There are two girls working the front desk and whenever I go the washroom...

[Nathan]

...they know exactly how long I've been in there since I have to go by them to come back in. It's kind of funny since twice now today I've been in there for longer than it would take most people to urinate, which pretty much leaves one thing left. One of them at least seems to be into me (either that or she's just super flirtatious and smiles way too damn much) so this is kind of fun for me. They're both Indian or something and are nice, but I'm not at all attracted to them. I should just take a steamer right beside their desk and then say, "You and you. Let's go. You're in." I wonder if that would be a turn off. Were it me and some girl I liked took a dump beside my desk, I'd interpret it as being an aggressive display of confidence in one's mud flaps. She probably has no interest in me whatsoever and I'm just some egomaniacal asshole. I wish I could read minds.

 

[NoDaddyNo]

Go in and make a lot of groaning and screaming sounds, but only stay in there for about 20 seconds.
Then splash water all over your face, chest, and down one leg. Then come walking out with your fly down and your shirt sticking out through it and cough a lot.
Also leave one of your shoes in there and once you have made it past their desk, wait 10 seconds and then limp by them and say "my bad, must have forgotten my shoe" and go back in and then start it all over again.

 

[Nathan]

how long are you usually in there for?

Anywhere between 3 and 4 hours.

 

[Nathan]

LOL.

You are gay.

YOU are. If I'm not attracted to a person there isn't really all that much I can do about it. She's got a pretty nice body but she's a total butherface. I can forgive a fair bit with a phenomenal body but 1) her face is too far beyond help and 2) her body isn't phenomenal, just okay.

 

[gymrat]

how long are you usually in there for?

 

[NoDaddyNo]

If you had any balls at all, you would sneak in a chocolate pudding cup and smear it all over your mouth and then walk out like nothing happened.

 

[Nathan]

If you had any balls at all, you would sneak in a chocolate pudding cup and smear it all over your mouth and then walk out like nothing happened.

I would for sure do that if I had a chocolate pudding cup. That would make a great story.

She's a 4 on that scale. I'm telling you, the face is gross. Ruins the whole damn thing.

 

[decem]

when's the last time you touched a boob nathan?

 

[Nathan]

when's the last time you touched a boob nathan?

Saturday while bouncing. It wasn't a naked boob though. Leave me alone you vicious bastard.

 

[Nathan]

You should fight both of them and whichever one wins, that's the one you bury in your backyard and dig up every now and then to practice cunnilingus on. Not only would that be a big improvement on your breath, but whenever you do hook up with a live one, it won't be as weird when she doesn't squirm around or make noises indicating pleasure. What's your address so I can send you a decent shovel and some lye?

Raoul Duke
145 Backdoor Road
Upyours, Texas
13452

 

[supersizeme]

You should fight both of them and whichever one wins, that's the one you bury in your backyard and dig up every now and then to practice cunnilingus on. Not only would that be a big improvement on your breath, but whenever you do hook up with a live one, it won't be as weird when she doesn't squirm around or make noises indicating pleasure. What's your address so I can send you a decent shovel and some lye?

 

[HG Pennypacker]

If Assassin Excrement were here, he would know what to do.

 

[Bullit]

Ok on a scale of 1-10 (1 being the lowest (ellen degeneres) and 10 being the highest (roseanne barr) ) what is this slut?

Thats a totally non-ISA approved scale.

 

[decem]

Thats a totally non-ISA approved scale.

i hate your fucking scale..






2

 

[Nathan]

Man, you work????????

Alright, I made the whole thing up. I don't want to talk about this anymore. Oh God! What are you doing tonight? I was gonna give A a call.

 

[bigAragorn]

Man, you work????????

 

[Nathan]

post a pic

YOU!

 

[Bullit]

i hate your fucking scale..
2

post a pic

 

[bigAragorn]

Alright, I made the whole thing up. I don't want to talk about this anymore. Oh God! What are you doing tonight? I was gonna give A a call. [/QUOTE

check your pm in about 2 minutes

 

[Bullit]

YOU!

17