At 6 months my mom crushed up d-bol and put them in my baby formula. As soon as I could walk I started getting weekly shots of tren and I had a rattle that weighed 45 lbs that I played with non stop. At age 5 I started using Anadrol and used my Big Wheel to tow stranded motorists out of roadside ditches-which really helped develope my quads. By puberty I was on every steroid known to mankind, I was 300 lbs ripped, I had a full beard, and a voice deeper than James Earl Jones(Darth Vader's voice). At 16 I had my gyno surgically removed. I got kicked out of high school my junior year for chronic masturbation and putting a kid in intensive care during PE dodgeball. At 18 I found out I was on the verge of kidney failure. I started drinking cranberry juice by the gallon and using milk thistle and saw palmetto and got better. At 20 I went to Joe Weider to seek sponsorship to become a pro BB. He told me OK as long as I let him fuck me in the ass. I let him put it in 1.5 inches, then I clenched my sphincter muscle as hard as I could and snipped his dick off like a pair of bolt cutters. I'm currently serving a life sentence on Riker's Island for agravated sexual battery and attempted murder-but nobody has ever tried to rape me yet. I wonder why?