Update on the girl I am into

[casualbb]

It was 11 pm by the time I got done with what I needed to do. Called her, apologized over and over again. We did end up going out at around 1am and hung out till 4 or 5 in the morning.

Since then, we have been out just about everyday, I never took the chance to make a move on her, again, didn't want to do something that I might regret, unless I am really sure about.

Wednesday night we hung out, just sat and talked.

I don't want to have to say this but it's time for some tough love: you need to grow some balls. "Apologized over and over?" You're sending her the message that she's doing you a favor by going out with you. Where's the self-confidence in that?

"We have been out just about everyday, I never took the chance to make a move on her."

1) You're smothering her. Seeing someone everyday is predictable and thus neither exciting nor romantic

2) If you want to kiss her, then do it. None of this wishy-washy business, just do it. And make no excuses about it. It may not be PC, but the whole "sweep them off their feet" deal really is what women want.

3) It sends the message that you have nothing else to do with your time, and obviously no other women in your life if you're willing to invest so much time in her. It makes you look less desirable.

The good news is, despite your blundering, she's obviously into you. Who else would hang around for so long? So don't freak out about the trip, just WAIT TO CALL HER AFTERWARDS. If you call her immediately it screams "desperate," just play it cool.

-casual

 

[Frackal]

She's going to dump youif you dont work on getting into her pants a little harder

 

[-SD-]

She's going to dump youif you dont work on getting into her pants a little harder

Sounds paradoxical, but true. The only way you can become unpredictable and exciting at this point is to act more like a horn dog and go for the ass. You will need your A game at this point as well.

 

[confusedmushie]

I don't want to have to say this but it's time for some tough love: you need to grow some balls. "Apologized over and over?" You're sending her the message that she's doing you a favor by going out with you. Where's the self-confidence in that?

"We have been out just about everyday, I never took the chance to make a move on her."

1) You're smothering her. Seeing someone everyday is predictable and thus neither exciting nor romantic

2) If you want to kiss her, then do it. None of this wishy-washy business, just do it. And make no excuses about it. It may not be PC, but the whole "sweep them off their feet" deal really is what women want.

3) It sends the message that you have nothing else to do with your time, and obviously no other women in your life if you're willing to invest so much time in her. It makes you look less desirable.

The good news is, despite your blundering, she's obviously into you. Who else would hang around for so long? So don't freak out about the trip, just WAIT TO CALL HER AFTERWARDS. If you call her immediately it screams "desperate," just play it cool.

-casual

Thanks for the advices.

Ian

 

[confusedmushie]

heh you say 'is sex the only thing?' yet you say that if it were
just 'some' girl you'd have no problem jumping on her right away, and then you say you guess your ethics and beliefs are just different ( in a better, more noble way ? ) heh .. not from the standpoint of that 'some' girl.

I divide the two into different catagories. Sex is NOT the most important thing to me. If I am out and some random club chick hits on me, I'd have no problem having sex with her. To me, that's two people looking for the same thing and forget each other the next day. With her, it's different. I have more respect and am also looking for more then just a one night stand. Therefore, sex in this aspect is not as important to me.

Ethics, hmmm, well, here's the thing. When I talk to a girl, the very first thing that pops up is NOT always 'sex'. It seems on this board, everyone's all about hitting it and moving on. Not me.

Ian

 

[confusedmushie]

She's going to dump youif you dont work on getting into her pants a little harder

See, here's the thing. We've talked and she was involved in a pretty serious relationship for 4 years. She asked me to let us take our time and take it slow. That's why I am moving so slow, respect I guess. Like I mentioned, if it doesn't workout romantically with her, it's not going to be the end of the world. I'd rather have her as a good friend then not having her around at all. Despite everyone's suggestions, I think I will just take it the way I know how, slow and earn her trust.

As for me not getting many chicks, well, I don't hook up every time I go out, but there are a few chicks around me that I can have at any time. Just not interested at the moment.

Ian

 

[Frackal]

You might be on to something...who knows...I'd still try to get some good kissing in though if nothing else...kissing is both safe and intimate

 

[-SD-]

See, here's the thing. We've talked and she was involved in a pretty serious relationship for 4 years. She asked me to let us take our time and take it slow. That's why I am moving so slow, respect I guess. Like I mentioned, if it doesn't workout romantically with her, it's not going to be the end of the world. I'd rather have her as a good friend then not having her around at all. Despite everyone's suggestions, I think I will just take it the way I know how, slow and earn her trust.

As for me not getting many chicks, well, I don't hook up every time I go out, but there are a few chicks around me that I can have at any time. Just not interested at the moment.

Ian

Sounds like she is dictating to you how "things are going to be". You are the man bro, youve got to take what you want when you want it. Dont ever let a woman try to suppress you or lead you around by the nose. If you say youd rather have her as a good friend then not around at all then I think you may have already admitted defeat concerning her.

 

[confusedmushie]

Sounds like she is dictating to you how "things are going to be". You are the man bro, youve got to take what you want when you want it. Dont ever let a woman try to suppress you or lead you around by the nose. If you say youd rather have her as a good friend then not around at all then I think you may have already admitted defeat concerning her.

Not admitting defeat. Just answering to the comments that are made on the thread. According to people here, it's either fuck her, or I'd end up with nothing. I don't believe that to be true.

I am leading her, but at the same time, giving her the respect that she's indirectly asked for. I've always been taught that to get respect, I must first show respect. Don't see her as a piece of meat.

Ian

 

[confusedmushie]

You might be on to something...who knows...I'd still try to get some good kissing in though if nothing else...kissing is both safe and intimate

I am......making out with her every chance I have. I haven't dated for so long and when I did date, I would say that 99% of all the girls made the move. I don't know, call me gay, but I never had to make the first move. It was always taken care off. Now, with her, she's the type that believes the guy should do everything, so I am slowly doing it.

We'll see what all this leads too. She's coming over for dinner tonight, I will be kicking my brother out of the house so I can be alone with her. We will see how she feels.

Ian