whar would you do in this situation?

[tatman3177]

here it is. right now im in a mariage that seems to be heading south. she and i constantly argue about stupid stuff for no apparent reason. and it seems she is always mad at me, but when i ask her to tell me what is going on she screams at me and stomps off. she has said i dont help her enough at home and with the kids, but when i try to help at home she just tells me how im doing it wrong cause she does it differently. ill help with the kids, for example ill take them somewhere and send her to go tan or what ever, she says im excluding her. we had a baby in oct of last year and now all i hear is how her life as she knows it is over. she is older than me by 6 years and has a 14 year old son. and well hes not really over the divorce of his parents. this came to surface rather violently last week when he walked in our bed room with out knocking and caught us in the act. he flipped out. what should i do.. i dont want to leave b/c of the baby but its gettin unhealthy mentally.. i do love her.. im lookin for some advice from someone that might have been in same situation.

 

[awittyusername]

lol. Sounds like every girl I went out with, and like all my friends wifes.

Seriously bro..Go to counceling. She needs to tell you whats up. Hopefully, counceling will do it.

 

[eat big]

Go to counselling and lock your door from now on.

 

[StickFigure]

Definately get to a marriage counselor. One who understands mixed familys.
Don't waste any time!
Trust me on this one! I am going through a divorce as we speak. Married 12 years and those were the same things she told me.

I posted this in another thread today, but it's worth posting again:

"In marriage, it's better to be happy than to be RIGHT!!

Feel free to PM me if you want to talk more.

 

[artrius]

Definately get to a marriage counselor. One who understands mixed familys.
Don't waste any time!
Trust me on this one! I am going through a divorce as we speak. Married 12 years and those were the same things she told me.

I posted this in another thread today, but it's worth posting again:

"In marriage, it's better to be happy than to be RIGHT!!

Feel free to PM me if you want to talk more.

I haven't been married before, but I would have to agree with this. Go get some marital counseling. I've got a fiance, but before we get married, we're going to get some pre-marital counseling.

 

[StickFigure]

I haven't been married before, but I would have to agree with this. Go get some marital counseling. I've got a fiance, but before we get married, we're going to get some pre-marital counseling.

You are a smart man art! That's the best thing you could do for your soon to be marriage!

If I do it again, I'm there!

 

[canadianhitman]

Just take it for a little while...be all "Yes, dear"

That'll buy you some time to start dunking money away on the low-down. Try the marriage counselling, but also be prepared for shit to hit the fan. Hope for the best, but always prepare for the worst.

 

[Cutiebaby]

guy marraige is rough...so does she only go tanning when you take the kids? Maybe she wants to go elsewhere.....take it from me motherhood is far from fun..while you boys go have fun we sit home and change diapers and wipe tears and kiss boo boos...maybe there is some thing else going on with her...you never know she could have added even 1 lbs and now she has low self esteem and needs you to reassure her, maybe she has even deeper issues and dont want to piss you off by talking about them...who knows..just be nice and try to talk...dont give up cause her 14 year old..obviously he knows about sex so no worries there

 

[eat big]

guy marraige is rough...so does she only go tanning when you take the kids? Maybe she wants to go elsewhere.....take it from me motherhood is far from fun..while you boys go have fun we sit home and change diapers and wipe tears and kiss boo boos...maybe there is some thing else going on with her...you never know she could have added even 1 lbs and now she has low self esteem and needs you to reassure her, maybe she has even deeper issues and dont want to piss you off by talking about them...who knows..just be nice and try to talk...dont give up cause her 14 year old..obviously he knows about sex so no worries there

Dont forget most men are working and paying the bills. Gonelifting is a house mom and he loves it.

 

[Cutiebaby]

yes most men work and pay bills up till now needto has payed all our bills but check this to me being a parent is a full time job damn it who gets up at night with the kids......surely not the one who "works and pays the bills".....well that gonelifting must be a patient man to love being a house mom cause it can get stressful being home all day with loud non listening kids

 

[PBR]

tatman you will go nowhere fast but downhill until the communication is opened up...get a babysitter for 1 night, dont tell her...take her out- and find a nice place with no distractions and lay it out on the table...if you find out whats going on and if its worth saving your marraige, go to counseling right away...however, counseling is a TWO-PARTY investment...both must WANT to be there and be totally involved...otherwise you are wasting time and money...i will tell you from the sounds of things , she is very angry- this could be a post PG thing or something else...you need to find out before implimenting Plan-B...

