Stick a Battery up my Ass and Call me Daddy

[KnoXville]

I have been awake since 4am Wednesday morning and feel surprisingly energetic right now. Insomnia’s on my ass like the Toronto argonaughts slamming Nathan’s turd chasm every Saturday night. So earlier this week being the smart bastard i am, got a girlfriend to prescribe me some sleeping stuff from the hospital. One was a apparently a powerful tranquilizer used to render crazy people unconscious. Well that shit didn’t work, and in the words of all bullits past girlfriends, i felt nothing.

So alas she got me this bright green capsuled mystery drug to use. Its actually called, novo clorohydrate, i say mystery because i could find no medical literature on google, rxlist or the national library of medicine. later I find out from her, earlier today (6 hours after taking it) that it was mass discontinued for reasons unknown.

Well i think i found out why, you know all those medication ads on tv, where they state the side effects really fast at the end, so you presumably don’t hear about the beautiful things like loss of bladder control, spontaneous vomiting or my personal favorite, anal leakage. Well 500mg of the mystery drug instantly turned me into a full blown human methane mill. Every 5 minutes I farted something that would render most small animals unconscious, this is not a understatement, and it lasted for a good eight hours. by the end my anus felt like someone had rubbed some good 'ol Jalapeno sauce all over it.

In fact as my girlfriend walked in this morning, the storage and closed atmosphere of my bedroom seemed to have created somewhat of a methane backdraft (kind of like the movie, except you couldn’t see this stuff coming) as she opened the door the scene kind off transpired like those videos where WWI troops are being bombarded by mustard vapour. the initial encounter, or as i like to call it ' the incappacitator' at first threw her back in a violent convulsion, it was truly horrible, she stood no chance against the great wall of methane, it was just too strong. After a matrix like decent backwards to the ground she crawled out of the bedroom and proceed to gasp for air like a fish out of water, or slicesofpeach2 after running a few steps.

So that was fun, and later on, this afternoon i dropped a deuce. Well if you want to be technical i probubly dropped about five simultaneously. and since the tranq didn't work, or the mystery drug, she got me niquil to try which i will combine with the tranq, but have yet to take tonight. I would have gave ambein a go, but you damn americanas are keeping it state side. So I fart in your direction.

 

[casavant]

Goddamn dude. You've been up since Wednesday morning just due to insomnia?

 

[KnoXville]

Yeah, it took a double dose of tranq's and some niquil to finally put me out at 4am this morning - things started getting really blurry and I lost most of my motor skills, fell asleep on the floor - just wokeup now. Its quite strange because usually I am falling asleep all the time; during classes, after meals, driving .. I hope this isn't the start of some kind of trend - I could be the first manic narcoinsomniac.

 

[casavant]

So you've been up for over 72 hours straight so far? I've never done that, even on caffeine, ephedrine, and adderall.

That is impressive.

 

[Big Johnson]

I've been up for eight days before.

At the end of the eigth day, I was fully convinced there was a small, green humanoid spying on me in my bedroom. Everytime I'd get a fix on him, he'd run behind my entertainment center and I'd lose sight of the little bastard. I decided, after several encounters, to get him, so I starting investigating the wall behind the entertainment center he would run and hide behind. There, I found a portal that led directly to my work. I could see people's legs moving around on the otherside and hear them talking. Wouldn't you know it? My work had sent a leprachan to spy on me.

If THAT isn't madness, I don't know what is.

 

[casavant]

I've been up for eight days before.

At the end of the eigth day, I was fully convinced there was a small, green humanoid spying on me in my bedroom. Everytime I'd get a fix on him, he'd run behind my entertainment center and I'd lose sight of the little bastard. I decided, after several encounters, to get him, so I starting investigating the wall behind the entertainment center he would run and hide behind. There, I found a portal that led directly to my work. I could see people's legs moving around on the otherside and hear them talking. Wouldn't you know it? My work had sent a leprachan to spy on me.

