wedding etiquette question

[Carmen]

My stepfather (my mother's second husband) is getting remarried at the end of april in Costa Rica.
He wants my 2 kids to be in his wedding party and said that he would pay for us to go. (its obviously going to be a very small wedding since who the hell wants to travel all the way to costa rica for a wedding- we are not costa rican or whatever people are there).
Anyway, its a black tie wedding (even more annoying). His fiance is making the travel plans and putting us up in a room and renting my son a tux, but there will be plenty of other expenses; i have to get my daughter shoes and a gown (she's 8), passports for 3 (not sure what the fee is), meals, transportation to and from the airports (can get quite expensive here). My mother said i should just hand him a receipt for these items as they come up. That he's got plenty of money despite him normally being a bit cheap, and money is tight for me, and that if he wants me to go, he should pay. plus, she says i'm his only daughter (stepdaughter, but whatever).
I think i'd feel so rude doing that. Should i ask him to pay? should i just hand him the receipt? should i get a third job and shut up? should i pay AND give a gift, and if so, WHAT?

 

[EnderJE]

Ask him. And bring company for yourself.

 

[hamstershaver]

since hes got money and he offered to pay for your trip, im sure if you explained your financial situation to him he would help you out

 

[SoKlueles]

dang i agree with the hairybutted rodent

 

[WODIN]

since hes got money and he offered to pay for your trip, im sure if you explained your financial situation to him he would help you out

yepper.

 

[Carmen]

since hes got money and he offered to pay for your trip, im sure if you explained your financial situation to him he would help you out

he knows my financial situation cause he's also my boss and signs my paychecks. but he's oblivious about things that concern... concern. he's not a caring person, so i'd have to be very obvious and say "what about my other expenses?" but i'd feel like such a prick.
ender- believe me, i'd like to bring some company but its not really an appropriate time/place for that.

 

[EnderJE]

he knows my financial situation cause he's also my boss and signs my paychecks. but he's oblivious about things that concern... concern. he's not a caring person, so i'd have to be very obvious and say "what about my other expenses?" but i'd feel like such a prick.
ender- believe me, i'd like to bring some company but its not really an appropriate time/place for that.

Okay, just an idea. I'd still ask him about the other expenses...expecially the telephone expense. I got a feeling that you're going to be making an enchanted call that evening.

 

[WODIN]

Get the company credit cards then and use those. LOL!!

 

[hamstershaver]

he knows my financial situation cause he's also my boss and signs my paychecks. but he's oblivious about things that concern... concern. he's not a caring person, so i'd have to be very obvious and say "what about my other expenses?" but i'd feel like such a prick.
ender- believe me, i'd like to bring some company but its not really an appropriate time/place for that.

well thats what im saying, you need to tell him directly about your financial situation, i dont think there is anything "prick" about that

 

[Carmen]

Okay, just an idea. I'd still ask him about the other expenses...expecially the telephone expense. I got a feeling that you're going to be making an enchanted call that evening.

yeah, except my cell won't work there and since i'm not paying for the room, any overseas phone calls will result in 20 questions from my family.
i'm thinking "phone card".

anyway, i just feel funny saying "hey, you know i'm poor... you gonna pay for my food and clothes too?"

omg, i need clothes.

 

[Carmen]

Get the company credit cards then and use those. LOL!!

<-- in charge of all company spending. which is pretty laughable if you knew about me and math/numbers/money.
my dad got furious with me when i borrowed his lexus to go to the chamber of commerce one time and stopped at a shoe store (with his card) to shop instead of going back to the office.
luckily my mom (his exwife) and every other woman in the company defended my actions. its not like i actually bought anything.

 

[Carmen]

well thats what im saying, you need to tell him directly about your financial situation, i dont think there is anything "prick" about that

hmm... ok, thanks hammy... i guess i gotta work up some courage to do so.

 

[Raina]

I don't think that's rude. It's no more rude than a bridesmaid telling a bride that she wants help paying for an $800 bridesmaid dress. The person planning a wedding has a responsibility not to impose that kind of financial drain on people in or attending the event. You're being invited there to share his special day, and I think there's nothing wrong with saying that despite his offer to fly you there, there are other expenses too.

 

[jerseyart]

I thought for sure the question was going to be "up till how long before the ceremony is it not considered impolite to sleep with the groom."

 

[EnderJE]

omg, i need clothes.

Well, I can help you out there. I'll send you some string. Use it for work.

 

[marshallmadman]

When is the wedding? If you find yourself in the need of a cabana boy, I could possibly offer my services.

 

[Carmen]

I thought for sure the question was going to be "up till how long before the ceremony is it not considered impolite to sleep with the groom."

ok, thats just sick mr. sicko. simply sick.










i'm proud of you.

 

[Carmen]

When is the wedding? If you find yourself in the need of a cabana boy, I could possibly offer my services.

lol... end of april. can you carry my luggage around? i plan on having one suitcase just for shoes.

 

[marshallmadman]

lol... end of april. can you carry my luggage around? i plan on having one suitcase just for shoes.

I am very strong for a cabana boy. I am sure that you will find my services most satisfactory.

 

[EnderJE]

So, what's the verdict? What'cha gonna do?

 

[Carmen]

So, what's the verdict? What'cha gonna do?

i dunno... i'll probably ask him if he could help me out with some expenses if i can build up the courage. i'll let you know how it goes.

 

[Ulcasterdropout]

You're always so careful to not step on people toes...
You're so sweet

 

[Whiskey]

explain to him that if you and your kids are to go, that since you are cash strapped right now, that he would have to pay for any and all expenses, or else you won't be able to make it

Whiskey

 

[Carmen]

You're always so careful to not step on people toes...
You're so sweet

awww, thanks hon.

 

[Carmen]

explain to him that if you and your kids are to go, that since you are cash strapped right now, that he would have to pay for any and all expenses, or else you won't be able to make it

Whiskey

yeah, i'm gonna try. i hate having to do that.
anyone have any idea about what's an appropriate gift when your parents get married? you'd think *I* would know, this will be wedding #7 i think for my parents.