Swinger lifestyle can it Last long term ???

[Muscle Catalyst]

I have been thinking lately do Swingers really have it made ?????

Think about it you are married and you and your spouse have no hang ups about having sex with other people.

How fucking great is that ????????

I would think the lifesystle and open minded atittudes would keep the couple toghter much longer then a regular Boring marriage.

Inputt

 

[EnderJE]

Depends on the people.

 

[rediculus]

It would seem perfect. Except when your 50 and you realize you saved nothing for each other. Her friends got to talk to her like you.Fuck her like you kiss her like you. She was probably even nicer to them and she probably bought lunch for them on occassion cuz they weren't the pricks that left the toilet seat up.

You end up being friends that fuck.

Why get married for that? Prostitutes are cheaper. Remember you don't pay a whore to fuck you. you pay her to keep her @#$%ing mouth shut when she's done.

 

[stilleto]

i have known 4 couples that were either swingers, or tried it.
1 is divorced
1 might as well be
2 came as close as possible and then reconciled, but no longer swing and are very happy.

i know there are couples that make it work, but marriage is hard enough... adding that into the mix makes it harder.

 

[rediculus]

I agree with Stilleto on a motorcyle forum that I still frequent because I am a fan of that particular motorcycle someone put up the question. Would you date or marry a Porn star.

Almost all of the guys under 26 or 27 said "oh hellz ya"

Then alot of them actually put some thought into it. If you want a road named after you....Why choose skid row?

 

[EnderJE]

I have been thinking lately do Swingers really have it made ?????

Think about it you are married and you and your spouse have no hang ups about having sex with other people.

How fucking great is that ????????

I would think the lifesystle and open minded atittudes would keep the couple toghter much longer then a regular Boring marriage.

Inputt

If people can be gay and happy, why can't they be swingers and happy?

 

[rediculus]

They can be

people can also be Homosexual and not happy..The term gay actually meaning happy...

Technically it's possible. It's also possible for a pimp to marry a hooker and be happy..It's possible for a small person to marry a tall person and for celebrities to have normal relationships. Just working with the mathmatics however your definitely swimming upstream if you want a marriage to work and you want to share your spouse (wife or husband) with another person or group of people.

 

[housemusik83]

the whole idea to me is stupid if she is your wife... on the other hand just a whore you are using and abusing, than fuck it who cares

 

[the_alcatraz]

Eventually it will fuck up a marriage.

Loyalty is the key to a healthy marriage.

 

[housemusik83]

eventually it will fuck up a marriage.

Loyalty is the key to a healthy marriage.

+1

 

[manny78]

If people can be gay and happy, why can't they be swingers and happy?

Then why get married ? You many as well save the money from the wedding and divorce... lol

 

[Muscle Catalyst]

All good replies.However I would think that the swinger couple would be much happier in the long-run As the sex is awlays the first thing to go in a realtion-ship then communcation comes into play and its over.

???????

 

[rediculus]

sex never went in my marriage..I skipped right past that and went straight for the jugular. That still doesn't give a reason to be married. Who wants to be married to the "woman of the town" if she's not yours then don't pay for her. Marriage means monogamy. 2 people dedicated to each other.

I know guys that don't care how many men their wives sleep with. 2 percent of the time it works..Why? I don't know I personally prefer sex to mean something in a relationship. But if sex doesn't mean anything to you..your safer just screwing who you want when you want and leave alimony to other guys to pay. And use a condome.

 

[needsize]

I've known a bunch of couples that it worked for, the key seems to be that they both feel exactly the same way...more often than not one is way more ito it than the other, thats where the problems seem to come from....not to mention many people get into it for the wrong reasons...either its for you or it isnt

 

[rediculus]

I've had too much experience. I admit freely that my sexual experience has become a thing of embarrassment when it comes to meeting good women. I don't mean some 15 dollar an hour high school graduate that fucks on command.You can train a puppy to do that shit. I mean driven successful independent woman that will bring more to your life.

