where do you draw the line between

[fistfullofsteel]

being forgiving and not.


example, if a guy's woman cheats on him. one guy might be forgiving and keep on seeing her and another guy might not. not sure if forgiving is the right term here but i think you get the idea of what i am talking about.


where do you draw the line?

 

[Virtual Acid]

Sorry hun , but i think if your getting into a relationship with somone, cheating just shouldnt happen and if it does, well he's kicked to the curb, there's nothing i hate more than cheaters

 

[Silent Method]

I'd forgive her, thats for sure. It'd probably take a long time. Oh, and I'd never ever get back with her. Thats for sure as well. Forgivness and stupidity are two different things.

 

[fistfullofsteel]

no no no, nobody cheated on me. it was just an example.


another one, supposedly jesus christ of nazerth forgave his friend who sold him out to the romans. i am not sure if i would have. so how forgiving should a person be?

 

[Crazier]

another one, supposedly jesus christ of nazerth forgave his friend who sold him out to the romans. i am not sure if i would have. so how forgiving should a person be?

Of course he forgave him. Because Christ could see deeply, he could understand why his friend did that to him. Once you understand somebody's actions, you find forgiveness. Because you can not think deeply fist, because first hand you can't understand how you can forgive someone for such betrayal, you can not understand, and therefore you can not forgive.

Personally, I'd just tell her that it isn't fair... and I really like her friend so and so and want them to come over and get it on with us. Then, I'd fuck her friends while she watched. If she wasn't willing to cough up her friends to me, or at least one, because I couldn't understand her, it would be hard to forgive her.

Understanding is key to forgiveness. Without understanding you have confusion. With confusion in the way, you can't understand... therefore, you can't truly forgive.
--

 

[Silent Method]

Forgivness may just be the key to understanding.

Where do you draw the line? Philosophically and religiously I'd say you don't - it's not your line to draw. (This doesn't mean be blind stupid.) Speaking from a humanistic point of view, I'd find it very hard to forgive in many circumstances. I can imagine circumstances where I don't know if I could forgive. But I do know I'd rather not carry the hatred inside of myself.

 

[fistfullofsteel]

Of course he forgave him. Because Christ could see deeply, he could understand why his friend did that to him. Once you understand somebody's actions, you find forgiveness. Because you can not think deeply fist, because first hand you can't understand how you can forgive someone for such betrayal, you can not understand, and therefore you can not forgive.

Personally, I'd just tell her that it isn't fair... and I really like her friend so and so and want them to come over and get it on with us. Then, I'd fuck her friends while she watched. If she wasn't willing to cough up her friends to me, or at least one, because I couldn't understand her, it would be hard to forgive her.

Understanding is key to forgiveness. Without understanding you have confusion. With confusion in the way, you can't understand... therefore, you can't truly forgive.
--

didn't jesus's friend sell him out for money? let's just say you do understand and the reason sucks, then what?

ummm, once again, nobody cheated on me. it was hypothetical.

 

[PHATchik]

We're supposed to forgive people anything. But that's not the easiest thing in the world. I definitely have problems with it. I say forgive, but not necessarily forget. I know that isn't exactly the attitude we're supposed to have. But it's for my own protection, so it works.

 

[Silent Method]

didn't jesus's friend sell him out for money? let's just say you do understand and the reason sucks, then what?

ummm, once again, nobody cheated on me. it was hypothetical.

For some reason, all the variables affecting Judas' decision led him to make the one that he did. It would seem that money was a motivating factor, but their were others. Would you sell out your brother for a bag of gold? How 'bout if you thought your brother was crazy, had been lying, not even your brother, and now was going to get you killed? I'm not defending Judas. Just something to think about.

 

[Crazier]

didn't jesus's friend sell him out for money? let's just say you do understand and the reason sucks, then what?

ummm, once again, nobody cheated on me. it was hypothetical.

