Please Scroll Down to See Forums Below
napsgear
genezapharmateuticals
domestic-supply
puritysourcelabs
UGL OZ
UGFREAK
napsgeargenezapharmateuticals domestic-supplypuritysourcelabsUGL OZUGFREAK

When did your life start to have meaning?

Bobber

Bobber

New member
I am 22 and have never had more doubts about what is going to happen to me or if I will ever actually leave my mark on this world than right now. Even when i was younger i had some kind of idea as to what route my life would take me down but it seems as I get older the outcome becomes more and more vague. To all you old people, when did everything come together for you. How did you end up where you are at now and above all are you happy?
 
I'll chime in on this one even though i'm not much older than you (26), nor am i completely "content". however, i am in a much better place than i was. What caused the change? what brought more happiness in my life? I finally decided that it was time to look out for me and do something that would make me happy instead of worrying about what others wanted me to do or felt i should. here's a brief synopsis:
i graduated from college with honors. moved to a city to be with my then gf and to start a career. well, i hated the city, hated the job, and eventually didn't want to be with my girl. i was miserable in all aspects. i felt like a failure. felt like my life was going nowhere. i didn't feel i had much to look back on and be happy about. so i finally had had enough. i started looking for jobs in other states and broke it off with the girl. once i was given the opportunity for a new life in a new city, i took it. was it the best opportunity? no. but it got me to the place where i knew i would be happier and have a chance at finding a true career. at times things have been rough and as you read in my other post tonight, i still am dealing with things, but i have never been happier with myself. i have done the things most of my friends and family admitted they could never do. its empowering knowing that it was because of me and me alone that my life has improved.
you need to find what would make you truly happy and go out and do it, cuz it ain't gonna be handed to you.
 
Freak - I guess that is where I am going wrong because I am expecting for someone else to come along and "fix" everything and show/tell me what to do. I will most deffinetly keep your advice in mind.
 
im trying to gain happiness as we speak..i wish i had the answer for u..as for me im just trying to piece together the puzzle day by day..i am much happier now than 5 years ago(im 25)..but im still am not totally satisfied with my life..i look towards the future and I hopefully will have a wonderful family of my own, a job I love and a better relationship with my family..
 
It all came together for me at around 30. I'm 35 now look good, have lots of $$$ and do what I like. The only thing missing is my dad but he did live long enough to see the first lamborghini and move into a house I bought for him and mom.
 
It all came together for me at around 30. I'm 35 now look good, have lots of $$$ and do what I like. The only thing missing is my dad but he did live long enough to see the first lamborghini and move into a house I bought for him and mom.
 
Bobber said:
I am 22 and have never had more doubts about what is going to happen to me or if I will ever actually leave my mark on this world than right now. Even when i was younger i had some kind of idea as to what route my life would take me down but it seems as I get older the outcome becomes more and more vague. To all you old people, when did everything come together for you. How did you end up where you are at now and above all are you happy?
Click to expand...

:devil:
So you didn't get the manager position at Burger King? Your job as the fry cook is just as meaningful. Hang in there, by 23 you'll be a shoe-in.
 
good ol' Bigsatan with the posotive reinforcement. You know, you should volunteer to work at a suicide prevention hotline.
 
Bobber said:
Freak - I guess that is where I am going wrong because I am expecting for someone else to come along and "fix" everything and show/tell me what to do. I will most deffinetly keep your advice in mind.
Click to expand...

I used to feel the EXACT SAME WAY. I am realizing more and more that I and only I control my own happiness. It is impossible for others to piss you off. You participate in the feeling by letting it get to you.

Every now and then I will find myself back in that train of thought of waiting for someone to swoop down and make it all better. I just remind myself that I need to watch out for #1 even it it means being selfish some (or even a lot) of the time because no one else is out there looking out for me in the way that I need to be looked out for.

JC
 
I'm 27 and am not even close to having this life thing figured out. A very wise owl recently told me, because they are aware of some of my own personal struggles and issues and pursuit of happiness, that I would be a lot happier if I did not focus on me, being self centered and trying to make me happy. By focusing my energy and efforts on others and giving something back and making things a little bit better than whenever I found them, they said that was one of the keys to happiness.
 
Life had meaning to me when;

I realized I wasn't the only one in it.
I realized the decisions I make affect everyone around me.

Tha's when I knew. I am on my way.
 
Bobber--

I'm 28 and am just as lost. I have an idea of what I want to do, even a gameplan... but feel like I'm constantly getting a door slammed in my face... which, makes me unsure.

Life having meaning? No, but I can tell you the moment when life stopped having meaning to me.

