The Official 'Post a Thread in the Style of another EF Member'

[fyxgel2]

so people are saying that girls dig guys who are in jail,

like "tough guys" with tattoos and a rough attitude. i dunno maybe they have confidence and don't chicks like that stuff?

So my question to you is will pushing my grandma down the stairs get me a woman? i think maybe i should actually push her down the stairs front of a woman so she can see how bad-ass i am, or should i just do it alone and then write some chicks from prison?

plus being in jail will give me the chance to eat right and lift, so i can get the jacked body girls love

i hoped i don't get raped in jail, lol. but maybe that will make me more experienced sexually so i can impress my future woman.

lol, this better not be me. if it is, its a horrible impersonation. Im not that crude, and I usually ask like about 3 questions .

 

[Nathan]

While I may not have a mole on my cheek or a fancy degree from DeVry, I am still way better than all of you. How so? Fuck you, nobody asked you. In addition and moreover, my farts don't smell at all and if you listen closely you can hear how I've trained my sphincter to pitch the flatulence to the melody of my favorite Doo-wop songs. It's really cool if I may be so bold. But I really wish I were Palatino Linotype italic. I'd like to take this opportunity now to say I hate you all, and I hope you are hoven to death by a Vietnamese pot-bellied pig. My favorite constellations are Puppis and Camelopardalis.

Who is that supposed to be? I like his style.

 

[fyxgel2]

I see this girl in class, she`s really hot. How can I have sex with her or just meet her and talk? What ever you tell me will go through one ear and out the other and I`ll come back in a month to tell you how I`m STILL a virgin.

Thanks for all the advice.

hahaha, now this is more like it. Needs to be MUCH longer though...

 

[d3track]

so i was cooking some herbs in a frying pan when the herbs started to burn
i freaked out and put the hot pan on my mom's table
why i did that i just know
so now there is a huge burn mark on my moms table
so i got a screwdriver and tried to scrap off the burnt part, while my mom was at work
this was brilliant
i gouged a 1/4" deep hole in my mom's table
then i put a vase with plastic flowers in it over the hole, in the hopes that since they are plastic flowers my mom wont ever have to throw old flowers away and wont find the whole

 

[Mr. dB]

No vaginas on my thread!

 

[jh1]

Tuc-
you fat slob
do my laundry, wash my car, give my dog a bath (dont eat him), and make me and the dog a sandwich

You forgot: Measure your mother's taint and post the results.


Who is that supposed to be anyway?

 

[onerepmaximum]

SoreArms, thanks for the shout out. Here it goes:

Uh guys, can one of you get this 135 lbs off of me? It's starting to hurt.

 

[scriptfactory]

I baet up 22 dudes the other day after I got jumepd and took all of their loot!! HAHAHA!!!!!!!! BAET tTHAT one!

Why do poeple always pick on me and call me n*gger... I'm such a genuis and a a great busines man I am giong to invest ni a compnay and live rich forevr pickin up chiks on the beach, fo sho! HAHAHAAHaaHAHAAH!!!!!

The ohter day I hustled 200 poeple ot of $100 dollars each. BAET tTHAT one! HAHAHAHAHHHAaaHHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111

 

[Mr. dB]

Dear friend and fellow athlete:

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Then The Elite Guide To Male Grooming was tailor made for you. You will learn how to bathe yourself on a daily basis, how to wash and dry your own clothing in either a home laundry or a laundromat setting, basic hair care techniques, and even how to shave your face.

And if you respond in the next 72 hours, we'll throw in the following reports, each a $39.95 value, for free:

* Deodorant and Cologne Do's and Don'ts

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All for the unbelievably low price of $29.95. Don't be a slob any longer, order today!

Yours in sport,

 

[tiger88]

dudes i need serious help...check out my math thread