I would imagine it was for money... greed, a powerful sin for sure. The point is if you can understand, fully... if you can look at the situation from the other persons, with whatever knowledge they had, you will be able to see why, in their mind, selling you out was okay. Once you can understand that reason, you can forgive. One of the hardest things, and the reason forgiveness is so hard, is to look at situations from all different angles. For instance, if your girlfriend cheated on you... why did she do it? Do you truly know? If you can't ever understand the reasoning, you can't forgive because you long for understanding. If you felt as she did though, felt her compassion and feelings, you'd understand why she cheated on you... and once you understand this reasoning, forgiveness is the only option. Unfortunately, not enough people can look past their own interests to see a situation clearly, without bias. Therefore, they are confused, and unforgiving.

Why are so worried if we think someone cheated on you or not? You've said it like 4 times man!
--

 

[fistfullofsteel]

We're supposed to forgive people anything.

so by that logic we should have forgiven/forgive Hitler for what he did?

 

[Silent Method]

Forgivness does not make any given act right. Say your girl cheats on you. NOTHING can make that right. Forgivness makes YOUR heart right.

 

[fistfullofsteel]

I would imagine it was for money... greed, a powerful sin for sure. The point is if you can understand, fully... if you can look at the situation from the other persons, with whatever knowledge they had, you will be able to see why, in their mind, selling you out was okay. Once you can understand that reason, you can forgive. One of the hardest things, and the reason forgiveness is so hard, is to look at situations from all different angles. For instance, if your girlfriend cheated on you... why did she do it? Do you truly know? If you can't ever understand the reasoning, you can't forgive because you long for understanding. If you felt as she did though, felt her compassion and feelings, you'd understand why she cheated on you... and once you understand this reasoning, forgiveness is the only option. Unfortunately, not enough people can look past their own interests to see a situation clearly, without bias. Therefore, they are confused, and unforgiving.

Why are so worried if we think someone cheated on you or not? You've said it like 4 times man!
--

greed is something i can understand but it's not acceptable. that reason sucks pretty bad.

i mention it because you keep on bringing it up.

 

[PHATchik]

Yes, by that logic, we are supposed to. I didnt' say it was easy or that it could even be done. But it's what we are supposed to do. However, we have an inability to forgive. Especially on something like that, and I think it is justified. However, we are still supposed to do it.

 

[fistfullofsteel]

so although they did something wrong and there can be no fault on me or anybody else, i am supposed to be forgiveful no matter what?

what if i keep on getting pissed on, should i still be forgiving?

 

[PHATchik]

The actual logic behind that is that you forgive them. And then you put it behind you. In other words, you don't dwell. Even if you keep getting pissed off, you keep forgiving them.

 

[Silent Method]

so although they did something wrong and there can be no fault on me or anybody else, i am supposed to be forgiveful no matter what?

what if i keep on getting pissed on, should i still be forgiving?

Part of not being blind and stupid is getting out of the situation in which your getting pissed on. Forgive, but don't be a pawn.

 

[fistfullofsteel]

Part of not being blind and stupid is getting out of the situation in which your getting pissed on. Forgive, but don't be a pawn.

so there is a number of times i should be forgiving, but if that is true then i am not supposedly forgiving people for anything.

 

[Crazier]

so although they did something wrong and there can be no fault on me or anybody else, i am supposed to be forgiveful no matter what?

what if i keep on getting pissed on, should i still be forgiving?

I think you need a better understanding of what the act of forgiving entails. As silent pointed out... forgiveness is what you feel in your heart. Forgiveness doesn't mean you allow your partner to continually cheat on you, and you sit there, continually getting pissed on for their actions.

Forgiveness does not make a person's actions right. Even when you have forgiven someone, a divorce or break up may still follow.

When you forgive, your heart no longer bleeds about the issue because you can understand. When you can't understand, your heart bleeds, as you urn for understanding. Once you find the understading, your heart forgives, and you no longer live in pain.

