Stupid pet tricks. What's yours do?

[hardrock]

My cat is pretty sweet and almost like a friggin dog sometimes. Fugger even plays fetch.

She likes to take my change and hide it in my shoes. A couple times a week I put on my shoes only to find a quarter or nickel. Not a bad thing.

Another one is she likes to climb into empty beer cases. There will be a hole just barely big enough to get a beer can through and she'll squeeze her ass in there. Pretty funny actually.

The worst is she likes to hop up on my lap. Cut a SBD and then take off only to leave me gagging a few seconds later. She's gotta plan this? Either that or it slips and she knows I'm gonna be pissed and then she takes off.

So what does your critter do?

 

[EnderJE]

Mine just lays there. It's been dead for about 15 years.

 

[hardrock]

Mine just lays there. It's been dead for about 15 years.

LOL! I suppose it doesn't even stink after that long?

 

[Mr. dB]

Mine jumps in my lap right after he's come up from an afternoon of eating mice and rats in the basement, smelling like rodent entrails.

 

[fogg88]

My roommate's cat strategically barfs in the hall during the night, so when I wake up to take a piss, I inevitably step in it.

 

[Sassy69]

Mine also plays fetch (when he feels like it). However several years ago I started this addition to the game where when he goes to run after whatever was thrown, I go hide. Then he comes walking back, looks around for a few minutes, walks around some more, and always manages to stop and start his panic meow a couple feet short of where he could find me. I always thought that he was amazingly smart to play fetch, however he fails to find me every time, even when I hide in the same spot literally every tme for the past 2 years. (Duh.)

Another thing he does is that he seems to spend like a week planning out the strategic place where he will barf early in the morning, usually 2 yaks per session, one right outside my bedroom door and one right at the base of the stairs - like right where you would have to step before you can turn the light on. He also manages to do targeted barf, like RIGHT on my purse, and no where else. Also on the crease between the two cushions on the couch or on the white part on the two-tone area rug.

The only saving grace is that he doesn't pee in the house. (At least as long as I'm living in a place where there's never been another cat..)

 

[theoak01]

i got a snake man,one time i fed it some beer it slithered this way and that,he was all fuck up

 

[EnderJE]

LOL! I suppose it doesn't even stink after that long?

Let me tell you about the many uses of turpentine.

 

[stilleto]

mine licks peanut butter off my genitals for hours.

 

[PICK3]

The stupidest trick I've seen on Letterman was when a guy came out with a cockroach and a piece of string. He annouced my roach will not climb the string and put him on the bottom of it and put his bic lighter under the roach. Of course the roach hauled ass up the string.

Probably loses something in translation bit was pretty funny at the time.

 

[morph60]

I have fish they eat other fish and swim

 

[PBR]

i would pretend to shoot my dog, and she would drop, and play "dead"...it was a riot.

 

[musclemom]

I have one cat that responds to verbal/hand signals. She'll jump up (tap a chair, say "Up" she will jump up, snap your fingers, point to the floor, say "Down" she jumps down,") she speaks on command, and comes when called (which is actually an accomplishment with a cat). She also will not cross a threshhold if told "No." She understands about how doors work, that you need to pull it open from underneath. Oh, yeah, she made up this game ... she jumps up on the back of my computer chair and hangs on, head facing to the left, and I spin the chair. She meows when she gets close to me ... it's weird but she likes it (imagine this cat is riding a spinning chair meowing just once a revolution ...)

I have another one that will jump between two chairs, you can pull the chairs almost six feet apart before she'll turn it into chair-floor-chair.

I have another one that is a little trapeze artist, enjoys getting as high as she can, walking on narrow surfaces ... the kicker was when she tried to jump from the kitchen cabinet to the ceiling fan ... that didn't work so good, fan blade broke. I didn't teach her that but it's interesting to watch. She is, however, the one that figured out where I keep the catnip and will pull it out of the cabinet if I happen to leave the door slightly ajar. Came down one morning the whole kitchen floor was crunchy, they'd had quite a party.

You did ask for stupid pet tricks ...

 

[Sassy69]

My cat knows what it sounds like when I'm rummaging in the utinsel drawer for the can opener. He comes running up stairs and then starts doing the tuna dance.

Sometimes he tries to sit on a window sill but he's too fat & falls over. He also likes to do "big kitty stretches" when he wakes up. Sometimes he overstretches & falls off the couch.

He ain't the sharpest knife in the drawer.

 

[Miss24k]

My cat knows what it sounds like when I'm rummaging in the utinsel drawer for the can opener. He comes running up stairs and then starts doing the tuna dance.

My cat does that damn tuna dance too, it doesn't matter where he is he always friggin' hears it, and doesn't shut up until I give him some.

 

[Sassy69]

My cat does that damn tuna dance too, it doesn't matter where he is he always friggin' hears it, and doesn't shut up until I give him some.

Its actually funny when I show him the can & its not tuna. He just keeps dancing like he's gonna get some anyway. THen I show him what's inside and he keeps dancing like the tuna is still coming.

I feel bad when I do that.

Well sorta.

 

[Raina]

Gizmo's completely trained on hand signals. I can get him to do a long series of tricks without saying a word. Bits is still learning.

 

[silverfish]

My dogs fart, burp up food, and shed hair all over the house. I never trained them to do any of that. It's natural.

 

[hamstershaver]

my dog pukes on the carpet

 

[jafo]

my dog knows the best trick he has done a great job of training me ...he makes me take him for walks and pick up after him ...he even has me trained to cook and clean for him ....

 

[covergrl80]

Hides from my Daughter. I guess he is not a big fan of being dressed up in baby clothes (diaper too) while being pushed around in a doll stroller. The only time he wants anything to do with her is when she is sleeping.

 

[Megalomaniac]

My friends cat fetches bottlecaps. She is a cat for Christ's sake, stay on the couch and let the dog look stupid doing that.

 

[nycgirl]

Does hitting me in the head with a paw almost the size of my hand when he's up count as a trick. I guess he thinks he is waking me up or petting me.

 

[Sassy69]

Gizmo's completely trained on hand signals. I can get him to do a long series of tricks without saying a word. Bits is still learning.

I"m completely trained on tail signals. He can get me to do a long series of tricks w/o saying a word.

 

[jafo]

I"m completely trained on tail signals. He can get me to do a long series of tricks w/o saying a word.

yes ...that is exacly what I was talking about my dogs best trick was training me

 

[Island Son]

They tell time, and wake me up at 7 am.
One opens doors, I've had to childproof my kitchen cabinets.
The other one stands on his hind legs like a gopher to look at things