To set the record straight re: Werd

[jerseyart]

Since she has communicated to me her intent to post all the graphic and sordid details of our "meet up," I am writing this first as an attempt to sway public opinion to my side, as well as preempt any opportunity for her to cloud the disucssion with "facts", or "evidence", or "NJ State police reports"

I acknowledge that I did meet her last night, June 27 2004. So that part of her story is true. Everything else she will say is bald faced lie. For the record let me state that

(1) Clearly the woman was sweating me, both my roguish good looks, and my boyish charm.

(2) She did in fact concede that given the hypothetical situation of her having been born a man, my penis would be far larger than her own.

(3) I did see her naked.

(4)While I was intentionally trying to get her drunk, I never actually forced the drinks down her throat.

(5) She did order and receive four different desserts at the restaurant.

(6)After I dropped her off for the evening, she did immediately call me and ask me to come back.

(7) I have been on the the inside of her bedroon,with her, and can tell you the color of her sheets.

(8) Whatever permanent psychological or marital damage sustained by the elderly couple seated next to us at the bar was entirely her fault.

 

[perkele]

Thank you for setting the record straight.

 

[Deleted member 33117]

Thanks orb, I appreciate your honesty in this matter. It shows character.

 

[hardrock]

Did she give you a piggyback ride?

 

[Dial_tone]

lmao

 

[V-Machine]

Lol so did you get laid or not?

 

[Mr. dB]

Did she give you a piggyback ride?

ouch

 

[onebigab]

What color are her sheets?

 

[Deleted member 33117]

What color are her sheets?

Right. I be they are red, and have nothing less than a 600 thread count.

 

[jerseyart]

Lol so did you get laid or not?

If by "laid" you mean full genital contact and penetration, followed by her repeatedly yelling "please stop stallion, you're just too big for a small girl like me" then the answer is no.

If you mean any other kind of "actual" sexual contact whatsoever, the answer is still no.

But if by "laid" you mean 6 hours of post date masturbatory self abuse and fantasies involving Werd, then the answer is yes. And let me tell you fellas, she was good.

 

[jackangel]

somebody stop this man, he's out of control.

 

[Werd]

Since she has communicated to me her intent to post all the graphic and sordid details of our "meet up," I am writing this first as an attempt to sway public opinion to my side, as well as preempt any opportunity for her to cloud the disucssion with "facts", or "evidence", or "NJ State police reports"

I acknowledge that I did meet her last night, June 27 2004. So that part of her story is true. Everything else she will say is bald faced lie. For the record let me state that

(1) Clearly the woman was sweating me, both my roguish good looks, and my boyish charm.

*cough*

Who was it that kept saying, "God DAMN but you (insert ethnicity here) women sure have amazing skin!"

(2) She did in fact concede that given the hypothetical situation of her having been born a man, my penis would be far larger than her own.

Yes, but does your kitty taste like applejuice?

(3) I did see her naked.

True, but all the "important parts" were covered.

(4)While I was intentionally trying to get her drunk, I never actually forced the drinks down her throat.

LIAR!!!!

What was it that you said to the waiter as you gave him that extra heavy pre-tip tip? I think it was something to the effect of, "Keep em coming." How many sour apple martinis did I have? I lost count after 5, I think.

(5) She did order and receive four different desserts at the restaurant.

(6)After I dropped her off for the evening, she did immediately call me and ask me to come back.

(7) I have been on the the inside of her bedroon,with her, and can tell you the color of her sheets.

(8) Whatever permanent psychological or marital damage sustained by the elderly couple seated next to us at the bar was entirely her fault.

OOOO You are soooooooooooo lying! Clearly you were making a pass at the woman's husband. I was very embarrassed for you as he rejected your blatant sexual overtures.

I have never seen anyone so horribly twist the truth without actually lying. Sonofabitch! You sure you're not a politician?





Thanks Jersey - You are really a sweet guy. I had SUCH a great time last night....

 

[jerseyart]

*cough*

Who was it that kept saying, "God DAMN but you (insert ethnicity here) women sure have amazing skin!"

Surely you can't imagine you still have any credibility left with anyone, especially not after I cleverly PMed all 3 million + members of Elite with a "Werd is a pathological liar and has cooties" message.

And please, that was such an obvious and transparent attempt at copping a feel that I am embarassed for you not having picked up on the ploy.

For the record, I am technically (and by technically I refer to the fact that I never actually scored higher than a C average in high school biology) not a doctor, and am not "ordinarily" licensed or qualified to conduct extensive breast examinations, so whatever "opinions" I may have offered yesterday evening are at best suspect.

True, but all the "important parts" were covered.

Not in my imagination they weren't

LIAR!!!!

What was it that you said to the waiter as you gave him that extra heavy pre-tip tip? I think it was something to the effect of, "Keep em coming." How many sour apple martinis did I have? I lost count after 5, I think.

What I actually said is "My goal is to get her drunk this evening so as to take advantage of her in an inebriated condition. Make it your goal by not letting her glass go empty, and there is an extra large tip in it for you."

OOOO You are soooooooooooo lying! Clearly you were making a pass at the woman's husband. I was very embarrassed for you as he rejected your blatant sexual overtures.

Darlin, I was holding him up because he nearly passed out from your shameless display. Just be glad he didn't suffer heart failure, because it would have been completely your fault.

