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sticky situation...need help

magman1

magman1

New member
i dated my gf for four and a half years...we split this summer...she has an older sister i always had a crush on...in october, her sisters fiance and baby's father died in a car accident(they actually split up about a month before) and i was good friends with her fiance, as he was like my brother in law for a few years...my gf's sister contacted me, saying she really wants to get together, and would really like to talk, and thanked me soo much for being at the funeral, and being there for her child...she could want to get together for just innocent reasons, but then i wonder if the reasons arent so innocent...im very attracted to her, but know it would be the wrong thing to do, im just not sure if i could control myself if the situation presented itself...and then again, i dont wana avoid getting together, cuz maybe she really does just want to talk...how do you guys feel about this situation? would it be very very wrong to become any way involved with her?
 
IMO: it would only be wrong if you were still with her sister. now you are a free agent. and you are young! no rings on your finger. if your x wanted to be with you she would be with you. i say go about it like a friend to her. but if she needs to be more then a friend.....DO IT!

p.s. i had a simular situation... after something like that shes probably very lonley in the MAN/penis department. and she probably feels like a (HOE) if shes out at the club trying to meet men. you are probably someone shes attracted to and she can always (pretend) its innocent if it looks like sex is not what you want.

good luck

BO-DEN
 
She lost her baby in October and you think she wants to do something not so innocent? Man, you don't know how female minds work.
 
I think this path was laid before you by God, I can't explain it any other way. Perhaps you two are meant to get together and have the child that grows up to save the world.
 
AAP said:
She lost her baby in October and you think she wants to do something not so innocent? Man, you don't know how female minds work.
Click to expand...
no, she didnt lose her baby...she lost her baby's father...i dont think its wrong in terms of me and her sister, but rather bc of my friendship i had with her late fiance
 
magman1 said:

no, she didnt lose her baby...she lost her baby's father...i dont think its wrong in terms of me and her sister, but rather bc of my friendship i had with her late fiance
Click to expand...

Theres really nothing wrong with that.........I am sure that he would want her to be happy........so just make sure you treat her right.
 
One step at a time bro. Meet with her in her time of need first. Don`t worry about something that`s not really there yet.
 
Somehow I think this whole thing will end up being resolved in Jerry Springer show.

Anyways, if she is serious about meeting up and being friends I don't see any problems with it. Sure it will cause a tension between you and her sister, but she isn't in the "big picture" anymore. Just be curtious to them and it will all workout.

The devil advocate part:
Just be careful about the kid thing, mabye she is a bit desperate to find a man to take care of the baby?
 
to clarify myself, id love to be her friend and would love to play a role in the childs life, but the role i would like to play is not nearly what she needs...i am away at school, and want no part of a long term relation with her...i guess my question is do you feel it would be wrong to just "hook up" with no commitments? as long as it would be clear there is no attachment?
 
You mean to tell me that you would have sex with your ex's sister?

Ummmmm wrong, wrong, wrong.

Regardless of what HER intentions are this is a line that I would never cross. I share everything with my sister EXCEPT my shoes and MY MAN. My sister feels the same.

Just my .02
 
Are you still friends with your ex-girlfriend or do you not talk to her. If you have no relationship well then sorry lil sis your outta luck.
 
her and her sister are no longer close at all...dont even talk really...two totally different people...my gf is the gorgeous girl next door, while her sister reminds me soo much of aria giovanni(porn star for u non-pervs)...im not sure if this makes a diff...i dont care how my ex feels, just respect for her ex fiance
 
I am not passing judgement, only telling you my opinion which is like an asshole, cause everbody's got one LOL.

Whether she and her sister are close or not, it just doesn't seem right. Would you REALLY want to be involved at all with a woman who wouldn't care what her sister would think about her dating/doinking/whatever her ex?

Just think about that. If you can proceed with that knowledge then by all means - do. But me, I wouldn't....
 
it does seem very dirty to me, and very jerry springerish, but i guess thats why i wanted ur guys opinions...im just gona play it by year, and see how the nite goes...might be getting worked up over nothing
 
I don't see anything wrong with it myself. Meet with her and talk to her but I wouldn't jeopardize a relationship by jumping her bones unless it's her decision to instigate it.

