Those funny moments at the gym that make it all worthwhile...

[NYBodyguard]

This happened last week.

This one guy was telling everyone he knew in the gym that this girl running on the treadmill looks at him all the time, either when he comes in or in the mirror.

It was getting pretty annoying:

A) Noone cares

B) shes real hot and hes one skinny nasty looking guy

So last week it just so happens me and her walked into the gym at the same time (I did not talk to her or anything)

So this kid who thinks this girl wants him walks up to me and says "I saw you talking to her what is she like" so im like "she has a sexy voice to match that body and she was asking me why you are so shy"

Im like you have to go up to her and just get over with it she def. wants you bad.

This idiot I think came in his pants, he goes up to her and she gives him the nastiest look ive ever seen on mankind and tells him something (he wont say what but it wasnt lets go out on a date)

He comes to the back and tells us "girls are moody, one minute she wants me the next she doesnt"

 

[bigbair]

I got one for you guys.

I was at the gym a couple of months ago and there was this group of middle aged women, all badly out of shape, trying to do some sort of circuit training. This one lady was particularly sexy, I mean hairspray bangs that stood about a foot off her head, a funky bandana she wore as a headband, spandex bottoms and a large baggy KISS t-shirt from one of their 1980 something tours. She was probably 5'9'' and 180 lbs, needless to say she could've used some work.

So they're working their way around the various machines and she spots this one machine for dips/pullups. I don't know if you all have seen this but you actually walk up a platform and kneel on a padded plate which is counterbalanced with the typical stack of weights. The concept is easy, you select enough weight on the plates to counterbalance the difference of what you can't pull/push and it keeps you from having to lift your ENTIRE fat ass with each rep.

So she gets on this machine and I see it coming...she picks a relatively light weight, meaning there is little to counter balance her fat ass, and starts with her first pull up. When she steps off the platform and kneels on the plate the thing immediately slides straight down (as gravity would have it) and she's left dangling by her jiggly arms. Well, the good part is when she tries to get off the plat while it is still DOWN. Again, as basic physics would suggest, she stepped off the plate and the couterbalance slammed down, driving the knee plate back up and smacking her square in the chin, thereby knocking the holly hell out of her and sending her flat on her back for the entire 10 count. I really thought she had killed her fool self.

I laughed so hard I almost pissed myself.

 

[HdanSjr]

Hell, i got many more stories, i ended up being a personal trainer and an assistant manager at that gym i was talking about for about 5 years. We had one idiot who read something about drinking baking soda to reduce lactic acid. I was working with a client and keeping an eye on the guy chugging the baking soda water. I had already talked with him reguarding this issue, cause he asked for my opinion. Well, i was against it and i listed a few reasons. Well he was in the middle of a set of dumbell military presses when he belched loudly, he set the weights down and appolgized. then, he sipped again from the bottle and started the set back up, all of a sudden he belched again loudly and this foamy white mixture of baking soda, water, and what appeared to be stomach acid(?) came out of his mouth and his nose. he dropped the dumbells from the extended arm position, one broke as it hit the floor, and the other landed on his walkman and his bag smashing it all. He jumped up scared as shit, trying to wipe the shit off, but it was still coming out his nose...he was starting to cry, so i go running to him, hes crying, and blowing this shit all over himself and it's all bubbling out his nose still. I'll never forget his face as he looked at me and said "are these my intestines?" Now as you can see this guy wasn't too bright, so i yelled at one of my employees to get the people out of the area where the fluid was at and clean it up. I grabbed a towel that was on the floor and threw it too him and told him to get to the bathroom...he made it there just in time, then he spent the next 30 min or so on the toilet because of the shits. He was LOUDLY crying the entire time. I swear, i think the gym i was at had all of the idiots in the state of VA as members. and some people never learn, after about a week of not coming in to lift, the next time i saw him he swore that he never had gains like that in his life, but he promised that he would only drink it before he would run the mini marathons that he was training to compete in. Well, i know this is out of the gym, but the same damn thing happened to him in the middle of a marathon/race later in the year.

 

[TC2]

"are these my intestines?"

LMFAO

 

[GoldenDelicious]

Hell, i got many more stories, i ended up being a personal trainer and an assistant manager at that gym i was talking about for about 5 years. We had one idiot who read something about drinking baking soda to reduce lactic acid. I was working with a client and keeping an eye on the guy chugging the baking soda water. I had already talked with him reguarding this issue, cause he asked for my opinion. Well, i was against it and i listed a few reasons. Well he was in the middle of a set of dumbell military presses when he belched loudly, he set the weights down and appolgized. then, he sipped again from the bottle and started the set back up, all of a sudden he belched again loudly and this foamy white mixture of baking soda, water, and what appeared to be stomach acid(?) came out of his mouth and his nose. he dropped the dumbells from the extended arm position, one broke as it hit the floor, and the other landed on his walkman and his bag smashing it all. He jumped up scared as shit, trying to wipe the shit off, but it was still coming out his nose...he was starting to cry, so i go running to him, hes crying, and blowing this shit all over himself and it's all bubbling out his nose still. I'll never forget his face as he looked at me and said "are these my intestines?" Now as you can see this guy wasn't too bright, so i yelled at one of my employees to get the people out of the area where the fluid was at and clean it up. I grabbed a towel that was on the floor and threw it too him and told him to get to the bathroom...he made it there just in time, then he spent the next 30 min or so on the toilet because of the shits. He was LOUDLY crying the entire time. I swear, i think the gym i was at had all of the idiots in the state of VA as members. and some people never learn, after about a week of not coming in to lift, the next time i saw him he swore that he never had gains like that in his life, but he promised that he would only drink it before he would run the mini marathons that he was training to compete in. Well, i know this is out of the gym, but the same damn thing happened to him in the middle of a marathon/race later in the year.

ROFL i havnt laughed like that in a loooooooong time

 

[bigbair]

I read something on baking soda and water once...said it gives you an intense energy rush with the only noticeable effect being EXPLOSIVE diarreah. I always wanted to try it just to see exactly what exactly explosive diarreah was like.