Am I disappointed? I guess I could put it this way - yes and no.
I started lifting in 1996 but had never lifted before that. I was skinny and little - all I did was run and eat soup. I think I weighed 100lbs and had like 25% BF with no lean muscle to fat ratio. I lifted for 3 years and ate a clean diet and slowly grew. I wanted to compete in a BB show. I didn't take any AAS until 1999 - and then only a little. I never really put on that much muscle though, because I was still calorically deficient. I competed in many shows through the years, but still wasn't that muscular or sizeable. When I added about 1500 addt'l cals to my diet, and more AAS - I got up to 150lbs at 10%. I then went on to compete in the Pittsburgh and then the Jr Nat'ls in 2003. After that I retired from BB and stopped taking AAS to try to decrease the sides and started Powerlifting.
Man - did I go through a year long period of mental & physical hell.
Slowly feeling your body normalize (or find its true place) is a hard thing to watch. The pain, the unfelt injuries introduce themselves, the (after) side effects, the emotions...but I was never sorry that I did it. AAS helped me get to a place where I did things I wanted to do. I might not be powerlifting now had I never BB or used AAS.
I am stronger now in some lifts/exercises and weaker in others. I don't get the "nice guns" comments, etc. like I used to, but I don't get any freak stares either. I am healthier now and more feminine.
Others have said you can't compare yourself to others. That is the most important comment in all of this. The hardest obstacle I had to overcome is NOT comparing myself to others or to myself....my former AAS supplemented self.

__________________
Mythicwrld
"We deceive ourselves when we fancy that only weakness needs support. Strength needs it far more."