Gonelifting probably said it best.
 
Why is it so wrong? I dont get it :confused:

bikinimom said:
You mean to tell me that you would have sex with your ex's sister?

Ummmmm wrong, wrong, wrong.

Regardless of what HER intentions are this is a line that I would never cross. I share everything with my sister EXCEPT my shoes and MY MAN. My sister feels the same.

Just my .02
Click to expand...
 
It sounds like your ex-girlfriend's sister may very well be lonely and in need of some "SERIOUS" comforting. After all regardless of how she and her ex were or were not getting along at the time, he was still her baby's father. She is probably truly hurting right now and needs all the friends and genuine support that she can get. If your true intentions are to just "hit it" then maybe that would not be the right thing to do at this particular time (in light of recent events). It is not good to take advantage of someone in a weakened state because it is not good karma for you. However if you can be a source of comfort and a real friend to her, than by all means you should speak with her.
 
Last edited:
Because THAT IS MY SISTER!

I would never ever even remotely entertain the mere THOUGHT of laying under a man that had sex with my sister. Why? Because if she thought enough of this man (at one time, the past isn't negated automatically because the situation in now no longer present) to take her clothes off and get busy with him, then I would never disrespect HER FEELINGS.

The bro who started the thread would not want to disrespect his friend, even though the friend is no longer living. Then why on earth would he sleep with a woman who might have no trouble disrespecting her own living sister?

As I said.... just my .02
 
2tone said:
It sounds like your ex-girlfriend's sister my very well be lonely and in need of some "SERIOUS" comforting. After all regardless of how she and her ex were or were not getting along at the time, he was still her baby's father. She is probably truly hurting right now and needs all the friends and genuine support that she can get. If your true intentions are to just "hit it" then maybe that would not be the right thing to do at this particular time (in light of recent events). It is not good to take advantage of someone in a weakened state because it is not good karma for you. However if you can be a source of comfort and a real friend to her, than by all means you should speak with her.
Click to expand...
thanx brotha...that really put shit into perspective...i mean it
 
magman1 said:

no, she didnt lose her baby...she lost her baby's father...i dont think its wrong in terms of me and her sister, but rather bc of my friendship i had with her late fiance
Click to expand...

My bad. Sorry I didn't read it more carefully bro.
 
bikinimom said:
Because THAT IS MY SISTER!

I would never ever even remotely entertain the mere THOUGHT of laying under a man that had sex with my sister. Why? Because if she thought enough of this man (at one time, the past isn't negated automatically because the situation in now no longer present) to take her clothes off and get busy with him, then I would never disrespect HER FEELINGS.

The bro who started the thread would not want to disrespect his friend, even though the friend is no longer living. Then why on earth would he sleep with a woman who might have no trouble disrespecting her own living sister?

As I said.... just my .02
Click to expand...

You are forgetting that it is the SISTER who contacted him, not he contacting her.

There is nothing wrong with meeting up with her and being there to comfort her AS A FRIEND. However, should she want to take things further (ie sexual....but I doubt that as she is in a state of mourning) I do not think you should go down that road.

If you respect her, your ex, and the deceased whom you said was like a brother, you will not allow things to get sexual because it is too soon and would be nothing more than rebound/comforter sex. Nonetheless, there is nothing wrong with you consoling her as a friend. Remember, just a friend, nothing more AT THIS POINT IN TIME. After she has enough time and has moved on from her loss, then by all means if she is still interested pursue things then.
 
Hey Mister said:


You are forgetting that it is the SISTER who contacted him, not he contacting her. ...
Click to expand...

My point exactly. Why would he even want to be involved with a woman like that?... that is, IF there is anything to do with sex here.

She may be a very decent woman and sex may be the furthest thing from her mind. But if sex wasn't on HIS MIND, then this thread would never have even begun, correct?
 
bikinimom said:


She may be a very decent woman and sex may be the furthest thing from her mind. But if sex wasn't on HIS MIND, then this thread would never have even begun, correct?
Click to expand...


But guys always think of sex. Even when we are taking a dump or picking our noses.:D
 
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