 

[HumorMe]

tatman you will go nowhere fast but downhill until the communication is opened up...get a babysitter for 1 night, dont tell her...take her out- and find a nice place with no distractions and lay it out on the table...if you find out whats going on and if its worth saving your marraige, go to counseling right away...however, counseling is a TWO-PARTY investment...both must WANT to be there and be totally involved...otherwise you are wasting time and money...i will tell you from the sounds of things , she is very angry- this could be a post PG thing or something else...you need to find out before implimenting Plan-B...

Solid advice there.

 

[needtogetaas]

good shit thare pbr

 

[tatman3177]

tatman you will go nowhere fast but downhill until the communication is opened up...get a babysitter for 1 night, dont tell her...take her out- and find a nice place with no distractions and lay it out on the table...if you find out whats going on and if its worth saving your marraige, go to counseling right away...however, counseling is a TWO-PARTY investment...both must WANT to be there and be totally involved...otherwise you are wasting time and money...i will tell you from the sounds of things , she is very angry- this could be a post PG thing or something else...you need to find out before implimenting Plan-B...

thats some good advice and i thinks its time to give this one a try. and thanks to all that chimed in. and as for plan-b its been in place for a while now, b/c of her actions. but that is last resort.

 

[tatman3177]

well its now done. i did the idea of gettin a sitter and goin out somewhere quiet. i even did it as a suprise. it started ok well we started talkin and she just flat out said she doesnt feel the same as she used to and that she regrets the divorce with her ex. the tension around the house was unbelievable and now its in the open as to why. there is no way to explain how it felt when she said those things to me. it killed me inside. i didnt know what to say, so i just got quiet- i do that when i get real mad so she thought i was mad. she tried to say she was sorry for continuing on and letting me believe all was ok. i still dont know what to say about it. i dont even know what to do to try and make it better, if it at all can be. the dinner was last night and today she tells me i need to find "other arrangments" as far as living is concerned. she left after she said that now im here speachless wondering what to do.

 

[Cutiebaby]

well its now done. i did the idea of gettin a sitter and goin out somewhere quiet. i even did it as a suprise. it started ok well we started talkin and she just flat out said she doesnt feel the same as she used to and that she regrets the divorce with her ex. the tension around the house was unbelievable and now its in the open as to why. there is no way to explain how it felt when she said those things to me. it killed me inside. i didnt know what to say, so i just got quiet- i do that when i get real mad so she thought i was mad. she tried to say she was sorry for continuing on and letting me believe all was ok. i still dont know what to say about it. i dont even know what to do to try and make it better, if it at all can be. the dinner was last night and today she tells me i need to find "other arrangments" as far as living is concerned. she left after she said that now im here speachless wondering what to do.

well then i guess it is time to go!!! you sound nice i am sure there are more fish in the sea waiting for you..she will realize that she has made a mistake in due time...best thing to do is walk away and not look back

 

[StickFigure]

I'm real sorry to hear that bro! I know how you feel.
Did she get back with her ex or is she just having second thoughts?
Will she even consider trying to make things work?

One thing for sure is that youcan't remain silent. You have to tactfully let her know how you feel and keep the communication gates open!

 

[canadianhitman]

Was I right, or was I right?

 

[Cutiebaby]

I'm real sorry to hear that bro! I know how you feel.
Did she get back with her ex or is she just having second thoughts?
Will she even consider trying to make things work?

One thing for sure is that youcan't remain silent. You have to tactfully let her know how you feel and keep the communication gates open!

no way he needs to leave her she clearly is not looking for communication...he took her out to a nice dinner and the dumb broad tells him he needs to make sleeping arrangements elsewhere...hello stick figure are you in there?????

 

[anthrax]

Let her go back to her ex
Maybe she'll then remember why she left him
She could then be back in a couple of weeks

 

[EnderJE]

Divorce her. Plain a simple. Does it hurt? Hell yes, but it will get better over time.

 

[StickFigure]

no way he needs to leave her she clearly is not looking for communication...he took her out to a nice dinner and the dumb broad tells him he needs to make sleeping arrangements elsewhere...hello stick figure are you in there?????

There's no space between StickFigure.

 

[HumorMe]

There's no space between StickFigure.

Sorry but that was funny!

 

[-SD-]

Why the fuck do guys volunteer for this kind of shit? I will never understand it in a million years.
Yes, volunteer for it because:
Divorced woman 6 years older with teenage son that isnt yours= nothing but problems. How long has she been divorced? It all boils down to basics folks.