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What is love?

biteme

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Romanitcally speaking.

I just awakened from my dreams and I've been having vivid ones lately. Sometimes I awake with more clarity, it refreshes my mind.

I have finally been able to put my 2 past loves away. I don't know what happened, but I realize that I was somehow holding on to those memories and also feeling bitter and scared of love because I failed at it twice, once in marriage. My life is about to change. For the first time in my life, I am going to have a solid career, but more than anything else, I know what I want. To be able to look into a woman's eyes and feel totally vulnerable, to love and cherish her so much that it brings tears to my eyes. To hold her at night and not want to let go. I believe now that it will happen again.
 
hard to go back to that when you've had it taken away from you unwillingly. You have to admit that the fear of losing something like that makes you hesitant to search for it in the first place =/
 
ZKaudio said:
hard to go back to that when you've had it taken away from you unwillingly. You have to admit that the fear of losing something like that makes you hesitant to search for it in the first place =/

Yes it does, it did. The fear that there must be something wrong with you and that you will only screw it up again. You have to get past that.
 
What is love
Oh baby, don`t hurt me
Don`t hurt me no more
Oh, baby don`t hurt me
Don`t hurt me no more
What is love
Yeah
Oh, I don`t know why you`re not there
I give you my love, but you don`t care
So what is right and what is wrong
Gimme a sign
What is love
Oh baby, don`t hurt me
Don`t hurt me no more
What is love
Oh baby, don`t hurt me
Don`t hurt me no more
Whoa whoa whoa, oooh oooh
Whoa whoa whoa, oooh oooh
Oh, I don`t know, what can I do
What else can I say, it`s up to you
I know we`re one, just me and you
I can`t go on
What is love
Oh baby, don`t hurt me
Don`t hurt me no more
What is love
Oh baby, don`t hurt me
Don`t hurt me no more
Whoa whoa whoa, oooh oooh
Whoa whoa whoa, oooh oooh
What is love, oooh, oooh, oooh
What is love, oooh, oooh, oooh
What is love
Oh baby, don`t hurt me
Don`t hurt me no more
Don`t hurt me
Don`t hurt me
I want no other, no other lover
This is your life, our time
When we are together, I need you forever
Is it love
What is love
Oh baby, don`t hurt me
Don`t hurt me no more
What is love
Oh baby, don`t hurt me
Don`t hurt me no more (oooh, oooh)
What is love
Oh baby, don`t hurt me
Don`t hurt me no more
What is love
Oh baby, don`t hurt me
Don`t hurt me no more (oooh, oooh)
What is love?
 
casavant said:
What is love
Oh baby, don`t hurt me
Don`t hurt me no more
Oh, baby don`t hurt me
Don`t hurt me no more
What is love
Yeah
Oh, I don`t know why you`re not there
I give you my love, but you don`t care
So what is right and what is wrong
Gimme a sign
What is love
Oh baby, don`t hurt me
Don`t hurt me no more
What is love
Oh baby, don`t hurt me
Don`t hurt me no more
Whoa whoa whoa, oooh oooh
Whoa whoa whoa, oooh oooh
Oh, I don`t know, what can I do
What else can I say, it`s up to you
I know we`re one, just me and you
I can`t go on
What is love
Oh baby, don`t hurt me
Don`t hurt me no more
What is love
Oh baby, don`t hurt me
Don`t hurt me no more
Whoa whoa whoa, oooh oooh
Whoa whoa whoa, oooh oooh
What is love, oooh, oooh, oooh
What is love, oooh, oooh, oooh
What is love
Oh baby, don`t hurt me
Don`t hurt me no more
Don`t hurt me
Don`t hurt me
I want no other, no other lover
This is your life, our time
When we are together, I need you forever
Is it love
What is love
Oh baby, don`t hurt me
Don`t hurt me no more
What is love
Oh baby, don`t hurt me
Don`t hurt me no more (oooh, oooh)
What is love
Oh baby, don`t hurt me
Don`t hurt me no more
What is love
Oh baby, don`t hurt me
Don`t hurt me no more (oooh, oooh)
What is love?

Lmao. You always find the humor in everything.
 
biteme said:


Lmao. You always find the humor in everything.

:) Sorry man, I couldn't resist. But I do want to add a serious post.

I think that people, and our culture in particular, try to make "love" too much of a neat, cut-and-dried little package.

Noone knows quite how to define it. We even have trouble telling whether or not we're "in love", and we question if our love is stronger than other people's love, and on and on.

Trying to take all the vastly differing and varying and complicated and sometimes conflicting emotions that come into play when we care about someone and simplify them into this thing we call "love" is a folly, in my opinion.

I get the image of a magic suitcase in a kid's story that you can put anything into, no matter what shape or size or how large it is or how much it is. This imaginary suitcase is what we created when we created the ill-defined concept of "love". All the different feelings and varying intensities of those feelings that fall into the gray boundaries of "love" are supposed to fit into this magic suitcase. Except this ain't no fairy tale, and the suitcase isn't magic- it needs to be thrown in the junk pile along with this over-simplified, one-size-fits-all idea that has been perpetuated in our society.
 
casavant said:


:) Sorry man, I couldn't resist. But I do want to add a serious post.

