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Wedding band etiquette

Werd

Werd

New member
A question that never mattered to me but my guy asked me this weekend. What is the proper time for a widower to remove his wedding band?

I was quite frankly taken aback by him asking me as it matters not to me. I knew his late wife and thought she was a lovely woman. One of the things that I love and admire so much about him was his dedication to her till the day she died.

So how 'bout it? What is a socially proper?
 
I know people who never wear wedding bands and I know one guy who wore his til he died even though his wife preceded him by 8 years. I would think 1 year would seem appropriate.
 
That is what I thought...

He was actually being quite thoughtful of my feelings in asking but as I told him, the thought never occured to me as he is very kind and thoughtful in all his actions towards me. I don't feel disrespected at all.

He was kind of sweet saying that he only continued to wear the band as it is a very handsome ring and not because of the symbol of his marriage. Personally, I think he is fibbing a bit but I told him that it honestly didn't bother me. And I did agree that it truly is a handsome ring LOL.

He is a public figure and has been painfully careful in OUR relationship so as not to cause any negative light to fall on ME and at the same time wanting to honor his late wife.
 
I would imagine that for it to have any meaning, it would have to be tied to his actions.

Since he is already involved with you, and the two of you are being seen together out in public, it might appear hypocritical to some that he is still wearing his band.

Don't get me wrong. Fuck what anyone else thinks. But superficial concerns and the good opinion of others is what etiquette is all about:)
 
No coverbands, yech... If you can afford it, go all out and get some real music. May I suggest Toots and the Maytals? I cooked for Mr. Hibbert on a few occasions while he and his band were in NY, ital-strictly, and can say that a good time would be had by all.

uh... oops. Wedding band. Got it.

Now. If he is ready to ask, he is ready to take it off.
 
ChefWide said:
No coverbands, yech... If you can afford it, go all out and get some real music. May I suggest Toots and the Maytals? I cooked for Mr. Hibbert on a few occasions while he and his band were in NY, ital-strictly, and can say that a good time would be had by all.

uh... oops. Wedding band. Got it.

Now. If he is ready to ask, he is ready to take it off.
Click to expand...

This was a conversation that HE started. LOL The thought never once occured to me to ask. I am not about sweating a guy but I wont take shit either.

I guess we'll see then, eh? He has been HEAVY HINTING that he is ready to pop the question...

He made me a very serious promise last week where the preamble began... "When we are married...." on one of our first public outings. We have been seeing each other privately since late May/early June.
 
When he pops the question, can we schedule a private bachelorette party? I will bake you a bunt and serve it like a vertical hoola hoop.
 
lol he's fishing ;)

chef is right, he is ready to take it off, so figure out where you want to stand with him before you reply

this is really quite sad :(
 
GoldenDelicious said:
lol he's fishing ;)

chef is right, he is ready to take it off, so figure out where you want to stand with him before you reply

this is really quite sad :(
Click to expand...


LOL@Chef...

But I do concurr.

GoldenDelicious - what is sad?
 
Werd said:
what is sad?
Click to expand...

That you will get married before we get the chance to do the Sacred Wheelbarrow Dance all over a cabana in the Bahamas.
 
Make a little ceremony out of it? I'm thinking something where you each say a toast to his lady, then he takes off the ring and puts it away somewhere safe.
 
digger said:
Make a little ceremony out of it? I'm thinking something where you each say a toast to his lady, then he takes off the ring and puts it away somewhere safe.
Click to expand...

Digger THAT is a wonderful idea!!! I have JUST THE OUTFIT!!! He gave me an exquisite tux (it is oldfashioned style jacket - double breasted with tails and I look sooooooooooo cute in it!!) that I joked he would have to take me out someplace wonderful for an excuse to wear it.

WHAT BETTER REASON?!

His late wife was a wonderful woman and his marriage to her was a testament to what a tremendous heart he has. I knew he loved and respected his wife for who she was (she was truly courageous) but I also knew that he never loved his wife passionately. You see, he actively dated many women and proposed to her the day she was diagnosed with end stage cancer. She was given only one year AT BEST to live. Because of him she got four years on top of that!

When I asked him why he specifically married her even though he had no passionate love for her his answer affected me profoundly. As his eyes welled up with tears he said, "I married her because I just couldn't let my buddy die alone."

Though she had a brilliant career as a very successful business woman she was young, had never married and had no children or large loving extended family. He IMMEDIATELY retired and took care of her every need and was the loving, dutiful husband until she took her last breath.
 
Werd said:
A question that never mattered to me but my guy asked me this weekend. What is the proper time for a widower to remove his wedding band?

I was quite frankly taken aback by him asking me as it matters not to me. I knew his late wife and thought she was a lovely woman. One of the things that I love and admire so much about him was his dedication to her till the day she died.

So how 'bout it? What is a socially proper?
Click to expand...


There really is no correct answer except for whenever he is ready. However, one should not enter into a relationship, especially a serious one, unless he has already removed the ring!!! (It's not fair to the new person to not get 100% out of the person they are giving 100% to!!!)
 
Oh my god. You're going out with Bob Guccione.
 
