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the ultimate drunk story

machaveli

machaveli

New member
I am almost for sure no one has every heard this one nor have i ever done this in my life. True fucking story! Last weekend went to the bar with a friend of mine and met these two chicks. Both around mid thirty's, and I am 24. We go back to her house and we're all hammered off our ass. One thing leads to another and we fuck for about an hour. She gets up to use the bathroom and is in there for like 10 minutes. I have to take the biggest shit of my life. I try to go out the front but it was locked from the inside (couldn't get out) so my drunk ass shits all over her floor. As I'm shitting she walks out the bathroom and looks at me wordless. I go in the bathroom clean up and come back out and she's cleaing my shit up for me. Doesn't say a word. I grab my boy in the other room and when he came out the girl asks us to leave. That was it. I was to dumb and dsrunk to know what was going on.
I couldn't imagine what was running through her head. I mean we just finished fucking then i'm shitting on her floor. I hope i dont run into her again. :rolleyes:
 
I have never been that drunk, ever. Dam lightweights making us hard drinkers look bad lol.
 
I am dead fucking serious. I figured no one would believe me because it seems so off the wall but its the truth! I hope i never bump into that chcik again. Thank god i never gave her my number
 
machaveli said:
I am dead fucking serious. I figured no one would believe me because it seems so off the wall but its the truth! I hope i never bump into that chcik again. Thank god i never gave her my number
Click to expand...

Ok honestly...fucking hilarious story, but c'mon...WHAT WERE YOU THINKING???

Honestly, what thoughts were going thru your head???
Did you think you would shit, then bail before she came out of the can?
Were you going to go back to bed with her then , in the morning, pretend a burglar made the turd?

WHAT????
 
i cant imagine shitting in the middle of a hallway- no matter how hammed I was.
i have this image of a cougar on all fours cleaning up poop.
"no poopy in the potty"
 
I wasn't thinking of any of that because i had to shit so bad. It was that dam protien shake before i went out that did me in!!!
 
rjl296 said:
i cant imagine shitting in the middle of a hallway- no matter how hammed I was.
i have this image of a cougar on all fours cleaning up poop.
"no poopy in the potty"
Click to expand...

YOU SAID "COUGAR"!!!

I thought that was just an Albertan term.
I dont think americans know what a 'cougar' is.
 
ColonCowboy said:


YOU SAID "COUGAR"!!!

I thought that was just an Albertan term.
I dont think americans know what a 'cougar' is.
Click to expand...

what ??

this is not a Universal term ??
hint : its not a cat
 
rjl296 said:


what ??

this is not a Universal term ??
hint : its not a cat
Click to expand...

I know what a cougar is, you tard.
But I'm pretty sure its not a term that americans are familiar with.

Mach... WHAT WAS GOING THRU YOUR HEAD???
 
ColonCowboy said:


I know what a cougar is, you tard.
But I'm pretty sure its not a term that americans are familiar with.

Mach... WHAT WAS GOING THRU YOUR HEAD???
Click to expand...

i know you know, i was giving everyone else a hint.
kinda like jeopardy
 
I`m laughing out loud by myself and my wife thinks I`m crazy.

It was worth it though.lol
 
Did you apologize or say anything at all?
 
hah! my good friend in college took a shit in front of another friends door. He doesn't remember it either.

The worst i have done is pass out in the bathroom but sitting on the can.
 
do u still remember where she lives or u forgot that?

How about leaving a bag of shit everyday at her door? Just like the milkman or the newspaper boy. Man that would be so funny and hide a video camera somewhere to see her reaction.
 
sorry dude, this is far from the ultimate drunk story, we used to do way more cool shit than that

first thing is you check out the medicine cabinets, you will find all kinds of shit I've even found qualudes from the 80's

start searching around and you will find all kinds of shit

you might be the first that took a dump on her floor but I'm sure she's been dumped on before
 
WizKid25 said:


can't say i've heard you say that before...
Click to expand...

Hey wiz, I'm as surprized as you

but all this dude did was take a dump on this chicks floor

you being a crazy & wild guy I thought you pulled some serious shit, way more than just taking a dump
 
Oh oh, tell us about the time you got drunk and got that tattoo on your back, you know, the one spelled incorrectly!!!

I love that one!
 
davepalumbo said:
you know what's even funnier?? Your avatar looks like you taking a big shit and then the football is the turd. HAAHAH!!!
Click to expand...

You must go to my barber to know this.
 
thats rough bro, my worst drunk was waking up still drunk with my face in the cat dish and a mouthful of cat food
 
Bullit said:
I know what a cougar is, you tard.
But I'm pretty sure its not a term that americans are familiar with.

Mach... WHAT WAS GOING THRU YOUR HEAD???
Click to expand...

It wasn't what was going through his head that was the problem it was what was going through his ass.


Best one i've been around for is when my friend puked in this girls sink during the night. Best off it was the side without the disposal. So we just left them to clean it up. Oh and it was the thick industrial waste kind of puke.

Cheers,
Scotsman
 
LOL! Good thread.

I once passed out on the can of a bar I bounced at about 20 minutes after I got off work. Was drinking Rumpleminz all night. Buddy had to pull up my pants and walk me out.
 
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