Here's the little bitch
And this here is all that really needs to be said :
EXTREME Q&A
by Jason Meuller
FINALLY, PICTURES OF THE ELUSIVE TC GARGANTUOUS AND TIM ENORMOSAPIENS!!
Hell has officially frozen over. In other news Testosterone.net finally saw fit to release pictures of TC Luoma and Tim Patterson. Immediately after viewing the pictures, one thought entered my head. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
From what I can recall, TC claimed to weigh 235 lbs at around 7% body fat. Hmmm. That's the lightest 235 and the fattest 7% I've ever seen. Oh yes, I forgot, TC has managed to tear his pec, bicep, pulled a groin muscle during an all night marathon sex session with Tim, and strained his sternocleidomastoids while polishing Bruce's knob for inspiration for his weekly penis column (also known as Atomic Dog). Jesus Christ TC, what you were thinking by letting them photograph you!!?? Here's a tip. Start writing down the lies you tell so you don't do something stupid like this again. Obviously you forgot how big you were supposed to be.
I can't remember what Tim's claims were, but the only thing he picture impressed upon me was that Tim and Iggy Pop are somehow related. Either that or Big Tim's got a serious heroin habit, as his physique reminds of some smackheads I've known. Absolutely shredded with 15-inch arms. While Tim's bodyfat is definitely in the single digits, his LBM is as well.
Now boys, I don't care what you look like, but don't lie about it. And if you're going to lie about it, don't be so stupid as to print pictures that prove you're lying. If you must put your pictures on the web, modify them using Photoshop or something so it appears that you actually look a little like your claims.
In all fairness, I've seen pictures of Bruce Kneller that are several years old and he did have a muscular, aesthetic physique. Bruce is probably the only writer at T-Mag who doesn't find it necessary to lie about how he really looks.
Many of you probably don't care about how any of these guys look, as I wouldn't if it weren't obvious that their claims weren't so much bullshit. This behavior reminds me of the acne-faced computer geek who sits at home and tells every female in the online chatroom that his name is Brad, a Fabio look alike who drives a Jag and just graduated from Medical School. Tim and TC are exactly like our nerdy friend, except their motivation isn't to get some hot chick to talk to them, it's to make millions of hardcore bodybuilders believe their really just like you too. "I lift weight too!! I'm big just like you guys!! We're hardcore cause we're so damn big!! We've gained 225 lbs of LBM from the latest BioTest supplement!"
Puhhlease!!!!