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IRAQI ELECTIONS DELAYED TO ALLOW TIME FOR NEGATIVE ADS
The Iraqi elections, originally set for January 2005, have been delayed six months to give the Iraqi people enough time to produce and air negative political ads, the White House announced today.
“The purpose of these elections is to foster democracy in Iraq, but without negative ads, there is no democracy,” said White House spokesman Scott McClellan.
The decision to delay the Iraqi vote was the brainchild of White House political strategist Karl Rove, who said he was “dismayed” by the state of Iraqi’s negative advertising infrastructure.
“Their understanding of how to use distortions, unflattering photographs and scary-sounding announcers is rudimentary at best,” Mr. Rove said. “If the elections were to go forward without professionally-produced attack ads, the whole process would be seen as a sham.”
In order to teach the Iraqi people how to make corrosive, below-the-belt television spots, Mr. Rove has ordered the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth, a group whose ads proved particularly effective during the 2004 presidential campaign, to parachute into Baghdad at once.
Davis Hartnett, a spokesman for the veterans group, said that they were already helping Iraqi citizens produce a series of negative ads attacking the Vietnam record of one potential presidential candidate, the Shiite politician Hassan Yousif.
Reached at his campaign headquarters in Mosul, Mr. Yousif angrily called the ads “the work of madmen,” telling reporters, “I did not even serve in Vietnam.”
“Our point exactly,” Mr. Hartnett said.
Elsewhere, in a major policy shift, the government of Pakistan said it would no longer pretend to be looking for Osama bin Laden.
Praise JESUS
The Iraqi elections, originally set for January 2005, have been delayed six months to give the Iraqi people enough time to produce and air negative political ads, the White House announced today.
“The purpose of these elections is to foster democracy in Iraq, but without negative ads, there is no democracy,” said White House spokesman Scott McClellan.
The decision to delay the Iraqi vote was the brainchild of White House political strategist Karl Rove, who said he was “dismayed” by the state of Iraqi’s negative advertising infrastructure.
“Their understanding of how to use distortions, unflattering photographs and scary-sounding announcers is rudimentary at best,” Mr. Rove said. “If the elections were to go forward without professionally-produced attack ads, the whole process would be seen as a sham.”
In order to teach the Iraqi people how to make corrosive, below-the-belt television spots, Mr. Rove has ordered the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth, a group whose ads proved particularly effective during the 2004 presidential campaign, to parachute into Baghdad at once.
Davis Hartnett, a spokesman for the veterans group, said that they were already helping Iraqi citizens produce a series of negative ads attacking the Vietnam record of one potential presidential candidate, the Shiite politician Hassan Yousif.
Reached at his campaign headquarters in Mosul, Mr. Yousif angrily called the ads “the work of madmen,” telling reporters, “I did not even serve in Vietnam.”
“Our point exactly,” Mr. Hartnett said.
Elsewhere, in a major policy shift, the government of Pakistan said it would no longer pretend to be looking for Osama bin Laden.
Praise JESUS
