Stfu

[Smurfy]

Have you ever had to tell someone that but in a nice way? How do you do that without hurting their feelings or making them feel badly even when you're fucking annoyed as all hell?

 

[samoth]

Everyone -- on three now... 1... 2... 3... STFU!

 

[KillahBee]

Make a joke out of it. Constantly tell them to shut up. Like, as soon as they say the first word of a sentence moan real loud and say "Oh god!!! Don't you ever shut up, Karen?!!!"

After you do that about 78 times they typically get the picture.

 

[Smurfy]

^yeah but that leaves them feeling poorly and Im trying NOT to do that. Im real good at telling people off and just saying SHUT UP or ARE YOU STILL TALKING or DID YOU SAY SOMETHING to indicate that i dont give a fuck and im not paying attention.
i need help with the "communicate in a way that is productive and nice"

 

[blueta2]

you can come right out and just tell me to my face, I'm pretty tough, I can take it

 

[Smurfy]

you can come right out and just tell me to my face, I'm pretty tough, I can take it

Im never mean to people unless they are immediate family. so you're lucky

 

[mountain muscle]

just keep asking "huh?" every other word.

Or man up and tell them to shut their fucking yapper.

 

[blueta2]

Im never mean to people unless they are immediate family. so you're lucky

but wait, I was to be your Mom ?!

 

[KillahBee]

^yeah but that leaves them feeling poorly and Im trying NOT to do that. Im real good at telling people off and just saying SHUT UP or ARE YOU STILL TALKING or DID YOU SAY SOMETHING to indicate that i dont give a fuck and im not paying attention.
i need help with the "communicate in a way that is productive and nice"

not if it's implemented precisely. here's the beauty of it: they will be forced to laugh with everybody else in the room. otherwise, they are the asshole for being all serious. so they can never get pissed at you. and they will begin feeling shitty about it, but it will be that deep down shitty where they don't really know if it's real or not and feel bad about calling you out on it so they let the shame and discomfort just lay there deep inside like a baby in the womb until eventually they become a cutter and only know happiness through abusive relationships with men.

(i.e. "The Way KB Gets Women")

 

[Smurfy]

not if it's implemented precisely. here's the beauty of it: they will be forced to laugh with everybody else in the room. otherwise, they are the asshole for being all serious. so they can never get pissed at you. and they will begin feeling shitty about it, but it will be that deep down shitty where they don't really know if it's real or not and feel bad about calling you out on it so they let the shame and discomfort just lay there deep inside like a baby in the womb until eventually they become a cutter and only know happiness through abusive relationships with men.

(i.e. "The Way KB Gets Women")

so what about if it's just you and the other person in, say, your living room and for the hell of it let's say you're also married to this person? and this person doesnt seem to get :hints: about when someone gives a fuck what they are rambling about and when they dont, they talk simply to serve their own need to have diarrhea of the mouth. like they just cant help themselves they have a need to spill out all this knowledge and dont care who they are telling?\
what about that?

 

[blueta2]

so what about if it's just you and the other person in, say, your living room and for the hell of it let's say you're also married to this person? and this person doesnt seem to get :hints: about when someone gives a fuck what they are rambling about and when they dont, they talk simply to serve their own need to have diarrhea of the mouth. like they just cant help themselves they have a need to spill out all this knowledge and dont care who they are telling?\
what about that?

well then make sure your sons in the room and laughs when you say it so then your hubby will have to laugh with him

 

[needtogetarmy]

GHB in the coffee works for me.

 

[borris]

Make a joke out of it. Constantly tell them to shut up. Like, as soon as they say the first word of a sentence moan real loud and say "Oh god!!! Don't you ever shut up, Karen?!!!"

After you do that about 78 times they typically get the picture.

lolllloll, that's funny as hell but I think after you say that repitively too many times they'll think your making fun of them and will take it worse rather than just telling them they're being annoying


I think you need a different way to tell somebody to shut up depending on the scenario... Like if you're around a crowd of friends of if you're one on one on a date. It's hard to tell people politely to shutup, I havn't figured out the right technique either

 

[all the whey]

you can come right out and just tell me to my face, I'm pretty tough, I can take it

 

[Smurfy]

well then make sure your sons in the room and laughs when you say it so then your hubby will have to laugh with him

nah, Id not want to talk like that to my husband in the presence of my son. that doesnt bode well for all involved.

point here is, as a spouse there is some level of compromise you have to make which includes listening to things you dont necessarily care about to appease the SO. If he has a need to spill out all this knowledge he has absorbed into his brain (dude is a brainiac), then I, as his wife, should be able to be the sounding board even if i have no interest in the topic, just as a way of being supportive of his needs.

but i have needs too, which involve lots of peace and quiet, and to be left alone when Im trying to wind down from working all day and having to get my son through his homework and get him fed for dinner, etc.

So when you have 2 people with varying/differing needs, it's hard to come to a sound conclusion. which is why i asked for perhaps a decent way of telling him to STFU because otherwise, I just get annoyed and pissy that he is talking incessantly. I myself, would never go on and on about something to someone who obviously had no interest. there;'s a level of ignorance with people who do that.

we have instituted a system by which he has to preface a conversation like this with a "are you ready at this time to be bombarded with this?" kind of statement and which I then basically say yes or no. and if i say yes (i have to say yes sometimes as a sign of being supportive of his needs) and he goes on too long, Im supposed to alert him when he's nearing my limit of giving a rats ass or my level of attention before he's lost me, so he can wrap up his rambling.

but most of the time he forgets to preface it and just starts spewing whether im ready or not. and then i get annoyed.