Sometimes you have to be selfish

[big4life]

Why can't people understand that you have to get away?

I spend my extra time taking care of my mom, and yet my brothers want to make me feel guilty about heading to the beach for threee days.

They want to know who is going to do this or that?

It's only three days!! Plus they live less the 15 miles away from her.

I agreed to take care of her when my father passed away, but I also have a life!!

 

[WODIN]

Tell the lazy fuckers to step up to the plate for awhile and to stop being such pricks about your need to get away.

 

[velvett]

They try and get to you because they don't want the responsibility you've chosen to take on. Perhaps you should remind them of what failures they are at being *good sons* to their mother.

 

[velvett]

I still think you should test them and announce that you have accepted a new job somewhere that would require you to move away.

(I realize this seems cruel to your mom...)

It would be interesting how they would react. I would bet they would think you were ruining their lives rather than improving your own.

BAH!

I could ramble on about this - pisses me off so.

oh and one more thing - for your brothers..

manipulation

n 1: exerting shrewd or devious influence especially for one's own advantage

 

[Pineapple Devil]

how old are your brothers. please tell me their immaturity reflects their age

 

[big4life]

I still think you should test them and announce that you have accepted a new job somewhere that would require you to move away.

(I realize this seems cruel to your mom...)

I would be interesting how they would react. I would bet they would think you were ruining their lives rather than improving your own.

BAH!

I could ramble on about this - pisses me off so.

Thanks sweetie, believe me, that is exactly how they would react.




BTW. thanks for being there for me and being the special lady that you are.

 

[VooDoo Lady]

Why can't people understand that you have to get away?

I spend my extra time taking care of my mom, and yet my brothers want to make me feel guilty about heading to the beach for threee days.

They want to know who is going to do this or that?

It's only three days!! Plus they live less the 15 miles away from her.

I agreed to take care of her when my father passed away, but I also have a life!!

I have found that people will step up to the plate of you ask them to. Sometimes we run ourselves into the ground doing things for other people when in all actuality they are willing and able to help out, if you just ask.

You have conditioned them to rely on you to take care of your mom, start making them take on some of the responsibility. It'll be hard at first, but then they'll get used to helping and then some of the pressure will taken off of you.

Sometimes all you have to do is ask!

....and sometimes people are just lazy fuckers...but I'm trying to be encouraging here

 

[big4life]

how old are your brothers. please tell me their immaturity reflects their age

No, unfortunately 2 of my brothers and my sister are older than me.

 

[lamamacita]

That sucks Big!!! I would tell them to bite me if they couldn't handle a 3 day inconvience, for a job you do 362 days a year. You seem too nice, not a bad thing. Sometimes you have to put your foot down, though.

 

[The Shadow]

big - it isn't about being selfish...it's about retaining your sanity....don't feel pressured or anxious - have a good time and you will be super-charged when you return

 

[polarpixie]

Bigs, don't let them get to you like that. They know what a genuinely nice person you are and is using that against you. So unfair.

Leave them with instructions, and tell them to think of it like a game and they should pretend you do not exist for those 3 days and tell them that when you get back, they can resume their old game of pretendin like your mom does not exist.

Really Bigs, when you start your vacation, DO NOT WORRY about them. Relax. Forget about your responsibilities. They will still be there when you get back. So have some well-deserved fun while you can.

 

[smallmovesal]

it's about being firm and standing your ground... you can be nice and still not let people take advantage of you. i'm learning this skill.