C-ditty
 
notoriousQQ said:
I'm 27 and am not even close to having this life thing figured out. A very wise owl recently told me, because they are aware of some of my own personal struggles and issues and pursuit of happiness, that I would be a lot happier if I did not focus on me, being self centered and trying to make me happy. By focusing my energy and efforts on others and giving something back and making things a little bit better than whenever I found them, they said that was one of the keys to happiness.
Click to expand...


Whatever works. I grew up trying to please everybody but myself, expecting the same in return. Obviously I never got it. So now I take a more realistic attitude.

If you grew up being selfish and aren't happy, increasing your generosity may be the way to go.

I just reread what I wrote and it kind of doesn't tell the whole story. While I say I tried to please others I am also very selfish and self-centered at the same time. I guess what I am trying to say is that you have to be happy yourself to make other people happy. And that is what I am working on.

JC
 
Well, I am 22 as well, and in the last little while I have been realizing that it doesn't matter whether or not you leave your mark on the world. It will be erased along with everything else over time. It is inevitable. I am working on the meaning of life but all I can come up with is that there is no meaning to life. So much for being a theoretical physicist - the whole point was to make my mark by solving the great riddles of the universe but I'm seriously starting to think that is the big joke: you are forgotten one day along with everytihng else and there is no real answer to the origins of everything we know, and if there is, it is trivial and makes no difference. That sucks and I don't frankly get it but I really want to. So, if you fogure shit out please let me know. This does not really answer your questions per se, I guess what I am trying to say is don't worry about it. Do whatever is making you happy at the moment I suppose since one can never predict what will be. Fuck that was the worst post I have ever written. Excuse me.
 
I never said I wasn't happy. Sure a few things could be different that could make me a lot happier but I am fairly content with what is going on in my life. What I meant is that I have no clue as to what I am going to be, not just as a job but me. I look at my dad see everything he has done and hear all the things he had accomplished by the time he was my age and I feel like a mooching scumbag compared to him. I was just wondering if there was a defining moment in anyones life that heavily skewed your perception of life causing you to accomplish more than average. What happened to the old people on here, I am waiting for your replies.
 
Nathan said:
Well, I am 22 as well, and in the last little while I have been realizing that it doesn't matter whether or not you leave your mark on the world. It will be erased along with everything else over time. It is inevitable. I am working on the meaning of life but all I can come up with is that there is no meaning to life. So much for being a theoretical physicist - the whole point was to make my mark by solving the great riddles of the universe but I'm seriously starting to think that is the big joke: you are forgotten one day along with everytihng else and there is no real answer to the origins of everything we know, and if there is, it is trivial and makes no difference. That sucks and I don't frankly get it but I really want to. So, if you fogure shit out please let me know. This does not really answer your questions per se, I guess what I am trying to say is don't worry about it. Do whatever is making you happy at the moment I suppose since one can never predict what will be. Fuck that was the worst post I have ever written. Excuse me.
Click to expand...

That's funny because that was the crux of my speech as salutatorian of my H.S. class. After that my friend's dad (who was probably the only one who "got" the speech) called me a nihilist.

Ever read any Camus or Sartre?

It's true to a certain extent that our lives and the decisions we make are meaningless. But this gives us a lot of freedom to act--when you know that you are not important you are freed from many self-imposed constraints on your behavior. I am in the process of exploring this freedom and teaching myself to think "outside the box" of my own self-imposed limitations. This doesn't mean I'm going to go shoot an Arab on a beach somewhere but I will certainly try to lead a life of fewer limitations.

JC
 
Bobber said:
When did your life start to have meaning?
Click to expand...
It was either when I started searching for that meaning, or when I forgot about finding the meaning and just started living. I forget which.

Seriously, the aspect of my life which gives the greater sense of worht that I can imagine is knowing that I will be a father one day. I can not comprehend any greater way of "leaving my mark" in this world.
 
38DoubleDamnGood said:
My life started to have meaning when I had my first child. I decided that I was going to try and make this world a better place for them. Raise my children to the best of my ability and make them be independent and make a difference in the world today.
Click to expand...
Toldja! :)
 
38DoubleDamnGood said:
My life started to have meaning when I had my first child.
Click to expand...

Aren't you a little wild too wild to have kids? I know whenI have children I will want both me and my wife to be stable parental figures, not wild anything goes type parents.
 
For me, its become a question of 'why do i need to feel like i should have meaning or leave my mark on the world' rather than 'how can i obtain meaning & leave my mark on the world'.

I look to sociology for the answers to that. I guess that humans, as social creatures, need to feel that their presence is useful to the whole (the same way a singular cell is useful to the body as a whole). meaning may just be a code word for 'usefulness to the social structure'. i honestly have no idea though, that is just a guesstimate.