Werd said:
Digger THAT is a wonderful idea!!! I have JUST THE OUTFIT!!! He gave me an exquisite tux (it is oldfashioned style jacket - double breasted with tails and I look sooooooooooo cute in it!!) that I joked he would have to take me out someplace wonderful for an excuse to wear it.

WHAT BETTER REASON?!

His late wife was a wonderful woman and his marriage to her was a testament to what a tremendous heart he has. I knew he loved and respected his wife for who she was (she was truly courageous) but I also knew that he never loved his wife passionately. You see, he actively dated many women and proposed to her the day she was diagnosed with end stage cancer. She was given only one year AT BEST to live. Because of him she got four years on top of that!

When I asked him why he specifically married her even though he had no passionate love for her his answer affected me profoundly. As his eyes welled up with tears he said, "I married her because I just couldn't let my buddy die alone."

Though she had a brilliant career as a very successful business woman she was young, had never married and had no children or large loving extended family. He IMMEDIATELY retired and took care of her every need and was the loving, dutiful husband until she took her last breath.
Click to expand...


wow... this world would be a better place if there were more people like that
 
ripper2 said:
wow... this world would be a better place if there were more people like that
Click to expand...

He's no angel - I see his flaws clearly. But his heart is amazing and I KNOW he loves me and my kids.

It took me a long time to realize what REAL LOVE and RESPECT is... but I am happy that my eyes are wide open now.

I will suggest the ceremony thing to him. I think that he will LOVE the idea. :)
 
digger said:
Make a little ceremony out of it? I'm thinking something where you each say a toast to his lady, then he takes off the ring and puts it away somewhere safe.
Click to expand...

Dam classy Digger. :)
 
Werd said:
GoldenDelicious - what is sad?
Click to expand...
just thinking of how it would feel to still be in love and your partner dying :(

then taking the ring off to replace it with another :(

i know you can love more than one person, but...its sad :( :(
 
GoldenDelicious said:
just thinking of how it would feel to still be in love and your partner dying :(:
Click to expand...

What was even worse was that when she did die all the gold-digging bitches came SWARMING out of the woodwork. It was disgusting he told me, as total strange bitches would constantly come over to him and make all kinds of truly tasteless remarks about his "new bacherlordom" followed by all sorts of indecent proposals. He HATED to leave his home.


GoldenDelicious said:
then taking the ring off to replace it with another :(
Click to expand...

That is why the thought never occured to me to even make mention of it regardless of how strongly he is pursuing our relationship.

GoldenDelicious said:
i know you can love more than one person, but...its sad :( :(
Click to expand...

Honestly, because he is several years my senior I think about the very real possibility that I will be widowed at an early age.... I don't even like to think it, let alone let the words escape my lips. He is the first person who has ever treated me with the kindness, decency, respect and love that he does and I never ever want it to stop. I think I may die when the day comes for me to say good-bye to him.
 
An 94-year old man went to his doctor and told him that he was thinking of marrying a 17-year-old girl.

The doctor blanched. "But-- but-- are you sure? I hate to say this, but it could mean death!"

The old man thought for a second, and sighed.




"Well, if she dies, she dies."
 
Werd said:
He was kind of sweet saying that he only continued to wear the band as it is a very handsome ring and not because of the symbol of his marriage. Personally, I think he is fibbing a bit but I told him that it honestly didn't bother me. And I did agree that it truly is a handsome ring LOL.
Click to expand...
IMO that was the wrong answer,the ring IS a symbol.
 
digger said:
An 94-year old man went to his doctor and told him that he was thinking of marrying a 17-year-old girl.

The doctor blanched. "But-- but-- are you sure? I hate to say this, but it could mean death!"

The old man thought for a second, and sighed.




"Well, if she dies, she dies."
Click to expand...


HEHehehehehehehehehhehehehehee

FOR SURE this will end up in someone's email box this AM!

That is TWO I owe ya fer Digger! ;)
 
4everhung said:
IMO that was the wrong answer,the ring IS a symbol.
Click to expand...

No.... the discussion was about HIS feelings about HIS current wedding band so there was no "wrong" answer.
 
digger said:
An 94-year old man went to his doctor and told him that he was thinking of marrying a 17-year-old girl.

The doctor blanched. "But-- but-- are you sure? I hate to say this, but it could mean death!"

The old man thought for a second, and sighed.




"Well, if she dies, she dies."
Click to expand...


Sadie is being arrested for pushing her 93 year old husband of 71 years out of their 5th floor condo window to his death after she caught him having a threesome with two 20 year old gymnasts.

"Why did you do it, Sadie?" asked the officer on the scene.

"I figured, at his age, if he can fuck, he can fly."
 
ChefWide said:
Sadie is being arrested for pushing her 93 year old husband of 71 years out of their 5th floor condo window to his death after she caught him having a threesome with two 20 year old gymnasts.

"Why did you do it, Sadie?" asked the officer on the scene.

"I figured, at his age, if he can fuck, he can fly."
Click to expand...

OMG! Can you hear me laughing now?!?!

Someone's email box is going to be quite busy this AM!!! ;)
 
Oh fuck off Chef, I was drinking when I read that and now I've got Orange Juice all over my keyboard.

Thanks a lot :lmao:
 
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