I think that people, and our culture in particular, try to make "love" too much of a neat, cut-and-dried little package.

Noone knows quite how to define it. We even have trouble telling whether or not we're "in love", and we question if our love is stronger than other people's love, and on and on.

Trying to take all the vastly differing and varying and complicated and sometimes conflicting emotions that come into play when we care about someone and simplify them into this thing we call "love" is a folly, in my opinion.

I get the image of a magic suitcase in a kid's story that you can put anything into, no matter what shape or size or how large it is or how much it is. This imaginary suitcase is what we created when we created the ill-defined concept of "love". All the different feelings and varying intensities of those feelings that fall into the gray boundaries of "love" are supposed to fit into this magic suitcase. Except this ain't no fairy tale, and the suitcase isn't magic- it needs to be thrown in the junk pile along with this over-simplified, one-size-fits-all idea that has been perpetuated in our society.

How did you get that much wisdom to be only 23?
 
biteme said:


How did you get that much wisdom to be only 23?

:) Thanks. I think a lot (as many others do), but sometimes I wish I wouldn't. The mind can be a hell of a masochistic son-of-a-bitch, ya know?

There don't seem to be a whole lot of real answers out there, and if you can find anything close, it often is pretty grim.
 
casavant said:


:) Thanks. I think a lot (as many others do), but sometimes I wish I wouldn't. The mind can be a hell of a masochistic son-of-a-bitch, ya know?

There don't seem to be a whole lot of real answers out there, and if you can find anything close, it often is pretty grim.

Yep. Always been one of my biggest downfalls, overanalyzing everything. Use to drive my wife crazy. She'd say, don't you know, you're never going to find the answers to your questions?
 
Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more......

What is love , baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more....

alalallala
 
a biological tool designed to keep people together so they can have kids, propgating the species. I assume.
 
biteme said:


Yep. Always been one of my biggest downfalls, overanalyzing everything. Use to drive my wife crazy. She'd say, don't you know, you're never going to find the answers to your questions?

Too bad there's no "off" button.

It's hard enough just to turn the volume down, sometimes.
 
nordstrom said:
a biological tool designed to keep people together so they can have kids, propgating the species. I assume.

You take the fun out of everything.:)
 
A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness.

A feeling of intense desire and attraction toward a person with whom one is disposed to make a pair; the emotion of sex and romance.

Sexual passion.

Sexual intercourse.

A love affair.

An intense emotional attachment, as for a pet or treasured object.

A person who is the object of deep or intense affection or attraction; beloved. Often used as a term of endearment.

An expression of one's affection.
 
Oh , what the shit! ! I didn't notice that Casavant was already singing....
 
nvrbuffenuff_girl said:
A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness.

A feeling of intense desire and attraction toward a person with whom one is disposed to make a pair; the emotion of sex and romance.

Sexual passion.

Sexual intercourse.

A love affair.

An intense emotional attachment, as for a pet or treasured object.

A person who is the object of deep or intense affection or attraction; beloved. Often used as a term of endearment.

An expression of one's affection.

:rose:
 
nvrbuffenuff_girl said:
A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness.

A feeling of intense desire and attraction toward a person with whom one is disposed to make a pair; the emotion of sex and romance.

Sexual passion.

Sexual intercourse.

A love affair.

An intense emotional attachment, as for a pet or treasured object.

A person who is the object of deep or intense affection or attraction; beloved. Often used as a term of endearment.

An expression of one's affection.

Now you can put your dictionary away. :D J/K
 
<I>Originally posted by nordstrom</I>
a biological tool designed to keep people together so they can have kids, propgating the species. I assume.

Summed up in one sentence, its actually a chemical reaction =/. Has to do with seratonin, dopamine and oxytacin fluctuations.

Again, I question the existance of actual love. It just seems like everyone is using each other to their own selfish advantage :).
 
Everything can be broken down into a chemical reaction.
 
The Red Dragon said:


Summed up in one sentence, its actually a chemical reaction =/. Has to do with seratonin, dopamine and oxytacin fluctuations.

Again, I question the existance of actual love. It just seems like everyone is using each other to their own selfish advantage :).


Of course we're all chemicals, but my statement still stands.
 
biteme said:
Romanitcally speaking.

I just awakened from my dreams and I've been having vivid ones lately. Sometimes I awake with more clarity, it refreshes my mind.

I have finally been able to put my 2 past loves away. I don't know what happened, but I realize that I was somehow holding on to those memories and also feeling bitter and scared of love because I failed at it twice, once in marriage. My life is about to change. For the first time in my life, I am going to have a solid career, but more than anything else, I know what I want. To be able to look into a woman's eyes and feel totally vulnerable, to love and cherish her so much that it brings tears to my eyes. To hold her at night and not want to let go. I believe now that it will happen again.