Use visualization on yourself. Picture 100 different scenarios & what your emotions are when you are in them. Being poor, rich, famous, ugly, stupid, in love, loved, etc. If you do that you might be able to figure out what makes you tick based on how you react to certain situations. When you do that you might be able to figure out what you are missing in life.
 
Hmmm....

Life has meaning when you find a reason for it to have meaning.

Cryptic....isn't it.

Okay. When I got saved, a part of my life began to have reason, but I still lacked direction. I don't doubt there is a "reason" for me to be here, but it still is out of focus. So, I do what I can and choose to be happy in the meantime while waiting to see what happens next.

I hit a mid-life crisis when I turned 30 and was in an accident. I examined my life to see where it was going. I made some changes....took up bodybuilding :D ....put things where where they belonged based on how much they really meant to me. So, my life has more "meaning" than it used to.

Some Christians would say that life is "a dressing room for eternity." I agree, but if you NEED a secular view, you spend your life exploring physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual areas to find yourself and your place in life....even if it's just digging ditches and going home to your wife and 2.5 kids.

When you've found the place where you are more or less content in all those areas, you've found the "meaning" for your life.
 
Bobber said:


Aren't you a little wild too wild to have kids? I know whenI have children I will want both me and my wife to be stable parental figures, not wild anything goes type parents.
Click to expand...

No, I am not as wild as you may think. What I do behind closed doors while my children are sleeping is not exactly wild.

Yes, I am wild in the bedroom but I am a wonderful, stable and responsible parent.

I don't do drugs, I have a great job. I don't bring strange people around my children. I am there for my children 100%.
 
Bobber said:


Aren't you a little wild too wild to have kids? I know whenI have children I will want both me and my wife to be stable parental figures, not wild anything goes type parents.
Click to expand...

The Kronks are "wild" and they have a child too. I'm sure they are kick ass parents...oh back to the point. My life started having meaning the day my son was born as well, however I have no idea where I'm going to end up when I'm 30. I just know I want my children there with me :) Still trying to figure out what will make me happy.

Good luck on your journey.
 
38DoubleDamnGood said:


No, I am not as wild as you may think. What I do behind closed doors while my children are sleeping is not exactly wild.

Yes, I am wild in the bedroom but I am a wonderful, stable and responsible parent.

I don't do drugs, I have a great job. I don't bring strange people around my children. I am there for my children 100%.
Click to expand...

I wasn't trying to flame D.

All you people are just spewing a bunch of BS. Give me your own personal experiences please.
 
PolishHammer1977 said:


Bronze,
Happiness resides within you.
Click to expand...

Once upon a time I believed that :) Until I had my son, the last time I truly felt happy was from birth to the age of 7. After my mother had an anuerysm I can't recall ever being truly happy. I'll be happy once my family and I are stable. I spent my adult life up until recently in the military. So I was always moving around. I'll be happy when I have home that's all mine (not the militarys) and my children are in a good school, and I'm in a career that I enjoy.

But thanks for the kind words I appreciate it.
 
Bobber said:
I am 22 and have never had more doubts about what is going to happen to me or if I will ever actually leave my mark on this world than right now. Even when i was younger i had some kind of idea as to what route my life would take me down but it seems as I get older the outcome becomes more and more vague. To all you old people, when did everything come together for you. How did you end up where you are at now and above all are you happy?
Click to expand...

What do you mean..all you old people???LOL j/k I'm in my thirties and I'd like it better if you say "older." :)

I think if you compare yourself to others (like how you compare yourself to your dad) it sets you up for feeling like a failure even if you're not. It was a different generation back then and such. So first..stop comparing yourself to your dad. Plus, you're still so young..you have time. ;)

For me life started having meaning in my late 20's when my husband had 2 operations on his back because he has recurrent hematomas. I thought they were cancerous at the time and that caused me to go into a clinical depression, but they were benign. Anyway, that's when I promised myself to live life to its fullest. I'm just happy he has no tumors again and I am happy not living in regret.

I'm thinking..maybe you should check into getting a life or career coach or read books on this subject. If not that, at least plan your life in spans, like in 5 years where you plan to be in life, 10 years, and so on.

I hope any of this helps.
 
Last edited:
the question is :When did your life start to have meaning?"

So this is the meaning of everyones lives? to raise a kid, to make money, to make the world a better place, to buy the best car, or the best house. to make your mark on the world?....so you spend 60 or 70 years of trying to find happieness. making money, raising kids then you die? is that right? Doing the same crap millions of people have already done before you. sound like a bunch of ants.
 
68GT350 said:
good ol' Bigsatan with the posotive reinforcement. You know, you should volunteer to work at a suicide prevention hotline.
Click to expand...

:devil:
Don't call me if you are contemplating suicide and you don't want to go through with it. I believe in giving people what they ask for and what they deserve. If you want to stick a gun in your mouth, do it. But pull the trigger.
 
