So I'm at the gym...

[Nathan]

...and i thought it might be fun to mix things up a little bit. Anyways, I took out a 10lb tub of vasoline, which you can readily find at your local supermarket, and rubbed down the floor with a thick slathering of the lubricant in question. I then removed all my clothing save my thick winter socks and one of those kick-ass hats menonites typically wear, and took a 45lb plate in my hands. I ran at a dastardly speed towards the path of vasoline and leaped into the air, tucking the 45lb plate snuggly against my ass cheeks. I hit the floor with a thud and slid gracefully across the floor, careening at top notch speed. I slid for a good 10 meters until finally I came to an abrupt halt where the lathering of vasoline ended. The whole exerpience had me really excited, which roughly translates into: "My penis was harder than an exposed nipple on a cold Alaskan morning." So, before I knew what I was doing I was hitting poses in the mirror, my gaze primarily fixated on my swollen member. I knew at that moment what I had to do. I quickly removed the assorted luncheon meats I had stached in my gym bag and began removing a hole in their centers and sticking them on my phallus. I got a good 17 different types of lunch meat on there and then sprinted out of the gym to the nearest pet store. I ran to the chinchilla cage and I'm pretty sure you can figure out the rest. I have never in my life had such a fulfilling workout.
Also, I feel you all are hard workers and I would just like to take this opportunity to say that I love you all. Keep up the good work team and always remember that I am thinking of you guys when I'm taking dumps - that's when I'm at my most sincere and retrospective you know.

P.S. I posted this to see how long it takes to get moved to the chat board. So there. It's my own private experiment.

 

[Xtreme2001]

lol..

What a guy.

 

[jc21]

lmao

that was hilarious...you have one hell of a sense of humor.

 

[Nathan]

lmao

that was hilarious...you have one hell of a sense of humor.

I think it stems from the fact that I have a huge dick. It's really fucking big too. I'd post pics but I don't want to make anyone feel bad you know?

 

[The Almighty]

 

[Baby Gorilla]

Oh gad....

Funny, I think.

Another VG wannabe.

 

[Nathan]

Re: Oh gad....

Funny, I think.

Another VG wannabe.

Who is VG? I don't know him and thus I have probably been around longer than that jackass, whoever he is (i am naturally assuming he is a jackass).

 

[Golfer18--old]

One sick dude.....

 

[|NTRAMUSCULAR]

Nathan your my hero

one of my favorite pieces is:


"....I remove my pants in the middle of the club and start masturbating to show the receptive females that I am interested. Whoever takes over first wins. I'm so fucking sexy it's scary. Watch out! I usually urinate on the really hot chicks too so that other guys know they are spoken for. I have a headache."

thats is quality

 

[BigAndy69]

I've known and hung out with Nathan for a while now, and I can honestly say I've never meet a more honest, caring sick son of a bitch. ( Ps: I love this similie, I don't think it gets used as much as it should.)

 

[Nathan]

I've known and hung out with Nathan for a while now, and I can honestly say I've never meet a more honest, caring sick son of a bitch. ( Ps: I love this similie, I don't think it gets used as much as it should.)

I've hung out with Andy for a while now and I can honestly say i have never met a more funny, savy, homosexual asshole in all my life. (P.S He wears nylons under his jeans but he doesn't want anyone to know.)

 

[drveejay11]

Nathan...........what the f'ck is wrong with you man?

 

[browndog1]

I'm laughing my ass off over here.

..bd

 

[Fonz]

Nathan...........what the f'ck is wrong with you man?

He's been committed more times than I care to count because
he keeps doing disgusting sexual things to those poor
dogs his neighbour has.

Damn things are scared by him. Completely traumatized.

Just sick Nate. Just Sick.

LOL j/k

Fonz

 

[BigAndy69]

I've hung out with Andy for a while now and I can honestly say i have never met a more funny, savy, homosexual asshole in all my life. (P.S He wears nylons under his jeans but he doesn't want anyone to know.)

Hey Nathan I may be an asshole I'll give you that...but just because every man and woman wants me for my sexy body, it doesn't make me gay.

Don't hate me because I'm beautiful.

<----- Nathan

auly: <----- Andy (me)

 

[thelegacy]

dude that reminds me of highschool--for a senior prank two guys greased the stair way that goes down two flights--and it was one of the funniest things i saw until a girl slipped really hard and fell down all those stairs and snapped her leg and the kids got expelled but it always funny to an extent.

 

[Nathan]

Hey Nathan I may be an asshole I'll give you that...but just because every man and woman wants me for my sexy body, it doesn't make me gay.

Don't hate me because I'm beautiful.

<----- Nathan

auly: <----- Andy (me)

It's a good thing you put that 'me' in brackets otherwise we might not have konwn who you meant by 'Andy'. Fag.

 

[Nathan]

dude that reminds me of highschool--for a senior prank two guys greased the stair way that goes down two flights--and it was one of the funniest things i saw until a girl slipped really hard and fell down all those stairs and snapped her leg and the kids got expelled but it always funny to an extent.

i wish i could have been there to see that. That must have been a good time.

 

[Mike P.T.]

 

[McBane]

haha Nathan I always love reading your posts they always make me laugh or turn me on, which one is more disturbing I do not know.