What would you do?

[Gilbyag]

If you found out you could possibly be having a child with a chromosomal defect? More than likely its downs. My sister has been called in by her doc, they’re probably going to admit her today so they can monitor the baby. She is not due until Jan, but the baby only weighs 2 lbs. “Best case” is her placenta may have torn away or the umbilical cord has a blockage. In my opinion worst case is the baby has downs. I don’t mean to offend any one with special children, but she realizes she will have a very difficult decision to if this is the case. My question is… what would you do. Take this into consideration; my sister and her husband are not very well off. They did plan on this child and have one child already (who so wants a brother or sister). But a challenging child with possible medical difficulties would shut and lock the front door to the poor house for sure. I may have left something out (i just found this out) so ask questions if you want. I think Im kinda freak'n out here, more for her state of mind.

 

[BigGuns2]

That is a horrible dilemna. I'm glad that I don't have to make that decision. I know several children and adults with downs syndrome. I can tell you that they are the sweetest souls you will ever encounter. As far as I know, they would have no extra expense with a downs baby as opposed to a normal baby.

 

[§äñît¥ Pôí§ðñ]

not trying to be offensive
but abort it
its the rational decision
there is nothing immoral about it either, you are saving that child and the parents alot of mental and emotional anguish from seeing it struggle

especially if they dont have the money for adequate care..

 

[Gilbyag]

not trying to be offensive
but abort it
its the rational decision
there is nothing immoral about it either, you are saving that child and the parents alot of mental and emotional anguish from seeing it struggle

especially if they dont have the money for adequate care..

...no offense taken, if its cowardly then I would more than likely be a coward. If its a test from God then Id fail. I dont think that I would be strong enough to deal with something like this. Its going to be hard for me to watch her deal with this either way. My sister and I are very close and I know Ill feel the burden either way.

 

[§äñît¥ Pôí§ðñ]

if she is religious, and u as well, then u might as well keep it or u will regret it and fear the wrath etc for the rest of your life i.e. miserable

but if u dont worry with religion then a logical choice should be made, find out more about the resources it might require for a child that has downs syndrome and decide if it is feasible to raise that child, it is a life long burden either way

dont take my words the wrong way, i'm just trying to give my perspective. if i became pregnant and found out my child could have a disabliitating diease or disorder, i would abort it. not being "normal" is something u all take for granted and something very painful emotionally to someone who is not. regardless. i dont want to detail about why i say that, i just want to leave my comments there.

 

[THeMaCHinE]

If my math is correct, it's too late to abort isn't it? Don't most states cap at 5 mos or less?

P.S. Not advocating any course of action... it sounds like they don't know if the child has Downs... Amniocentesis could be performed to determine for sure. Check out www.amnionet.com for more info on the procedure.

 

[danielson]

children with down's syndrome have immune systems comparable to patients with HIV....as well as lots of other medical problems....which in america means $$$ on bills

its really a tough call. is it at a stage where it can be aborted? im sure someone would be willing to care for the baby as well, there must be lots of societies out there on the web

children with this dont live to be very old as well, usually get as far as their 20's i think....its a big commitment. but hey wait for the results of the test, they wont know its downs until that.

abortion is a big step for any family. doing it might very well drive a wedge between them and may potentially psychologically affect both parents as losing a child is a big thing and even the strongest of relationships can be broken by something like this. its really a hard choice and ultimately i think only they as a family can make it, but i hope whichever descision they make its the right one for them. good luck, im sure you'll be there for her.

(there also might be websites out there from reputable sources/info at doctors surgery specifically helping on issues such as this...try this, but im sure more are out there

http://www.dsa-uk.com/ )

 

[Gilbyag]

she just called me, shes in the hospital already, I could hear the babys heartbeat in the background.
They cant do the amnio until the doc gets the ok from medicare to do it. (thats bullshit) Rightnow theyre trying to figure of if it could possibly be the blocked umbilical or torn placenta.

btw, her doc basiclly has told her its up to her if she wants to keep it. The way its going, if she tries to go to term it could be still born. So I guess in this case they can abort due to her situation (I forgot to mention shes diabetic) and the condition the baby is currently in. according to the doc, it doesnt seem hes moving as much as he should.

