Tips for bagging ugly chicks

[Big Jroy]

Step 1:Take her to a bar,one you don't normaly go to and get fucking plastered so she will look more decent.

Step 2:Take her to her place,not yours because if you take her back to your place,your buds might be there waiting and if they see her they might give you a wedgie.

Step 3:While she is getting ready for the nasty deed,cut out faces of anyone of those playmates from your collection of playboys and tape them to your eyelids,that way you can pretend that she is a playmate and the ride will be that much easier.

Step 4:Take a break,go to the bathroom and barf,you wlll trust me and then take a swig of more booze to enhance the mood.

Step 5:When you are done doing it and she wants a kiss give her the biggest load from your manhood that she will ever see,that way you can say,well I would but you just ate a chin omlet

Step 6:When you get ready to leave and she gives her phone # on a piece of paper to you,make an excuse to go to the bathroom,and once you are in bathroom,take a dump and use that sheet of paper with her phone # and WIPE YOUR FUCKING ASS WITH IT.

Step 7:When you get home(via a taxi because your drunk)drink some more until you pass out,that way you might not remember what happen the night before but don't be surprised if you start seeing her face on everybody,it's a side effect from the nasty deed.


Oh by the way,if you start seeing a playboy bunny when you close your eyes that means YOU FORGOT TO TAKE THOSE OUT OF YOUR EYELIDS another side effect

 

[JDarty6173]

Moral of Story.. Turnips are cool

 

[Cyclemein]

Now, remember though, ugly chicks don't necessarily put out but fat chicks do.

 

[Lumberg]

neither funny nor useful.

 

[Big Jroy]

neither funny nor useful.

That perfectly describes 2/3 of the posts in general discussion.

 

[JDarty6173]

neither funny nor useful.

An Amen to that

 

[PatsFan34]

neither funny nor useful.

I agree JC, that shit was CORNY!!!

 

[Big Jroy]

An Amen to that

Hallelujah brother, amen!

 

[Big Jroy]

What about this? Is this any funnier?

20+ years of studying porn.... my conclusions
1. Women wear high heels to bed.

2. Men are never impotent.

3. When going down on a woman 10 seconds is more than satisfactory.

4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her.

5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm.

6. Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men.

7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob.

8. Women always orgasm when men do.

9. A blowjob will always get a woman off a speeding ticket.

10. All women are noisy fuks.

11. People in the 70s couldn't fuck unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background.

12. Those tits are real.

13. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt.

14. Men always groan "OH YEAH!" when they cum.

15. If there is two of them they "high five" each other. (and the girl isn't disgusted!)

16. Double penetration makes women smile.

17. Asian men don't exist.

18. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes, the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of shit out of you if you shove your cock in his girlfriend's mouth.

19. There's a plot.

20. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a woman by giving her a gentle slap on the butt.

21. Nurses suck patient's cocks.

22. Men always pull out.

23. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before fucking the both of you.

24. Women never have headaches... or periods.

25. When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to remind her to "suck it".

26. Assholes are clean.

27. A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned.

28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's trousers and find a cock there.

29. Men don't have to beg.

30. When standing during a blowjob, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip

 

[manson]

Now that was funny as shit. lol