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RADAR
Well-known member
This is for anyone who lives in Atlanta, who has ever lived in Atlanta, has
visited Atlanta, ever plans to visit Atlanta, knows anyone who lives in Atlanta,
knows anyone who has ever visited Atlanta or anyone who has ever heard of
Atlanta, Georgia.
Atlanta is composed mostly of one way streets. The only way to get out of
downtown Atlanta is to turn around and start over when you reach Greenville,
South Carolina. All directions start with, "Go down Peachtree" and include the
phrase, "When you see the Waffle House." Except that in Cobb County, all
directions begin with, "Go to the Big Chicken."
Peachtree Street has no beginning and no end, and is not to be confused with
Peachtree Circle, Peachtree Place, Peachtree Lane, Peachtree Road, Peachtree
Parkway, Peachtree Run, Peachtree Trace, Peachtree Ave, Peachtree
Commons, Peachtree Battle, Peachtree Corners, New Peachtree, Old Peachtree,
West Peachtree, Peachtree-Dunwoody, Peachtree-Chamblee, or Peachtree
Industrial Boulevard.
Atlantans only know their way to work and their way home. If you ask anyone
for directions they will always send you down Peachtree.
Atlanta is the home of Coca-Cola. That's all we drink here, so don't ask for any
other soft drink unless it's made by Coca-Cola. And even then, it's still "Coke."
Gate One at Atlanta's Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport is 32 miles
away from the Main Concourse, so wear sneakers and pack a lunch.
It's impossible to go around a block and wind up on the street you started on.
The Chamber of Commerce calls it a "scenic drive" and has posted signs to
that effect, so that out-of-towners don't feel lost, they're just on a "scenic
drive."
The 8:00 AM rush hour is from 6:30 to 10:30 AM. The 5:00 PM rush hour is
from 3:00 to 7:30 PM. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday afternoon, and lasts
through 2:00 AM Saturday.
"Sir" and "Ma'am" are used by the person speaking to you if there's a remote
possibility that you're at least 30 minutes older than they are.
A native can only pronounce Ponce De Leon Avenue, so do not attempt the
Spanish pronunciation. People will simply tilt their heads to the right and stare
at you. The Atlanta pronunciation is "pahnss duh LEE-on".
The falling of one rain drop causes all drivers to immediately forget all traffic
rules; so will daylight savings time, a girl applying eye shadow in the next car,
or a flat tire three lanes over
If a single snowflake falls, the city is paralyzed for three days, and it's on all the
channels as a news flash every 15 minutes for a month. All the grocery stores
will be sold out of milk, bread, bottled water, toilet paper, and beer. If there is a
remote chance of snow, and if it does snow, people will be on the corner selling
"I survived the blizzard" tee-shirts, not to mention the fact that all schools will
close at the
slightest possible chance of snow.
If you are standing on a corner and a MARTA Bus stops, you're expected to
get on and go somewhere.
Construction on Peachtree Street is a way of life and a permanent form of
entertainment, especially when a water line is tapped and Atlanta's version of
Old Faithful erupts. Construction crews are not doing their jobs properly
unless they close down all major streets during rush hour.
Atlantans are very proud of our racetrack, known as road Atlanta. It winds
throughout the city on the Interstates, hence it's name. Actually, I-285, the loop
that encircles Atlanta and has a posted speed limit of 55mph (but you have to
maintain 80 mph just to keep from getting run over), is known to truckers as
"The Watermelon 500."
Georgia 400 is our equivalent of the Autobahn. You will rarely see a semi-truck
on GA 400, because even the truck drivers are intimidated by the oversized
SUV-wielding housewives racing home after a grueling day at the salon or the
tennis match to meet their children at the school bus coming home from the
college prep preschool.
The last thing you want to do is give another driver the finger, unless your car
is armored, your trigger finger is itchy and your AK-47 has a full clip.
The pollen count is off the national scale for unhealthy, which starts at 120!
Atlanta is usually in the 2,000 to 4,000 range. All roads,vehicles, houses, etc. are
yellow from March 28th to July 15th. If you have any allergies you will die. But
other than that, it's a great place to live!
Possums sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.
There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Georgia.
There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Georgia, plus a couple no
one's seen before.
Squirrels will eat anything.
Unknown critters love to dig holes under tomato plants.
Raccoons will test your crop of melons and let you know when they are ripe.
If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls; it bites.
A tractor is NOT an all-terrain vehicle. They do get stuck.
"Onced" and "Twiced" are words.
It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy.
Fire ants consider your flesh a picnic.
People actually grow, eat and like okra!
"Fixinto" is one word (I'm fixinto go to da sto)
There ain't no such thing as "lunch." There's only dinner and then there's
supper.
Sweet Tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're 2.
"Backards" and "forwards" means I know everything about you.
'Jeet?' is actually a phrase meaning "Did you eat?"
You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is.You
work until you're done or it's too dark to see.
You know you're from Georgia if:
You measure distance in minutes.
You know what a 'dawg' is.
You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it, no matter
what time of the year.
All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect
or animal.
You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
You carry jumper cables in your car... for your OWN car.
You know what "cow tipping" and "snipe hunting" are.
You only own four spices: salt, pepper, Texas Pete and catsup.
The local papers cover national and international news on one page but require
6 pages for local gossip and sports.
You think that the first day deer season is a national holiday.
You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit "a little warm."
You know all four seasons: Almost summer, summer, still summer, and
Christmas.
You know whether another Georgian is from north, south or middle Georgia as
soon as they open their mouth.
Going to Walmart is a favorite past time known as "goin wal-martin" or off to
"Wally World".
You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good pinto-bean weather.
A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola, or pop...it's a Coke, regardless of
brand or flavor, Example: "What kinda coke you want?"