 

[Bull69]

not trying to be offensive
but abort it
its the rational decision
there is nothing immoral about it either, you are saving that child and the parents alot of mental and emotional anguish from seeing it struggle

especially if they dont have the money for adequate care..

Who are you to put a value on that childs life. MENTAL and EMOTIONAL ANGUISH, give me a break. There are many downs and other handicapped children that grow up to be productive members of society. These children often can teach and give us more than we could ever teach and give them!

 

[danielson]

i think an amnio does carry a risk with it, its an invasive procedure, so he might need authorisation.

also unless her bladder is full they cant ultrasound, but even then its lousy for making out incredible detail.

good luck

 

[§äñît¥ Pôí§ðñ]

Who are you to put a value on that childs life. MENTAL and EMOTIONAL ANGUISH, give me a break. There are many downs and other handicapped children that grow up to be productive members of society. These children often can teach and give us more than we could ever teach and give them!

because maybe i am looking at it from a different perspective than you
i agree, some of them are wonderful people that bring many of us joy

but there are just as many or more that would be better off dead. maybe YOU dont know what you are talking about until you have seen and felt someone suffer with a handicap or any other things.

i'm not advokating anything, i thought i made that point clear, i am not here to push my opinion on anyone. but i know what choice i would make

 

[THeMaCHinE]

i think an amnio does carry a risk with it, its an invasive procedure, so he might need authorisation.

also unless her bladder is full they cant ultrasound, but even then its lousy for making out incredible detail.

good luck

There is a small margin of risk but it's really pretty safe; I've seen it performed first-hand... Given the case, it may very well be worth the small margin of risk.

 

[danielson]

yeah i know

but i was only saying it because he wondered why the doctor might have wanted authorisation....the dangers are just under 1% i think so its pretty safe

 

[THeMaCHinE]

yeah i know

but i was only saying it because he wondered why the doctor might have wanted authorisation....the dangers are just under 1% i think so its pretty safe

Ahhh... gotcha...

More likely, the doctor wanted authorization because of the $$$ involved -- to make sure medicaid would cover it. It's also likely that it's not a procedure that the anybody at the hospital can perform -- she may have to go off-site, even to a different state to get it done.

 

[danielson]

Ahhh... gotcha...

More likely, the doctor wanted authorization because of the $$$ involved -- to make sure medicaid would cover it. It's also likely that it's not a procedure that the anybody at the hospital can perform -- she may have to go off-site, even to a different state to get it done.

that sucks about the medicaid aspect

 

[freak daddy]

That's tough, but I look at the worst case scenario here. Money is a problem and a child with downs will need a lot of extra care and I am sure finances. You know where I'm heading! Sorry Brother!

 

[Honeynut]

Maybe you should PM Babydoc and DrJMW

 

[Y_lifter]

Been here. Made this decision 8 years ago.

A Sonogram showed a potential for Downs. We had an Amneo to get some DNA at around 3 months into the pregnancy.
The DNA test showed Downs and also Probable heart defects.

We already had a beautiful 2 year old daughter after my wife had many miscarriages.
We are not Real, Real religious, so that never came into play, but a Life is a Life and at what point does that life begin?
I don't know for sure...

What determined the outcome was considering the extra effort both in time and $ that this child would definitly take away from our daughter.
Neither my wife or I are the type of stong people that is required to raise a SPECIAL child in today's world.

What made it really hard to abort the fetus was that we had earlier found out it was to be a boy and had named him already.

 

[Gilbyag]

Been here. Made this decision 8 years ago.

A Sonogram showed a potential for Downs. We had an Amneo to get some DNA at around 3 months into the pregnancy.
The DNA test showed Downs and also Probable heart defects.

We already had a beautiful 2 year old daughter after my wife had many miscarriages.
We are not Real, Real religious, so that never came into play, but a Life is a Life and at what point does that life begin?
I don't know for sure...

What determined the outcome was considering the extra effort both in time and $ that this child would definitly take away from our daughter.
Neither my wife or I are the type of stong people that is required to raise a SPECIAL child in today's world.