I have never seen anyone so horribly twist the truth without actually lying. Sonofabitch! You sure you're not a politician?

That's only because you hardly know me. If you did you would know instinctively that i will say or do whatever it takes to further my own self interest at the expense of others. It's not pretty, but I've learned to accept, and even embrace that side of me.

Thanks Jersey - You are really a sweet guy. I had SUCH a great time last night....

Of course you did. You were with me.

 

[Werd]

LOL I wuv u!

Now I gotta get out of here and buy a damned phone!

 

[biteme]

Now this is entertaining. So, did ya'll fuck or not?

 

[jerseyart]

Now this is entertaining. So, did ya'll fuck or not?

No bro, but I worked it hard. She's like a freaking ice queen. I have no clue how she was able to resist me. Maybe she's only into women, i don't know

I used all my best lines on her, like "nice outfit, wanna have sex" but she wasn't having it.

In all seriousness though, Werd is a trip, and kick ass fun to hang with. Her pics don't do her justice. She is "fuck a bruthah up" stunning.

 

[Werd]

*blush*

You are really sweet, Jersey.

I had an awesome time. You are truly a gentleman and a kind and decent friend; a rare find indeed. I can't remember the last time I had so much fun!

Tall, dark, handsome and witty = JerseyArt.




Biteme, you bastard. You believe everything u read on internet message boards?!

I have a boyfriend. (HOLY SHIT! DID I JUST SAY THAT OUT LOUD?!?!!!)

JerseyArt is a true gentleman and I am so glad that he is my friend.

 

[Y_lifter]

LOL I wuv u!

Now I gotta get out of here and buy a damned phone!

werd.. Be careful and don't use it near your Balls..

Something about lowering fertility or some such

 

[V-Machine]

I have a boyfriend. (HOLY SHIT! DID I JUST SAY THAT OUT LOUD?!?!!!)

.

Since when did that make a difference

 

[Code]

You are in for an emotional roller coaster that can only be compared to pulling 5 G's through outter space in a grocery cart.

 

[strongsmartsexy]

You are in for an emotional roller coaster that can only be compared to pulling 5 G's through outter space in a grocery cart.

I tried to pay for your groceries, but evidently I bought too many today, so I'll have to fill your cart later.


5G's

 

[sh4dowf4lcon]

From what I have heard, there is no reason to get her drunk, just have your way with her.

of course, I am sure those rumors are false,

 

[supersizeme]

i think werd's response has made it clear that there will be no exchanging of bodily fluids. i haven't seen the word "friend" used that many times since that song by Whodini

 

[jerseyart]

*blush*

You are really sweet, Jersey.

I had an awesome time. You are truly a gentleman and a kind and decent friend; a rare find indeed. I can't remember the last time I had so much fun!

OMGWTF. That's just not true. At minimum my behavior would justify a restraining order, if not full blown sexual assault charges. I can't believe you would do this to me!!!

Tall, dark, handsome and witty = JerseyArt.

That parts true. It even says so on all my business cards.

JerseyArt is a true gentleman and I am so glad that he is my friend.

Friends don't make other friends look like pussies by calling them "gentleman"

 

[Sub-Zero]

*blush*

You are really sweet, Jersey.

I had an awesome time. You are truly a gentleman and a kind and decent friend; a rare find indeed. I can't remember the last time I had so much fun!

Tall, dark, handsome and witty = JerseyArt.




Biteme, you bastard. You believe everything u read on internet message boards?!

I have a boyfriend. (HOLY SHIT! DID I JUST SAY THAT OUT LOUD?!?!!!)

JerseyArt is a true gentleman and I am so glad that he is my friend.

was this at chadwicks in DC? if so i heard your obnoxious drunken yelling.


oh, and you called him a friend, thats like a slap in the face

 

[jerseyart]

Do you believe that shit? What the hell did I ever do to her?

Dude, I swear, I totally tried to cop a feel. It isn't at all like she's claiming. I can even show you the bruise where she bitch slapped me afterwards

 

[Werd]

LOL You guys are too funny.

I have to give props to Code for the grocery cart comment. That shit was mad funny!

There are very few peeps that I call friend... VERY FEW. There was a timed when I was having major mental lapses and I was far less discriminating, say about 2 years or so ago.

Getting potentially put in harm's way by some "friends" about that time taught me some very valuable lessons indeed.

Jersey, sorry I was so down today on the phone. Getting my kids with a few articles of clothing in trashbags and no toys or other personal belongings kind of fucked w/my head a bit. I know, I know.... I should be used to shit like that by now. But if I live to be a thousand I don't think that I will EVER get used to how that asshole insists on playing these psychological warfare games at the kids' expense. What kind of parent continues to do shit like this even after all this time? A few more weeks and either we will all finally be able to have a life or someone's lives will finally be over - and that is no threat by me.. only stating a fact. If I win custody then we can live in peace unless he really snaps. Or my kids will have no life with that animal.

PS - THEY LOVED THE TIE-DYE SHEETS!!!! Can't wait to finish their room.

 

[V-Machine]

Do you believe that shit? What the hell did I ever do to her?

Dude, I swear, I totally tried to cop a feel. It isn't at all like she's claiming. I can even show you the bruise where she bitch slapped me afterwards

Seems you are on the wrong ladder and theres no turning back

 

[Ulcasterdropout]

 

[Mr. dB]

Haha, the Ladder Theory strikes again!