To what extent are you your body?

[Tatyana]

With all the make-over programs on telly right now, it seems like more and more people are buying into the idea that lives can be radically altered though make-overs.

Supposedly unattractive people who aer unhappy with their lives are transformed into supposedly more beautiful and happy people leading satisfying lives.

In reality, however, does reshaping the body radically change people's identities and experience of the world?

People use their bodies, through particular lifestyles to form an 'identity project'.

It is thought that body projects are a way for individuals to express themselves to feel good and gain some control over their lives, challenge accepted social ideas about what is normal or natural.

As bodybuilders, and in particular female bodybuilders, did your opinion of yourself and experience of yourself in the world alter as your body changed?

Do you think that you took up bodybuilding to feel good, exert control or challenge societal norms?

 

[slat1]

How my body looks is a result of how my life is being lived.
When I am on top of my game, confident, in control I look great.
When stress gets to me and I feel like I have no control I fall to pieces!

 

[Thandie]

I've always had a descent figure, which I think is why I've been able to model for all these years, but after bodybuilding, it has taking it to a whole new level. I feel so much better about myself. I love being lean and the feeling of having a six pack is amazing,(I always felt bloated, even while being thin) but feeling strong is the ultimate and it gives me a sense of security that I would not change for the world.

I have to lift heavier, LOL!

 

[nefertiti]

Realistically speaking, life is generally much easier as an attractive person. like money, it doesn't fix all woes...but it removes a few of them. I do believe some of those people experience a lot of postive changes.

 

[*ebony*]

i have met some of the happiest people totally content with the body they have, and so awesomely happy and appreciative of life and living every moment in peace, content and acceptance for what they have including their body....after all you have to take it with you everywhere you go. one of these wonderful people told me they live with their mind, and thoughts, because there possibilities are endless, and as for their body, well it is a gift and they could not stop thanking and appreciating that they were given one. they all love their bodies and take care of the fully, functional, and healthy body they were given. they can't find a single fault with themselves, and they treasure their body, and what does one do with something they value? you guys would take care of it. they accept it as is and all the changes it endures and appreciate it, they are some of the healthiest, happiest people i've met, body and soul.

 

[OneBreath]

Any advantages one may have in life because of being physically "attractive" are temporary. It seems impossible to be truly happier because of looking a certain way. Underlying our thoughts is always the nagging reality that eventually we will age, and our bodies will slowly deteriorate until we die.

Any happiness based on physcial appearance therefore seems to be false. Moreover, attempting to derive any happiness from physical appearance creates an inevitable future spike in mental suffering.

I envy those people ebonycurves speaks of.

 

[*ebony*]

I totally understand what you are saying. It took me until I was 36 years old to TOTALLY accept my body and ME, period. Until that point there was always something that I hated, was disatisfied with, wanted to change (in an unhealthy way). Then I *got it* = I was worth way more than the sum total of all of my parts - both inside and out.

Ironically enough, these revelations didn't come to me until I was totally supporting myself and my children with MY BODY - not prostitution, but modeling and dancing. I was FLAWLESS and had many look on me in a way that many never had before and it felt REALLY REALLY GOOD for *a second*. Then I realized that I wanted more, to be valued for more than "just my face" "just my body". So I started to work on the inside in a HYUGE way, something I'd always been afraid to do for I thought, "What if I look inside and I don't like what I find?"

I know, I'm chuckling now that I think of it.

The answer, of course is: "If you don't like what you find, you just change it."

I liked A LOT of what I found and realized that my TRUE BEAUTY was everything that was beneath the "fancy window-dressing."

Now I am at a point where I want to maintain the quality of MY LIFE by taking good care of my body.

yeah! i'm so glad you realized it. if you look around you can see people who have lived their whole life without knowing this and so many others who don't. you are very fortunate.

about your answer, how about instead of "If you don't like what you find, you just change it." I am just realizing the power of acceptance..just unbelievable. so i think if you don't like what you find, then one should simply accept it. TRUE Acceptance has this amazing power of relief, i can feel the resistance towards letting the "negativity" i see with myself ebbing, seeping out of my thoughts, my soul, my body. what we resist will always persist. so why not let go of what we don't want. Letting go will only come after acceptance. forgiveness can only come after acceptance. TRUE freedom can only come after acceptance. peace can only come after acceptance.

