when should you be satisfied?????

[runner]

for those of you in a long-term relationship or married.... let's face it, your partner is not perfect, they surely don't meet every mental "requirement" you have or match up perfectly with your ideal mate.

if you meet available people who are interested in you who SEEM to meet almost all of your requirements, how do you decide whether to pursue something with that person?

if you've got a car you like, test driving a new model is okay, but with people a test drive means the end of something good...and in this scenario what you have IS good...

whaddya' do?

 

[Big Buck]

I'm going throught this EXACT thing right now.....I don't know what to do. Well, I'm off to the gym.....

 

[Freak Show]

No matter what you do you're taking a BIG risk. On one hand, you risk losing this long term relationship that you're comfortable with. That person is always there no matter what. You've always got them to count on for everything. However, if this other person seems like exactly what you're looking for you could miss out on POSSIBLY the best thing to ever happen to you. New relationships are fun, but there's no guarantee. They don't know what you love, what turns you on, what makes you happy, how to cheer you up, etc. You have to ask yourself, 'could you live with being wrong'? Unfortunately this isn't an answer but it may help you decide.

 

[flexed1]

Runner, nobody is perfect. Sometimes we forget why we have fallen in love with the person we are with and make mistakes we will regret the rest of our lives. i have had 3 long term relationships the last ending because I did steriods for my show after I promised I would not. I lost someone who in my mind was my soulmate forever. He has moved on as have I but either of us has found what we once had. That was love and dedication built on trust, words,a nd friendship. I can go out any night and meet the most wonderful person and think this is the one. Why? simply enough you can't find faults with someone you don't know but as time goes on you will realize that you gave up soemthing great for a feeling we all have when we first meet that special someone. LUST. Try to take your partner and think back to why you fell in the first place and have fun again. It works miracles.

 

[velvett]

There is no *ideal* mate and who's to say that idea of what is perfect won't change over the course of time?



When I hit the 6th orgasm and my eyes roll into the back of my head I'm pretty happy - perfection or not - relationships are always something to work at and are constantly evolving. What seems to be perfect at first or at a distance may just be an illusion of what we want to see.

Perfection is something no one can acheive and even if we/they do, how long can you maintain it?

Happiness is relative and rather personal - we all need to decide what is truly necessary to makes us happy within a relationship and where we choose place realistic standards for ourselves and for others.

 

[Mdguy]

Happiness is relative and rather personal - we all need to decide what is truly necessary to makes us happy within a relationship and where we choose place realistic standards for ourselves and for others.

Well said...it's unfortunate that most people don't consciously do this

 

[runner]

well, you're right velvett, there's no "ideal" mate, but surely you've got a list of things you'd like in your man.

ideally, i'd like someone who plays basketball and tennis, runs and lifts weights, loves watching a football game with me but is also equally comfortable checking out the art in the louvre or discussing civil war battles. of course, being good looking would be nice and being laid back/easygoing is a must for me. being asian is also a plus for me.

it's hard to find all of these qualities in someone (particularly in a gay man...athletes are hardly a dime a dozen) and when you meet someone who ON PAPER seems to be a great (perfect?) matchup, it sure gets you thinking about your current mate and relationship...

 

[WODIN]

I like velvettes description....

 

[AGENT SHAGWELL]

When you get to the point that you dont' wanna take anymore test drives, then you buy the car Untill that time your are still shopping.

 

[MkZk]

Well, I have someone now whom I've been with for 2 years. I know she's the one for me. We've been through a lot. Well, I guess you can ask yourself a few questions.

Would u give your life for her?

Would she?

Would you stay with her if something unfortunate happened to her and she be came an invalid?

Would she do the same if it happened to you?

Hey if the answer is a genuine yes to all of them, then I think it's safe to say that she's the one.

 

[Bull69]

Runner,
I am currently in this situation. I love my partner and in a lot ways we are perfect for each other. Recently someone else has come into both of our lives. We both are attached to this person emotionally, but I see that they are really much better suited for each other. I know that the love we hav e for each other is very strong, and I can not imagine my life without my partner, but I wonder if he is only staying with me, because what we have built with each other. At the same time I care deeply for this third in our relationship, but I know that they connect on a completely level than we do. I wish I knew the answer to your question.

 

[runner]

i hope you're not talking about may, bull.

in my case i just met this person for a weekend...and i have no real idea if he even likes me in that way, (we did nothing more than a hug goodbye), but just meeting him has got me doing too much thinking about whether i'm truly with the right person. i think part of the reason is that i was closeted and virtually (2 previous partners) celibate beforehand, so i've never really tested the waters, so to speak. i feel like i got a great catch, but i'm just not sold on it being the best one out there for me so i may always wonder...

 

[MattTheSkywalker]

so i may always wonder...

Whenever you choose to be with someone, you are choosing not to be with everyone else.

And no one person can be perfect...ever. Every married couple I have met says that their relationship involves a lot of WORK and constant COMPROMISE. In other words, you don't just meet the person and then stop trying. (You know this)

This is never an easy choice. I would say trust your instincts.

On a side note, I enjoy all of your interests. Do you have a sister? hee hee j/k and good luck.