is teh Suck.

Don't even get started with me. Don't.
 
Smurfy said:
It's not marriage as an institution that's failing, it's the people who choose to enter into such a union that fail. People make poor decisions especially when it comes to matters of the heart. Even the most intelligent people in the world fuck up when it comes to love. A monogomous life-long relationship is not for everybody.
Click to expand...
Totally agree. It definitely isn't for everyone and that's totally ok. :)
 
IP...are you psychic? That would be sweet.
BTW, do you like the nickname IP?
--------------------------------------------

* Either people made a mistake marrying, or
* They don't put enough effort into the relationship
* It requires continual attention, like a flower
* Sunshine, norturing, work, basic survival,
and a solid loving base
* Married people tend to pay TOO MUCH
attention to work, house chores, etc and
TOO LITTLE attention to the marriage.
* And their is the chance that a couple thought
they were in love, and they were in fact not "meant"
to be together.

last bullet is disputable...
 
InquisitivePsyche said:
Divorce rates mean nothing. The only reason people *think* they have increased is because 10 years ago or so, it was SHUNNED. Stigmatized completely so no one reported divorce. So there really isn't a huge different except for the fact that people are being more outspoken, these days.

AND - I've only made 3 threads since I joined (one of which has a shitload of posts). Why does that bother you? Hmmm...
Click to expand...
LOL since you were what 12, ten years ago, and I was..well skip that, I can tell you with certainty "shunned" was even not in our vocabulary unless you are Amish. That concept was back in the 50's and beyond. "Shunned" lmao!
 
radarstoy said:
LOL since you were what 12, ten years ago, and I was..well skip that, I can tell you with certainty "shunned" was even not in our vocabulary unless you are Amish. That concept was back in the 50's and beyond. "Shunned" lmao!
Click to expand...
I'm sorry - it wasn't 10 yrs ago but it definitely wasn't only in the 50's. Perhaps 10 wasn't accurate but I assure you, it was well after the 50's, 60's, and even 70's. Yup- I was 12.
 
jh1 said:
LMAO @ you calling anyone a n00b around here..




Um.. the #1 reason peeps complain about marriage = it is teh Suck.

Don't even get started with me. Don't.
Click to expand...

not all are the suck.
I've been in one that was
and i've been in one (now) that is great. since i'm always awesome, well.. there is nothing else. i'm always awesome.
 
InquisitivePsyche said:
I'm sorry - it wasn't 10 yrs ago but it definitely wasn't only in the 50's. Perhaps 10 wasn't accurate but I assure you, it was well after the 50's, 60's, and even 70's. Yup- I was 12.
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How can you assure me if you weren't even a glimmer in your mommies eye? I'd quite while I was ahead, I got a purse older than you! :)
 
radarstoy said:
How can you assure me if you weren't even a glimmer in your mommies eye? I'd quite while I was ahead, I got a purse older than you! :)
Click to expand...
Hehe. Just because I wasn't around back then doesn't mean it isn't a subject matter that I couldn't cover. I remember taking a course specifically on Contemporary Family problems in today's society and divorce was one area that was covered and I remember having this discussion about it.

Must have been a damn good purse to be almost 23! LOL. :)
 
InquisitivePsyche said:
Hehe. Just because I wasn't around back then doesn't mean it isn't a subject matter that I couldn't cover. I remember taking a course specifically on Contemporary Family problems in today's society and divorce was one area that was covered and I remember having this discussion about it.

Must have been a damn good purse to be almost 23! LOL. :)
Click to expand...

LOL yeap it's one of my favorites :)
 
Most people complain about all the things they choose to do for the wrong reasons or without appropriate planning and consideration.
 
Spartacus said:
postulate this
suppose our average life spans were double,say you live till about 150
and stretch the aging accordingly(like your physically 20 at 40)

would anyone make it?
get married at 22 and go 120 years married for example

I partially think the only way it works is the couple has kids and pairs with the child rearing
then by the time the kids leave the nest they're pushing and/or are in middle age and the physique might not be up to dating standards
so the couple remains married and sort of hangs on till the end
Click to expand...
Absolutely, doubling lifespan and slowing the rate at which the human body deteriorates would undoubtedly change the sociological structure of society.
For those that have the formula right an extra 60 years of marriage would be a gift.
For those who have it wrong, they might see it as a life sentence or as you pointed out, a second chance.

The media is set on magnifying break-ups, divorce settlements, custody battles etc. It’s all negative bullshit focusing on people at their lowest.
Those one cannot live without the other couples amaze me where one dies and without their partner the other fades away and dies shortly after. I’m sure they've found something that most never even glimpse. I'm sure they'd appreciate another lifetime together.
 
InquisitivePsyche said:
About marriage? I thought it's supposed to be a great thing. :worried:
Click to expand...

you'll never hear me complain. . .been the best 14 years, 8 months and 19 days of my life. . .zero regrets. . .how-zat?? :)
 
digimon7068 said:
you'll never hear me complain. . .been the best 14 years, 8 months and 19 days of my life. . .zero regrets. . .how-zat?? :)
Click to expand...
9 years 5 months 7 days for me! Being together...
And
5 years 10 months and 12 days or some thing like that being married
God I am smart
 
InquisitivePsyche said:
Divorce rates mean nothing. The only reason people *think* they have increased is because 10 years ago or so, it was SHUNNED. Stigmatized completely so no one reported divorce. So there really isn't a huge different except for the fact that people are being more outspoken, these days.

AND - I've only made 3 threads since I joined (one of which has a shitload of posts). Why does that bother you? Hmmm...
Click to expand...

What country do you live in? Divorce hasnt been shunned in the US since around the 1970's.
 
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