What made it really hard to abort the fetus was that we had earlier found out it was to be a boy and had named him already.

sorry to hear, thanx for your input, youve added a couple more things to think about.

 

[Bull69]

because maybe i am looking at it from a different perspective than you
i agree, some of them are wonderful people that bring many of us joy

but there are just as many or more that would be better off dead. maybe YOU dont know what you are talking about until you have seen and felt someone suffer with a handicap or any other things.

i'm not advokating anything, i thought i made that point clear, i am not here to push my opinion on anyone. but i know what choice i would make

Maybe you do not know what the fuck you are talking about. I lost two brothers too Duschene Muscular Dystrophy. They knew more about life and how to live it than most people who live to be eighty. They touched more lives and taught more people about than I can imagine. Better off dead, who the fuck are you to say when a human would be better off dead.

I have also worked thousands of hours for Topeka Assosiation for Retarded Citizens, Denver Child Development, and muscaular dystrophy camps. I can tell you about suffering, but I can also attest to the light these children shed on everyone in their prescence who is not to afraid or closed-minded to see it. Do not pity these children. Believe me they do not want it. I

 

[Y_lifter]

Gilbyag... No prob....

I don't share this with anyone I know personally because I know there are some that would Judge us.

Until you get put into this situation, you will never be able to say what you would decide, unless you are a deeply religious person, and truely believe that life begins at conception.

 

[Crazier]

You could just be making a big assumption and I hope you are, for your everyone involved.

My daughter's ambilical cord was wrapped around her neck. She was c-section'd 7 weeks early because her heart stopped beating. She was born at 2lbs and 12 ounces. She's 4 years old and the most beautiful healthy child I could ever ask for. Things may be okay for her too.

Good luck to all of you.
--

 

[Gilbyag]

You could just be making a big assumption and I hope you are, for your everyone involved.

My daughter's amilical cord was wrapped around her neck. She was born 7 weeks early, at 2lbs and 12 ounces. She's 4 years old and the most beautiful healthy child I could ever ask for.

Good luck to all of you.
--

I guess the doc is just covering his base's and advising her of what all the possibilities are for what's going on. Its just very shocking to be told your baby could have downs, even though it would only be my nephew, shes my sister and Im concerned.

I hope she finds something out real soon, hopefully it will turn out to be a blocked umbilical cord. The baby is at about 2lbs now, if they induce he or she would be 9 weeks early.

congrats on your daughter being ok...

 

[PinK233]

Coming from a religious person, that child may be physically/mentally disabled, but he/she still has a soul...he/she will grow up to have emotions and love just like any other human would, of course they would encounter more obstacles than a physically/mentally normal person would...but they have just as much right to live as any one else. I too know a few disabled people and they are the most caring and loving people I know...some of you should try viewing the child as a human being and not a financial nuisance...

 

[theoak01]

i would get a abortion or talk to my wife about it if i was married and my wife was having a downs child,nothing against them,i would be outcast from my family from it but i dont think i could live that way at all

 

[thebabydoc]

Gilbyag:

It really sounds like you're jumping the gun here. Due January?
That puts the fetus at 30-32 weeks? Average weight at 30 weeks is about 3 lbs.
Have they had an amniocentesis yet? The amnio carries a 1/300 risk, even in the most unskilled hands. I do this procedure in the office. At 29+ weeks, the risk is negligible because the fetus is viable (can survive outside the womb.) Unfortunately the results take longer to get because the cells being tested are more mature and grow more slowly.

It sounds like a problem often related to placentation, called IUGR (Intrauterine Growth Restriction). It is less often than not associated with genetic defects. There is NO REASON they would have to wait for "authorization" for an amnio. I would hope they are doing umbilical doppler flow studies. That will tell then when they have to get the baby out. Another bit of good news...these babies tend to be "stressed out" and as a result mature faster and do MUCH BETTER outside the womb than simple "premature" babies. (e.g. a 29 week 3 lb preemie will not do as well as a 31 week 2 lb 8 oz preemie)

I do not believe you can abort at this stage unless there is a defect that is not compatible with life.

Far too many unknowns here for me to answer your question fully, but I hope this helps.

 

[thebabydoc]

bump for Gilbyag?