If THAT isn't madness, I don't know what is.

Were you on some of them there methamphetamines during this 8 day odyssey, perhaps?

 

[KnoXville]

So you've been up for over 72 hours straight so far? I've never done that, even on caffeine, ephedrine, and adderall.

That is impressive.

I actually didn't realize how long it was until yesterday, felt no symtoms of being tired the whole time, but there are some posts while waiting for the meds to kick in that I don't remember making. Also a print-out of a abstract from medline which outlines how male winstar rats died after prolonged sleep depreivation, which i don't remember printing.

 

[Lao Tzu]

Were you on some of them there methamphetamines during this 8 day odyssey, perhaps?

The symptoms of sleep deprivation are similiar to the symptoms of schizophrenia. After 40 hours you start having delusions.


Farthest i've ever gone is about 40 hours. I probably could have gone longer but there was no reason too. I've found that after the 30th hour much of the tiredness goes away

 

[Pamela]

Daddy~~~~

Did you hear about the guy that died,
from smelling his own farts?

You better be careful...

Do you really feel alright?

 

[Big Johnson]

Were you on some of them there methamphetamines during this 8 day odyssey, perhaps?

How'd you guess?

 

[KnoXville]

Did you hear about the guy that died,
from smelling his own farts?

You better be careful...

Do you really feel alright?

If you are deviously referring to triple-R (Rainbow Rectum Ranger) otherwise known as 'Nathan', I regret to inform you that he is still alive and currently still bottoming for the entire population of homeless deviants in Toronto. I myself, feel very peachy.

 

[Radical Ice]

Toooooooo funny KnoXville... if you are not a paid writer, you have definitely missed your calling!!!!

 

[KnoXville]

Well in that case thanks for the heads up, I seem to have missed my calling, by a very large margin. The sleeping med + tranq seems to be working very well now, I figure if I can keep this up for the next couple days my insomniac problems will be over and ill just have to worry about my narcolepsy and chronic bed wetting.

 

[supersizeme]

 

[Nathan]

Knoxville, your obsession with me is truly flattering. If I could stab you in the eye socket with a decaying penis belonging to the 6 month old corpse of a French jiggolo, I would. Up yours retard.

 

[KnoXville]

Knoxville, your obsession with me is truly flattering. If I could stab you in the eye socket with a decaying penis belonging to the 6 month old corpse of a French jiggolo, I would. Up yours retard.

Nat, I know deep in your heart, behind that hideous case of gyno you posted about on anabolic, you don’t really mean all those mean and ultimately harsh words you stated about me. After all, your my main t-dot broly up in hear. Were socially counted upon to relentlessly flame each other with fast one liners and quaint little quasisexual remarks all the time, and then at the end of the day break out the maple leaf cookies and giggle about it while ice skating or fervently beating up the mentally handicapped kids or something.

 

[KnoXville]

N, W d y s t f u, y b a l p mf

Why did you delete that other thread, was I getting to close?

 

[Nathan]

Nat, I know deep in your heart, behind that hideous case of gyno you posted about on anabolic, you don’t really mean all those mean and ultimately harsh words you stated about me. After all, your my main t-dot broly up in hear. Were socially counted upon to relentlessly flame each other with fast one liners and quaint little quasisexual remarks all the time, and then at the end of the day break out the maple leaf cookies and giggle about it while ice skating or fervently beating up the mentally handicapped kids or something.

I am so much better than you at physically abusing retarded children it isn't even funny.

 

[KnoXville]

I am so much better than you at physically abusing retarded children it isn't even funny.

Listen, there is absolutely no need to brag about how you just so happen to be that much better than I at relentlessly beating down on the neighborhood special-Ed crew. My weak kicking skills and inability to chase down 'wheels' aka that nerdy deaf wheelchair boy with the taped up bifocals is largely due to the hereditary weak ankles I have from my mothers side, we both know that and you are so out of line to bring up such a sensitive issue like that up in here.