Fried Catfish is "the other white meat."
RADAR
visited Atlanta, ever plans to visit Atlanta, knows anyone who lives in Atlanta,
knows anyone who has ever visited Atlanta or anyone who has ever heard of
Atlanta, Georgia.
Atlanta is composed mostly of one way streets. The only way to get out of
downtown Atlanta is to turn around and start over when you reach Greenville,
South Carolina. All directions start with, "Go down Peachtree" and include the
phrase, "When you see the Waffle House." Except that in Cobb County, all
directions begin with, "Go to the Big Chicken."
Peachtree Street has no beginning and no end, and is not to be confused with
Peachtree Circle, Peachtree Place, Peachtree Lane, Peachtree Road, Peachtree
Parkway, Peachtree Run, Peachtree Trace, Peachtree Ave, Peachtree
Commons, Peachtree Battle, Peachtree Corners, New Peachtree, Old Peachtree,
West Peachtree, Peachtree-Dunwoody, Peachtree-Chamblee, or Peachtree
Industrial Boulevard.
Atlantans only know their way to work and their way home. If you ask anyone
for directions they will always send you down Peachtree.
Atlanta is the home of Coca-Cola. That's all we drink here, so don't ask for any
other soft drink unless it's made by Coca-Cola. And even then, it's still "Coke."
Gate One at Atlanta's Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport is 32 miles
away from the Main Concourse, so wear sneakers and pack a lunch.
It's impossible to go around a block and wind up on the street you started on.
The Chamber of Commerce calls it a "scenic drive" and has posted signs to
that effect, so that out-of-towners don't feel lost, they're just on a "scenic
drive."
The 8:00 AM rush hour is from 6:30 to 10:30 AM. The 5:00 PM rush hour is
from 3:00 to 7:30 PM. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday afternoon, and lasts
through 2:00 AM Saturday.
"Sir" and "Ma'am" are used by the person speaking to you if there's a remote
possibility that you're at least 30 minutes older than they are.
A native can only pronounce Ponce De Leon Avenue, so do not attempt the
Spanish pronunciation. People will simply tilt their heads to the right and stare
at you. The Atlanta pronunciation is "pahnss duh LEE-on".
The falling of one rain drop causes all drivers to immediately forget all traffic
rules; so will daylight savings time, a girl applying eye shadow in the next car,
or a flat tire three lanes over
If a single snowflake falls, the city is paralyzed for three days, and it's on all the
channels as a news flash every 15 minutes for a month. All the grocery stores
will be sold out of milk, bread, bottled water, toilet paper, and beer. If there is a
remote chance of snow, and if it does snow, people will be on the corner selling
"I survived the blizzard" tee-shirts, not to mention the fact that all schools will
close at the
slightest possible chance of snow.
If you are standing on a corner and a MARTA Bus stops, you're expected to
get on and go somewhere.
Construction on Peachtree Street is a way of life and a permanent form of
entertainment, especially when a water line is tapped and Atlanta's version of
Old Faithful erupts. Construction crews are not doing their jobs properly
unless they close down all major streets during rush hour.
Atlantans are very proud of our racetrack, known as road Atlanta. It winds
throughout the city on the Interstates, hence it's name. Actually, I-285, the loop
that encircles Atlanta and has a posted speed limit of 55mph (but you have to
maintain 80 mph just to keep from getting run over), is known to truckers as
"The Watermelon 500."
Georgia 400 is our equivalent of the Autobahn. You will rarely see a semi-truck
on GA 400, because even the truck drivers are intimidated by the oversized
SUV-wielding housewives racing home after a grueling day at the salon or the
tennis match to meet their children at the school bus coming home from the
college prep preschool.
The last thing you want to do is give another driver the finger, unless your car
is armored, your trigger finger is itchy and your AK-47 has a full clip.
The pollen count is off the national scale for unhealthy, which starts at 120!
Atlanta is usually in the 2,000 to 4,000 range. All roads,vehicles, houses, etc. are
yellow from March 28th to July 15th. If you have any allergies you will die. But
other than that, it's a great place to live!
Possums sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.
There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Georgia.
There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Georgia, plus a couple no
one's seen before.
Squirrels will eat anything.
Unknown critters love to dig holes under tomato plants.
Raccoons will test your crop of melons and let you know when they are ripe.
If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls; it bites.
A tractor is NOT an all-terrain vehicle. They do get stuck.
"Onced" and "Twiced" are words.
It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy.
Fire ants consider your flesh a picnic.
People actually grow, eat and like okra!
"Fixinto" is one word (I'm fixinto go to da sto)
There ain't no such thing as "lunch." There's only dinner and then there's
supper.
Sweet Tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're 2.
"Backards" and "forwards" means I know everything about you.
'Jeet?' is actually a phrase meaning "Did you eat?"
You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is.You
work until you're done or it's too dark to see.
You know you're from Georgia if:
You measure distance in minutes.
You know what a 'dawg' is.
You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it, no matter
what time of the year.
All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect
or animal.
You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
You carry jumper cables in your car... for your OWN car.
You know what "cow tipping" and "snipe hunting" are.
You only own four spices: salt, pepper, Texas Pete and catsup.
The local papers cover national and international news on one page but require
6 pages for local gossip and sports.
You think that the first day deer season is a national holiday.
You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit "a little warm."
You know all four seasons: Almost summer, summer, still summer, and
Christmas.
You know whether another Georgian is from north, south or middle Georgia as
soon as they open their mouth.
Going to Walmart is a favorite past time known as "goin wal-martin" or off to
"Wally World".
You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good pinto-bean weather.
A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola, or pop...it's a Coke, regardless of
brand or flavor, Example: "What kinda coke you want?"
Fried Catfish is "the other white meat."
RADAR