Perhaps I am old fashioned but I don't think fucking outside of marriage makes it stronger. Swingers to me are 2 people terrified of true commitment that get along fantastically as friends. At the end of the day neither of them will enjoy the benefits of putting themselves out there for a real relationship. True commitment!

And your damn right that shit has an odometer. If your not doing exercises....After the 2nd time of having sex I can tell how much they have loosened up. It will come back a little but stretch or tear them a couple times from drunk sex...that shit doesn't come back without a little work.

 

[macman109]

Wife and I tried it a couple a times, it was a lot of fun but not sustainable in the long run.

 

[rediculus]

I have 3 kids and I can tell you a 9 lb baby boy will change the way a vagina feels.

We may lie and say Damn baby it's as tight as ever. And at the opening near the clitoris with the honeymoon stitch it really is.

Inside the actual vaginal canal is never the same. I was married have 3 kids..I have had sex with young women old women no kids 5 kids...Oh we will lie and tell you it feels like an 18 year old cheerleader in there. It doesn't. Does it feel good? shit ya it does or I'd be railing your sister. Nobody has proven anything about my opinion incorrect. Other than swingers are people afraid of commitment and afraid of growing old. OR bored as hell..which works short term then they think. OH WTF no this is not working and typically change the lifestyle or divorce. The latter being more prevalent.

PS I am all for you guys not having guns and all for other people having abortions...I've met people that I would pay for a post birth abortion.

 

[rediculus]

Their measure is 100% valued by the tightness of their vagina!!!

Then again I know more than a few men that are measured by the weight of their dicks. Primarily because Anything north of the nipples is purely for decoration.

 

[cmiii]

Well, it depends on the couple and their strenght of the relationship and their likes and dislikes. The problem comes when people think it is cool or they think is something to be done in order to find empty self satisfaction.
It is very simple though, just like everything in life you have to be very secure in yourself and know 100% that you will take great satisfaction in sharing such an intimate part of your lives with others. Both partners must love and trust 100% or else there will always be someone else whom they have shared that will come in between your love and trust causing problems in the relationship.

 

[Colonel Ingus]

I've been on the fringe of a few couples that participate in "the lifestyle". Just from my view outside looking in, they all have some problems that arise from the activities in which they participate. Let me give a few examples:
With one couple, the guy would always be talking about how hot the women were that he would be with at the parties that they went to. I could see that this made his wife uncomfortable. He set up meetings for her with other guys, but I got the feeling that inside, she was hurt by the fact that he thought all those other women were where his desires went.
Also knew of a guy that claimed to be a swinger, along with his wife, but she didn't want to do it anymore. They separated, but came back together, and he claimed that she knows he still swings. Funny thing though, he has a few girlfriends that he will only see away from home, and they can't call him at home, and they know he's trying (supposedly) to get things back on track with his wife.
Finally, know a woman that has been involved with a few "lifestyle guys" but only on a one-on-one basis. She's had a FMF threesome or two, and liked it, but was always the third in those instances. She really wants to settle back into a more traditional relationship, and maybe do some exploration with her guy once they get to that point. Her other guys kept encouraging her to do that, but they also keep trying to set up dates with her again so they don't lose their access to her pussy.

Bottom line for me is that in just about all of these situations, people are never really what they seem, and there is a constant flow of lies and backstabbing going on. It seems more about control and manipulation than sex, and although some like to be controlled and manipulated, that person's partner is often the one that is being kept in the dark. Now if you can keep it casual, and move on to different partners before the possessiveness starts, maybe it could work, but there is always that question of whether you are doing it for fun, or to find something that is missing from your primary relationship.

 

[rediculus]

Why people swing? If you love yourself 100% you have no need to find physical satisfaction with someone other than the person you are in love with. I know it's not a popular view. But psychologically it is simply damaging and the people that typically want to engage in it..Are typically a little "damaged goods" themselves.