Bobber said:
...or if I will ever actually leave my mark on this world...
Click to expand...

That is your problem and that is why you are feeling down - you're concerning yourself with your effect on the world.

Many, and I mean many, people will not have a significant effect on the world as a whole. Does that make your life any more or less meaningful? No.

You must realize that your life will start to have meaning when you realize that the meaning of life is your happiness. You were not born to make the world a better place for everybody or to serve your fellow man. You were born for one thing and one thing only - to enjoy your life. Does saving the world make you happy? Yes? Then do it. Does worrying more about yourself and your family and waking up each day with a smile on your face make you happy? Yes? Then do it.

When did my life start having meaning? When I realized that I didn't really care what happened to the rest of the world as long as I was happy.

Read Atlas Shrugged.

-Warik
 
Bobber,

It's the best book I've ever read. It's over 1,000 pages but worth each one of them.

It's not a self-help book or anything. It's Ayn Rand's masterpiece that will help you understand why your own needs/wants should be greater in your mind than everyone else's and that you can't be truly happy unless you let yourself come first.

-Warik
 
Warik I will read it over the winter break. For such a long book I hope it is good and not a waste.
 
Bobber said:
Girlpwrd - What is a life coach?

Warik - Is that a good book?
Click to expand...

A life coach is someone who coaches you to reach your goals (such as career or financial goals) that you set out for yourself. Similar to how a coach in sports does...They charge a fee, of course, so I resorted to buying a book which is more affordable. The latest book I read is Coach Yourself to Success.

I like the suggestion of Warik to read Ayn Rand's stuff. She is "deep"..and maybe if you venture more into that realm it will help you in your quest.

Good luck!
 
Bobber said:
Warik I will read it over the winter break. For such a long book I hope it is good and not a waste.
Click to expand...

You will find it hard to put down once you get into it. Just don't read The Fountainhead. It's a good book but not even remotely up to par with Atlas Shrugged.

-Warik
 
big_bad_buff said:
the question is :When did your life start to have meaning?"

So this is the meaning of everyones lives? to raise a kid, to make money, to make the world a better place, to buy the best car, or the best house. to make your mark on the world?....so you spend 60 or 70 years of trying to find happieness. making money, raising kids then you die? is that right? Doing the same crap millions of people have already done before you. sound like a bunch of ants.
Click to expand...
Cut all the bullshit of the end of the kid part.

Here's one of my previous replies to a similar question:

I was walking with my sister a few weeks ago. We have a cynical sense of humor. We passed a little kid, probably 4 or 5 years old, playing. He had a big smile and was laughing in that sincere way only a little kid can. I said to my sister "we'll never be that happy again, ever!" We kind of laughed though we each felt some sad truth in the comment.

Later, it started to bother me. I can remember the innocent joy of my youth but I will never be able to go back. This depressed me and began to contemplate the prospect of true happiness in my life.

The other day it dawned on me. I had a vision of myself in the future, as a father, pushing my child on a swing. The echo of my child’s laughter reverberating in my heart, re-instilling within me that same sincere joy. This is happiness.
 
Bobber said:
I am 22 and have never had more doubts about what is going to happen to me or if I will ever actually leave my mark on this world than right now. Even when i was younger i had some kind of idea as to what route my life would take me down but it seems as I get older the outcome becomes more and more vague. To all you old people, when did everything come together for you. How did you end up where you are at now and above all are you happy?
Click to expand...

you dont WAIT for it to happen you MAKE it happen.
 
Re: Re: When did your life start to have meaning?

Newbie2building said:


you dont WAIT for it to happen you MAKE it happen.
Click to expand...

What have you not WAITED for and actually MADE happen missy?
 
Bobber said:
So are yall trying to tell me to go out and have a kid? Fuck that. maybe in about 5 or 6 years.
Click to expand...
This illustrates part of your problem. 5 or 6 years dosen't have any bearing on the meaning of life for you. It's going to be some time before I have a kid, but I'm not sitting here thinking "well shit, life is going to have no meanining untill I get those kids."

Kids may not be it for you. But you seem like whatever happiness is to you, you need it N O W. Relax and enjoy each day.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

C
How would you make your TRT more manageable with less side effects?
Replies
13
Views
407
ceo
ceo
T
napsgear 12 week stack for bulking
Replies
11
Views
1K
Arabian
Arabian
Dr_Strangelove
Approved Log TRT Training and Lifestyle Journal
Replies
14
Views
145
the_alcatraz
the_alcatraz
Resurrected
Approved Log My Comeback Lifestyle Log
Replies
63
Views
6K
the_alcatraz
the_alcatraz
K
want to boost my endurance with sarms
Replies
13
Views
1K
RoySimpson
RoySimpson
Top Bottom