Any advantages one may have in life because of being physically "attractive" are temporary. It seems impossible to be truly happier because of looking a certain way. Underlying our thoughts is always the nagging reality that eventually we will age, and our bodies will slowly deteriorate until we die.

Any happiness based on physcial appearance therefore seems to be false. Moreover, attempting to derive any happiness from physical appearance creates an inevitable future spike in mental suffering.

I envy those people ebonycurves speaks of.

Did i ever Thank you?.....Thank you

lol, i told them the same thing, that i envy them. they just laughed and smiled and said "of what?" and i said "everything." and they just smiled and said "but you do have everything, now just let it come to you, do not envy for there is nothing to be envied"

yet i would be lying if i said i still did not envy them, because they experience the tao, no they live the knowledge of the toa.

 

[*ebony*]

okay so i couldn't help but think about things i envy, after that post. why did they tell me not to envy? doesn't that give you something to aspire to. and then it hit me...lol, i always answer my own questions. did you guys ever notice that? that you know so many answers to your own questions....seriously just be quit and will hear it. anyways so that is why one should not envy. it is a resistance. how can you appreciate properly what you are and all that you have if you think you do not have it or need it, or i wish i can have, feel, do whatever or whoever it is you envy. so i have been thinking what it is i need to accept that triggered the feeling. i mean when i accept then the feeling of "i wish" will dissipate and you can get an evan better feeling of "i am" the trick is not associate the i am with anything negative afterword. it is what it is, now let it be, and when you let it be you let it go, and when you let go, you can feel a lightness in you. i have been experiencing alot of lightness in my life. i don't know if some of that made sense to you but everything starts with though, your thoughts about yourself, about the world can be your best friend, you haven, your peace, yet you can use it just as easily to hate, hurt, and abuse people, and yourself.

 

[Tatyana]

Realistically speaking, life is generally much easier as an attractive person. like money, it doesn't fix all woes...but it removes a few of them. I do believe some of those people experience a lot of postive changes.

You might find Naomi Wolf's book 'The Beauty Myth' quite interesting.

Yes, historically, there has been a 'professional beauty quotient', however there is a double edged sword to beauty.

How is a beautiful person to know if they got the job, the relationship, the promotion based on their talent, intelligence, personality, or was it due to their appearance?


Just consider how often you even see it on this forum that youth and beauty are often valued most highly over any other aspect of a woman. How is the beautiful woman going to feel knowing that her value is valid as long as she is beautiful? How does she know she is loved for who she is, rather than how she looks?

The body is the vehicle for our being in the world.

The experience of our body does seem to be on two different levels, the subjective, so if someone likes themselves, their experience is going to be positive, and the objective, where you assess yourself against others and consider other's opinion of how you look.

 

[Thandie]

You might find Naomi Wolf's book 'The Beauty Myth' quite interesting.

Yes, historically, there has been a 'professional beauty quotient', however there is a double edged sword to beauty.

How is a beautiful person to know if they got the job, the relationship, the promotion based on their talent, intelligence, personality, or was it due to their appearance?


Just consider how often you even see it on this forum that youth and beauty are often valued most highly over any other aspect of a woman. How is the beautiful woman going to feel knowing that her value is valid as long as she is beautiful? How does she know she is loved for who she is, rather than how she looks?

The body is the vehicle for our being in the world.

The experience of our body does seem to be on two different levels, the subjective, so if someone likes themselves, their experience is going to be positive, and the objective, where you assess yourself against others and consider other's opinion of how you look.

Wow, you really hit it home and opened an old wound I've been trying to bury most of my life.

I have spend my life wondering if I've gotten where I am because I'm attractive. It has opened more doors then I could have imagined. I came from a mother who puts great emphasis on beauty, to the point that when she sees me and I'm not put together she makes me feel terrible, so I always make sure to be put together. As a result I never know if its my intelligence that got me there or my looks. So, I find myself always learning more and more things, accomplishing new things every year, because I suspect I have to prove I am smart and can do anything.
Even, some people keep insisting I put on my website all my 'beauty' accomplishments with LOTS of pictures of myself, when I've accomplished far more with my intelligence.

I never know when a friend asks me for lunch or dinner or anything, if that friend is asking because he/she wants to spend time with ME or because is a way of walking around to show others they have an ice candy friend with them or to be used as a bait for men. I NEVER know!

I can't believe I'm posting this, but maybe I can help one person with it. Many people think being attractive is a gift, which probably is, but is also very painful.

Nuff said!