Love, loyalty and trust cannot be shared. It goes to 1 person I agree with you guys 100%.

 

[Colonel Ingus]

... and the people that typically want to engage in it..Are typically a little "damaged goods" themselves.

I intentionally avoided this assesment, but I tend to agree to a certian degree. I have found that these people are searching for something to fill a void in themselves, and that applied to me on occasions as well. Whether one does it to rebuild your feelings of desireibility to the opposite sex, or to show off your ability to perform in bed, there is also some deeper itch that gets scratched by this kind of activity.

I have a special person that kind of dabbled with this for a while, and she seemed to very much enjoy the submissive parts of it, but she was able to use that to maintain a distance too. I'm finding that I have a hard time with her continuing contact with a few of her "friends", and although she tells me that she isn't interested in that kind of activity with them anymore, it really rocks my confidence with her. That's probably more about me than her, but it causes me a lot of anguish. For whatever reason, this one is not just another FWB or whatever the cool new phrase is for that. I have much deeper feelings, and they drive me to pull her away from those guys from her past. Sometimes it feels better than anything I've ever had before, and others it's like a living hell, and I feel like I'm the fool. Sometimes I wish I never knew about any of her past, but her openness and willingness to experiment are a big part of what attracted me in the first place. I've dropped all others for her, but my gut tells me that although she's been with only me for a while, her heart hasn't given itself to monogamy yet. Not sure it ever will, and that's what is so hard.

 

[Chrisco915]

brandilove.com

I love watching her swing.......LOL.

 

[Colonel Ingus]

If she has committed to you then there should be NO NEED for her to keep in contact with men that she had sex with in the past. Ex's are Ex's for a reason, especially if those guys were just part of an "experimental process".

If it really REALLY messes with your head then you need to talk to her about it. If she can't understand that her continued contact with these men is really hurting you then guess what? She does not care for you the way that you care for her and then you should question why you are squandering your affection on a woman that clearly doesn't deserve it.

Her deal is that she has morphed these relationships from physical into more of a platonic thing, and that after all she has been through, and all that she has dealt with in her life, she isn't going to let me "smother" her by pulling her away from them. Thing is, I'm a guy too, and I know the game because I've played it too. If you are a nice guy, and keep on good terms, then eventually they come back. In my heart I want to believe that she's moving away from them slowly, but my gut tells me different.

I have indisputible proof that she reached out to a past partner a couple weeks after I asked her that we make things exclusive between us, but I haven't confronted her with that yet because it also proves that I am, in fact, watching her like a hawk. Tears me apart sometimes, but the heart wants what the heart wants. I'm telling myself it was a moment of weakness, but if she has that many options always available to her, eventually something will happen. And yes, my own insecurity plays a huge role here.

 

[Colonel Ingus]

You don't know how much I fear that deep down one day he will want to swing again.

I'm right there with ya baby. For whatever reason, this girl has got my number. The trick is to not get too nuts and overprotective about her. And believe me, I'm a confident and secure person on the whole, but I just feel like I'm powerless here. Part of me thinks that I should have broken this off a long time ago, but the other side sees the possibility to live my dream, happily ever after. Right now I'm just going with the thought that in 2 years, I'll have wanted to know that I gave this every opportunity to work before walking away. I hope that I never am in that place looking back though.

BTW, I'm 49, and have had more than a few years of experience myself. I could make a few phone calls and go right back to having a few partners to occupy my time, but that isn't what I want. I want the old-school, one-on-one, me and her deal.....but I want HER to want that too.

OK, enough whining for now. But thanks for your thoughts on this.

 

[rediculus]

I just feel like I'm powerless here. Part of me thinks that I should have broken this off a long time ago, but the other side sees the possibility to live my dream, happily ever after.

If telling her that doesn't correct the situation.

Boil her in oil she's not worth your time. Granted that's easier for me to say than for you..But that statement is pretty fuckin powerful man.