Why do some people not even try to fend for themselves??

[smt]

So frustrating, I just don't get it.

 

[blueta2]

explain

 

[BNG]

Some are weak in every way.

 

[smt]

A friend of mine has a 21 year old son. He lives completely off of her and his younger brother. Never buys food, doesn't help with rent for his apartment, and is ALWAYS asking for money from anyone that he thinks might give it to him. I told her that he needs to learn to take care of himself and needs a job to help support himself, afterall, he is 21. So.... he gets a job in a liquor store and one week into it, quits going to work b/c of severe back pain and says he needs steroid shots. Low and behold, the back pain is forgotten about and now he says that his feet hurt too bad and so he can't walk. Calls me this morning and says it may be Rheumatoid Arthritis and he needs to get on disability. I'm no doctor but I've seen him and he's fine. Feels good enough to run around with friends and goof off with his girlfriend.
This isn't the first job he's been in and out of. It happens ALL the time. I was sympathetic to this a few years ago, but it's a broken record now. I am just beside myself...

 

[blueta2]

Maybe he suffers from anxiety disorder and finds it tough to function in the "normal" world.
Most people are not lazy, there is usually something behind it.

 

[H_T_]

he'll catch on, eventually.....21 is still very young. and incredibly dumb.....

 

[BNG]

Weak personality. Some hunger may have a way of developing some.

 

[blueta2]

It doesn't mean he's weak?!
That's like saying people in wheelchairs are weak or people with cancer are weak.
Weakness is when you don't look for answers for your drawbacks.

 

[smt]

he'll catch on, eventually.....21 is still very young. and incredibly dumb.....

I hope so. His mother falls for it every time. He can sleep like no one I have ever known in my life. It could be 2:00 in the afternoon before he gets out of bed only to go lay on the couch. I'm sure there are other things behind it like Blueta says but I also think that he is manipulating the situation and has confidence that his mother and younger brother won't let him end up with out food and a place to live. They're even making his car payment and giving him gas money. I think it's disrespecful to put that kind of burden on other people to take care of him when they struggle to take care of themselves as it is. He is used to being taken care of for sure.

 

[BNG]

It doesn't mean he's weak?!
That's like saying people in wheelchairs are weak or people with cancer are weak.
Weakness is when you don't look for answers for your drawbacks.

Not even close to the same. Cancer and disabilities are affliction type things that your personal make-up can not change nor effect a change. One of the strongest personalities I know is in a chair. He has more moxy than most.

This young man is able bodied but has no reason to do anything for himself. His needs have always been met by others. He is crippled in his own way in that he can't function on his own. But his lack of motivation to fend for himself is a choice he's making.