Okay, I guess I'm not answering your question, but I just want to say it's refreshing that you are going to give love another chance. Some people get hurt once and it turns them off to love forever. I hope you find what you are looking for.
 
Re: Re: What is love?

lucidBlue said:


Okay, I guess I'm not answering your question, but I just want to say it's refreshing that you are going to give love another chance. Some people get hurt once and it turns them off to love forever. I hope you find what you are looking for.

Thank you.:)
 
What is romantic love...?

That is quite a question....everyone I think has their own definition and their own expectations when in a relationship. Maybe that is what makes it all so difficult.

To me, love is, being in a relationship with someone when you are comfortable being yourself, "letting your hair down", you are able to tell them all of your hopes, dreams, and goals in life, no matter how silly; you have trust and respect in them, and are understanding of time that they spend away from you (do not smother). The thought of them brings a smile to your face... and probably most of all, love is being in a relationship where both people feel they are lucky to be with the other....
 
casavant said:


:) Sorry man, I couldn't resist. But I do want to add a serious post.

I think that people, and our culture in particular, try to make "love" too much of a neat, cut-and-dried little package.

Noone knows quite how to define it. We even have trouble telling whether or not we're "in love", and we question if our love is stronger than other people's love, and on and on.

Trying to take all the vastly differing and varying and complicated and sometimes conflicting emotions that come into play when we care about someone and simplify them into this thing we call "love" is a folly, in my opinion.

I get the image of a magic suitcase in a kid's story that you can put anything into, no matter what shape or size or how large it is or how much it is. This imaginary suitcase is what we created when we created the ill-defined concept of "love". All the different feelings and varying intensities of those feelings that fall into the gray boundaries of "love" are supposed to fit into this magic suitcase. Except this ain't no fairy tale, and the suitcase isn't magic- it needs to be thrown in the junk pile along with this over-simplified, one-size-fits-all idea that has been perpetuated in our society.
I'm with you on this - brilliant analogy by the way. Most of the "different feelings and varying intensities of those feelings that fall into the gray boundaries of "love" are a consequence of modern society. Additionally, the behaviors and feelings of "love" are taught to children as well as the meanings and expectations. Just thought I would reiterate what you said in my own way for the hell of it.
 
Here are my thoughts. I don't want to come off as arrogant, so don't assume I claim to be all-knowing.

In my opinion, love is the collective manifestation of a set of deceptions, illusions and behaviors. "love" is a necessary function as society as we know it.

1:
Some people are trained to be masochists. Other people, enlightened and/or trained sadists, prey on these people. Conversely, masochists desperately cling to their masters.

2:
Some couples are trained to be codependent. Notice the word "trained" --- even in the context of society, a person can be trained to not be codependent.

3:
Some people could be classified as super-sadists and/or super-players. Super-sadists are people that have dozens of virtual slaves waiting to suck their dicks/pussies and drink their piss on command. This is no joke --- I know people like this. Super-players are people who have many partners, and simply enjoy interacting with all of them.

4:
Marriage/monogamy is often a social and financial tool. Specifically, women use unattractive men to support a stable lifestyle, while unsatisfied or unfaithful.

5:
One can learn to completely discard the illusion of "love" and just use society's concept of "love" to his/her advantage. One very rational choice is to be a super-sadist and super-player, while keeping several potentially more equal partners for higher quality interaction.

6:
Love and hate are very similar. Both are weaknesses in the context of power.
 
toga22 said:


To me, love is, being in a relationship with someone when you are comfortable being yourself, "letting your hair down", you are able to tell them all of your hopes, dreams, and goals in life, no matter how silly; you have trust and respect in them, and are understanding of time that they spend away from you (do not smother). The thought of them brings a smile to your face... and probably most of all, love is being in a relationship where both people feel they are lucky to be with the other....

Perfect description of love!!
 
nordstrom said:
a biological tool designed to keep people together so they can have kids, propgating the species. I assume.
"Love" carries much more meaning than the biological tools that propogate the species. Furthermore, people assume love is biological and innate when, in fact, it is an invention of modern society --- this shows how completely most of society believes in the idea of "love". If you are saying that, indirectly, love is a consequence of some kind of evolution, I say you are wrong --- the concept of "love" is a fairly recent phenomenon for humans. Remember that I am talking about "love", not just male-female attraction and relationships.

This is similar, in my mind, to the idea that spirituality is an innate, biologically natural and necessary component of peoples' minds. The fact that it is called "spirituality" assumes, a priori, that there is a supernatural world. Therefore the word "spirituality" carries an unnecessary amount of meaning in the context of psychology. I would argue that "spirituality" is an illusion. But this is just an example --- please don't debate with me about this as I am not actually trying to make a point beyond further exemplifying the concepts in my previous paragraph.
 
velvett said:
When putting yourself second for another gives you great joy.

Yes.
 
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