When Jesus forgave people, that didn't mean he thought they shouldn't have to face their consequences for the wrong doing they committed. Rather, you ease your pain by forgiving the person... and that other person has to deal with actions that are brought forth to him because of his act. It is specifically stated in the bible... Matt 18:21 'That's what my heavenly father will do to you if you refuse to forgive your brothers and sisters in your heart.'

In your heart bro... think deeply.
--

 

[JohnyJuice]

Beating them is the only true way to say "I forgive you".

 

[fistfullofsteel]

i have no control what he other person does. if they keep on doing it, should i still be forgiving.

 

[JohnyJuice]

i have no control what he other person does. if they keep on doing it, should i still be forgiving.

No. Forgive the first time. If they do it again, thy need a beating for a couple of reasons..
1. They were probably never sorry to begin with, they just said it to get out of the situation.
2. They knew it hurt you the first time and didn't care, so they did it again.
3. They are stupid. Stupid for doing it again and stupid for getting caught.

Fuck 'em

 

[fistfullofsteel]

let's go by the lexicon definition of forgive


forgive: 1. To grant pardon for or remission of (something) 2. To cease to blame or feel resentment against. 3. To remit as a debt. 4. To show forgiveness, grant pardon.

 

[Silent Method]

i have no control what he other person does. if they keep on doing it, should i still be forgiving.

Yes, you should forgive - but you should be smart enough to get out of the situation. Lets get specific here, what are you talking about? If your keeping yourself in a situation where your getting pissed on it would seem to me that you are a big part of the problem.

 

[toga22]

Forgiveness is an attribute only of the strong. And for those deeds in which you will never be able to forgive....you must forget. Otherwise, they will remain within you like an open wound...infecting your soul.

~toga

 

[fistfullofsteel]

Yes, you should forgive - but you should be smart enough to get out of the situation. Lets get specific here, what are you talking about? If your keeping yourself in a situation where your getting pissed on it would seem to me that you are a big part of the problem.

i am not talking about anything in particular. i was just wondering that is all. i wonder a lot. i also thought it would be a good topic to talk about. i am not looking for a specific answer. i just wanted some view points of others.


thanks for sharing.

 

[Thaibox]

Beating them is the only true way to say "I forgive you".

Thats not even a little funny shitbag

Anyway, if my girl cheats on me, she's gone. Forgiveness, bullshit, its called betrayal and destroying one's trust. If you forgive that, you're foolish

 

[Silent Method]

i am not talking about anything in particular. i was just wondering that is all. i wonder a lot. i also thought it would be a good topic to talk about. i am not looking for a specific answer. i just wanted some view points of others.


thanks for sharing.

Fair enough. Keep it up.

 

[Silent Method]

Anyway, if my girl cheats on me, she's gone. Forgiveness, bullshit, its called betrayal and destroying one's trust. If you forgive that, you're foolish

I think it's foolish not to forgive. If my girl cheated on me she'd be long gone. I'd forgive her, but that doesn't mean I don't understand what she did to me. I'm not sure you understand what forgiveess is. It's not saying "aww shucks, it's ok honey." Forgivness is a decision to clear your heart of hatred and poison.

 

[mechee]

it's a tough one, there are many circumstances that would affect whether or not to forgive-is it karma coming back @ you for some shit you did to someone, maybe you forgot about, or it could be, like someone said, that their reasons can justify why they did wrong and would make forgiving that person easier, i try to see everything in every possible way that i can just cause everyone doesn't share my views and vice versa.
to forgive is good but never forget-cause it'll happen again

 

[pigginsly]

Rise above the situation...

Negative thoughts get you know where...
They make you feel weighted...
Create positive revenge...
and bring yourself and that of the person or situation to a
Higher Understanding..
Any situation can be understood as long as you
understand it, squash it, and move on...
creating no compromising position..

At least try to be that way..
You feel better all around
and chalk it up to experience
and learn...